Retrospections! Emotional ecology......

I can fly!!!! Mom look :)

2011-02-25T11:33:00.004+05:30

They say , don't stop him from doing such creative stuff...
Oh yes! I tried only to be faced with playdough stains, all over his room walls...( they can be ugly too , you know)
Art attack on tv has nearly corroded my heart...what with so many tissue rolls being used( Amma, can I please take a lil bit.....only to see the whole roll dissolve)

Those superhero programs, has given him broken bones, smiles, storyboard sessions....and oh yes! sleepless nights for us too :D

The cartoon shows, - Pokemon, beyblade...either has me scurrying away for a hiding place or wondering if my kid has suddenly turned into some " Great Gambler" ...
Reminds me of those childhood days when outside our house, those street urchins, would sit in packs, playing with some weird paper cards...never understood the craze then. They were shoo'd and bodily lifted out too....but now I see a very similar scenario but in pristine, urbane surroundings...and of course with those very valuable, packs of 100's cards :(
How we see time coming back at you like a flashback in those doordarshan tv days...

The strip above reminded me so much of my lil son, who is always so engrossed in 'making something' as he says....and if he sees a frown on my face of more a 'volcano ready to erupt' look, he quickly writes a "Love you amma!!" and then all the frowns smoothen out...
How can we resist such love... :))

November again????

2010-11-11T09:23:00.002+05:30

Ok....so its been a year now since I actually wrote something that one could read..and I'm so clueless as to why?

I have come here many a times to write but somehow never got down to doing it...
blame it on my Iphone which I got addicted to.... :( { bad girl}

Should I say, I ran out of thoughts???? Na....it flowed easily onto status messages, sms's phone calls, but none got converted to words

Its been ages now....and I miss all the fun I had while I was here.
Do you think you'll can welcome me back into this domain?????

I'm going to do just that....be right back...

Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"

2009-11-05T08:34:00.004+05:30

Children can be such stressbusters!!!

One minute they are making you tear your hair ( slowly dwindling numbers) out and the nest they are soothing your tensions away with their funny ways.
One day i'm sure i'll soon be waving my hands off to my kids backs and then i'll look back on these days and think " what the heck, it wasn't so bad after all!! I wonder why I made such a big fuss about it? :( " I guess parenting can be trying.

Trying, on the brains and on the slowly tiring out souls. With one son in his blissful teenage years, blissful because he wants it to be that, and knows the mom is glaring at the phase, and the younger brat on his case to becoming the best disciple of brotherhood!! It can be fun if one looks at it that way...but however I look at it, it doesn't seem so. Am I looking at life lopsidedly I wonder!
I always thought mothers were a 'super market' with endless supply of questions, solutions, craft projects, supply store....but sadly its never enough.
The older boy is always in the "You dont know anything, Ma" phase, but keeps coming back to me and asking me for opinions...and when I do give one, feeling way too thrilled at being considered, there is a retort " You dont know anything" Oh yes, we never know anything enough, do we???

Most of the times the siblings are at war with each other...fist fights and sometimes the younger sends out those nasty kicks too ( a karate kid, he is) ...but when I try to pry them apart and put them into their respective rooms, it fails to maintain some semblence of order. The very
next second, they are in each others rooms again. I give up and rightly so! Let them fight their wars...
It started off with " Don't hit him, he's younger and can't understand", but the young brat picked up on that and now he's bullying the older teen :( Talk of understated ages and sibling issues.

Erma Bombeck had rightly said this about kids
"Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids." How right she is!!

But the back of my mind rebels and rightly points its finger in the direction of guilt if I were to let them get a earful.

It is tough I know, Because guilt is the only gift that keeps on giving! I have to still find a parent more specifically a mother who refuses her child something for his own good only to spend the rest of the day wallowing in guilt. But i'm so glad to say i've finally conquered the "give in to guilt" syndrome...and can now just feel horrid and terrible but carry on as if I was always right...I smile through the guilt and let it eat my insides but still try not to give in to those emotional blackmails kids are so technically masters of.

Do you know how many it takes to turn off the bathroom lights? Well 2 !
1 who says "Which light?"
and the other who retorts with " I didn't turn it on, so..... " and this coming from a kid who's a member of the 'Go Green club' in our apartment complex... lol!!! hrmmmpffff.

I wonder how mothers of 10 kids managed in the yester years or did the phase teenage years never exist???
I'm still trying to find the far end of the momma super market , where they find patience and tolerance in discounted form or better the "Buy one get one free" section.

Just the simple feeling of being!!

2009-10-25T14:30:00.003+05:30

Turning the very hyped 4 'O' recently, made me all excited...not for what the future held in store for me....nah!! I'm not such a bore...I loved the age factor, 'cos from now I could always find the scapegoat in my age :D
I could always turn around and say " I guess age is catching up, and thats why I keep forgetting " ignoring the fact that i've become so forgetful, because of factors other than age :(
But I am so glad that age has caught up and made me more appreciative ...I love my life as it is. I wouldnt want to change a single minute of my day. I like it as it is!! I like the uncertainity with which I face the day, not knowing whether my kids will eat the lunch packed for them...I like the excuses they make for each uneaten lunch. They are masters at creative thinking. How many of us can even think of such adorable reasons for that...poker faced, sometimes, guilt for making me feel bad...but most times, nothingness..I wouldnt want to change any of that...I know that when they grow older, they'll wipe out kitchen stocks before I can say 'EAT'!!
I like the fact that inspite of my age I can still multi task. Ignoring the sugar that went into the coffeemaker by mistake, and the tea leaves into the sambhar..ignore that would you..

I still love the energy I can conjure up at the sight of a child. Many ,makes my world more brighter.

My younger one turned 9 a couple of days back, and he brought with it a new meaning to friends and parties. I organised a small party for his friends of the complex. A very easy task it should have been for me who has organised birthdays for both kids over the last 13 years..It surely should have been easy. But this time it was different. I knew very few kids , because people have been moving in frequently and all I know are the faces but no names, and sometimes some names which doesnt have a face ...So I entrusted the task of making a list to my son himself...a very responsible task for him..so very meticulously he listed down the names ( i'd like to think that gene was passed down from me, i'm positive) I invited most of them and then set off to do my shopping, assuming it was all final..motherly instincts set in and told me to just buy those extra set of gifts ...and buy I did.
The party was to begin and the first set of kids walked in all dressed smartly...with all sweetness I bent down to ask them their names...the names they rattled off, sent my eyebrows into a knot...those names seemed new...I waited to speak to my son and find out if there were many like them...but I just let it be, I would deal with it later...When I sopke to him in the few seconds I caught up with him during the mad party, he just shrugged his shoulders so nonchalently " Yep I invited them while I was going for my karate classes" , so cute...i'm so glad he didnt choose to leave them behind, The party was so much fun...the excitement of the kids, the mess they
make, the smile they have when they are allowed all those liberties...I simply love the innocence with which they have fun...pure ,simple, and uncomplicated. All that they want is " their return gift" I wonder why we as adults can't seem to just enjoy things in such a simple way. NO fuss, just go out and have fun.

Smile and accept each day as it comes :)

And how I smile!! :) :) :) :)

2009-09-20T08:52:00.005+05:30

There was a time when 11 a.m would bring with it a sense of anticipation. The sound of the 'plonk' on tin, was very soothing. It was I should know. Those were the days when all that you needed to convey to the person living across miles was 'the snail mail'. The lovely handwritten sheets, the blue 'inland letter', the dull yellow post card. They were all there to witness smiles, tears, screeches as news let itself out or just the shy acknowledgement of sweet whispers of love from a loved one.Oh yes!! those were the days!! *sigh*

There were times when an urgent ( remember urgent meant 'emergency' ) message had to be sent, we had to trudge along ,amidst the pressing responsibilties just to stand in the crowded, dingy, dark stained walled post offices, only to send the limited edition messages. " mother arriving, 8 pm train", grandmother serious, please come immediately" ...They had charges for each word..so brevity meant saving those few coins ;) Telegrams were overshadowed by pagers and then the upmarket mobiles., but the fun was lost..no more calculations before trying out various ways to pen down your thoughts, into those miniscule spaces that the standard letters and postcards gave us.

It was fun though, when we would try to open the letter in a hurry and end up opening it at the wrong end, only to realise, that the letter was sliced into half :D...so it was a jigsaw puzzle after that.I used to write a lot of letters then, receive as many or many many more...I remember writing on trips to friends giving them a minute to minute updates, writing to my family when I would go away for weeks on NCC camps whining about the food, but raving about the time I was having. Though the fact that the letter would choose to finally reach its destination a week later was no setback, I would love to write. I guess that trait I imbibed frm my father who ,living in a different city because of work, would so lovingly write to each of us in our family a separate letter...no common letter for all of us to peep into..my brother was very young a kindergarten kid, but he would get one too...which we sisters would read out to him.

Nowadays I still try my best ( very poorly though) to keep in touch with the pen, paper and stamp routine...some of the stamps I used to have as backup( would buy one whole lot of 1 re stamps to avoid the walk up to the post office to buy them), are ready for archiving, its been that long. I do write a few bits here and there to family, those cards posted for birthdays, or new years...but they have never seen the inside of that solid looking, red coloured tin box on the street side. It goes straight onto the desk of the courier chap, and of it goes in its swanky settings to the destination...no more peeling of stamps in a hurry, no more trying to figure out where the card came from.

Times have changed, but some things do remain ; the excitement of seeing a card or letter handwritten, postage stamp stuck in the corner and the black half legible stamped seal on the cover...

I was the lucky one today...and that smile has been pasted and refuses to dissolve..

She said in her latest post, that Friendship can be found in unusual places. It sure does..I met her while browsing gingerly through my new found interest, the 'blogworld'..many posts and a few calls in between we did manage to meet too...was so thrilled to be part of her book launch session...Reading her posts, i'm caught shaking my head constantly, 'cos we are so alike as moms...and when she wrote this post many posts ago, I won her handwritten card prize :D....yes I was grinning then and I am grinning now....I am in receipt of her beautifully handmade card. My sons were so amazed to know that people send cards in such ways too ( they need to be educated on surprises too... ) and they were going " so sweet no ma!!, "awesome" "she made it herself", " why did she post it" " the little one had this to say " how did she send it from there???" and then I knew, I had made my own day...

Thanks Preethi, for the card, for the memories attached to it, for the sentiment that goes with it, and most importantly the friendship that tags along slowly behind it....
A HUGE THANK YOU!!!!

An island of my own!

2009-09-02T09:52:00.004+05:30

In our hectic, fast-paced, consumer-driven society, it's common to feel overwhelmed, isolated and alone. Many are re-discovering the healing and empowering role that community can bring to our lives. The sense of belonging we feel when we make the time to take an active role in our communities can give us a deeper sense of meaning and purpose. -- Robert Alan

The only way to make friends with time is to stay friends with people….

Community living is something I love. While growing up as kids, we used to live in apartment complexes, because our father worked in a place that gave him such accomodation. I had no complaints then.It gave me memories of a lifetime.
It taught me that it is:

Easy to make friends.

Families move in and out, so often, you get used to the packers and cartons much more easily than some others .
It taught me to smile even when I heard umpteen hammers banging through my wall. It meant, I would have new neighbours soon..
Dinners were special events during vacations...because we would get permission to go play after. And the fun in playing in the dark, was something we never thought was special then. Now when my kids wonder what to do, after they are exhausted with playing through the entire day, I remind them that they could go play later after dinner, and they oh! so love it.

We moved out , and into a colony culture. The emotional space around me was the same, except the houses were all horizontally aligned. We had more hiding places to look forward to. We got to become very skillful with street games. No matter how many vehicles ( those days, it was more of bicycles and scooters- the la vespa kinds) than 4 wheelers, so our 'lagori', I-spy, hopskotch, etc were all played around obstacles( stones, dirty roads, angry moms, watered down gutters during monsoons, and sometimes, those slithery crawlies called snakes too) Yes! we saw it all...We played games on the sit-outs, after dark, and sometimes had a dinner in a friends house, only because "R aunty's rasam was tastier than our dosas :(...
Life moved on, I got married, moved into my new family and also into a new environment. An independent house bang on the main road. I was in shock...I smiled at all and sundry, when I came out to put rangoli, but only got silent glares in return. I learnt to slowly behave like they wanted me to. No more running out to the next house , cos my rasam was very boring. I learnt to live through it, and learnt to make friends too...I didn't give up , you see..I made friends with the people who came to buy veggetables, the lady from the milk booth, I did it too... and it worked!
And then I wanted my kids to experience the same life I had, had...so we moved into apartments again.
I saw my sons thrive, they learnt to fight out their childhood arguments, withstood bullying, learnt to eat in a neighbours house, without feeling scared. and they actually loved it all
Now I have moved into my own house in an apartment complex. I was worried initially. I was used to a smaller community and this was huge. I had my apprehensions. Would I find my son, if he's hiding under a stairway, what if he gets stuck in the innumerable elevators. What if's became more than 'they can'. It worried me...I had those sleepless nights too...

Life slipped easily into a routine and before I realised it, there were nearly 200 and odd families who had moved in. We began to smile, bump into each others paths and doorways, much more easily. I found my kids easier than I had imagined...I just needed to holler out, and then someone would step out to help in the search..nowadays the search starts by itself...I have kids who give me a regular update about my sons whereabouts, and of course, i'm loving it.
The camarederie with which we all live together, the events we plan together, the laughter that resounds when one of us can't stop cackling, the gossip which returns , the rasam which still tatstes better in the neighbours house. I'm smiling through it all.

Today is ONAM a festival for Keralites. We have a very small number of malayalis in our complex, compared to the

hundreds of others. But when there are more heads that combine, it doesn't matter anymore. They got together to draw out their lovely pookolams, and of course invite us hungry souls for their yummy Sadhya....

I'm still smiling through it all. I know that life's not going to be boring anymore...it might be too packed and hectic, but it doesn't matter ...it helps me smile through all those stressed 'exam moments', bruised knees, frantic project sessions, endless cooking and tantrums galore. It helps me laugh it all away...it keeps me from "growing old inside"!!!!!

Free, and unfettered

2009-08-18T18:42:00.002+05:30

Does independence actually mean freedom from someone? Or does it mean you have the opportunity to break your shackles. Being fettered is just a mind game. It’s all in the mind. If you feel the world around you closing in, all you need is to let the window of your soul, and mind open…just watch and see how life, fresh ideas, lovely thoughts, beautiful smiles and laughter seeps in slowly, but surely.

Read this ( click on the coloured word to see the article) very nice article and thought I would share it with you all….I wonder if any of you would agree with her.

She smiles like a twinkling star!!

2009-08-08T10:52:00.006+05:30

Her eyes twinkled when she smiled. And smile she did so often it was contagious. She radiated a unique sense of energy to those who followed her.
When she laughed her laugh lines stretched so wide it reached the next beautiful smile. She was one with a million dreams, an endless heart, the hand that soothed several tired limbs and the one just wanted to be.

When her partner cried like a baby because she left him alone to go out and meet her friends for her daily round of gossip, she’d get upset. But naturally, it was her intense determination to let the world in on her world. She was so softspoken, one had to strain his ears to hear her. So childlike, her enthusiasm was so infectious.
Her motto in life was to “Live on, its not the end of the world”. As a couple she and her partner had raised kids to the dozens, children , grandchildren and greatgrandchildren. When he touched the babies, it was as if there an invisible protection bubble being created around the child. She insisted on visiting every new born in her family. Nothing would stop her from taking those quick, nimble steps to reach her destination.

Her hair combed so neatly , I wondered if she ever felt bored not to, any single day? Her hands always laden with glass bangles, ones she always insisted I slide it through her soft wrinkly hands. She was special, and she was beautiful for us through her lovely thoughts and her most generous nature.

On the day she celebrated staying together for 75 good years with her partner(75th wedding anniversary), who was nearing a century, she was shy. She blushed when we teased her. She recollected some real wonderful moments with all of us. …and some present there turned beet red!!

She was asked to talk about her extended family, and her life in a joint one. Her position as a wife, mother, grandparent, teacher, friend, guide and most importantly just being HER.. She was as excited as a little child with the candy , seeing herself on television, it made the whole family cherish that moment.
Most remember her for her lovely goodies she would cook up, some which she said couldn’t be made without the right amount of dedication and love. Pour it in, close your eyes, feel the fragrance wift through your nose, if it smells good to you, so will it taste for your people, she said. The aromas, still slowly slides through and settles on our senses…we still hold onto those moments.
Cherish it we will, because at 93 she was our only best…she was our GRANDMOTHER.

To my grandmother who passed on, to celebrate her life along with her husband 13 days ago….they’ll make merry with the angels, and I’m sure bring more smiles to those up there.

p.s (The baby in the above picture, in her lap is my firstborn.)

He shares our childhood memories

2009-08-05T08:55:00.002+05:30

"Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled....To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."

My brother who could be SEEN but hardly heard, one who went about his ways, in his own special way. He makes us feel all puffed up when we see him grow and grow he did on all sides though. For all the pinches and punches he withstood, the elder sister standing tall to bully and ready to ambush. Pushing him to the far end of the family spectrum, 'cos he was small and young...giving him the odd chair on the dining table. He took it in his stride and let us into his world. He grew up and we left those skinny two legs behind, we search for them high and low, but we found in its place a bean bag to envelop and warm our souls..he's our brother, round and tall...he's there for us cordless or not..we love him just as he is, and we are proud...he's the only one who can be called "MY LOVING BROTHER" love

For my brother who means the world to me...HAPPY RAKHI

Revival?

2009-08-02T09:33:00.005+05:30

As evening descended a familiar feel to the day took place. The lights brightened, the lamps were lit, all arrangements were checked many times over to receive the many guests who would arrive at our house, for the haldi kumkum event.

It was the Varalakshmi pooja and it was being celebrated in a very traditional way. The pooja being done in the morning, the evening was set aside, for the ladies who would come in bringing their smiles, their finery, their lovely silks and of course a lot of gossip too.
The main topic of discussion would weave its path from hot topics like which saree was the latest in pattern, to who had made the best prasad.

This year, we had a double bonus in the form of ‘Go Green’. Some of the ladies had brought in their huge bags to take home the bounty from the various houses they would visit. It was so heartening to see this awareness, because invariably they would ask for a plastic bag to take home the many cups, coconuts etc from all their visits.

It also took me back to the time, when we as kids would wait with curious breaths..for such occasions,…The colony where we lived, organized a small recital of VishnuSahasranam every Thursday , Each week it would be held in a different house. As kids we were not so much into religion, we were interested in meeting our friends, passing our time running around and of course trying to figure out what the prasad for that day would be. If it was in the house of ‘prasad choice’ , we had to troop in before the aarathi or else the glares we would get from our fathers or other elderly people in the gathering would make us run for dear lives. So it had to be at the appropriate time, time enough to be part of the recital, but not early enough to get bored out of our guts.. I remember there was this particular verse which would mean the last part was nearly close. It was the “ Vanamali gathi shaangi”….(for those who know this , will understand what i'm saying here )our well trained ears would catch hold of that word , and in we would file in, silent, sly and smug. Loud enough for the parents to hear our devotion, we would sing the last few verses with utmost precision ( of course we had been reciting just that for so many weeks, we had to be perfect at it ).

Then the time would come for the distribution of prasad…the much awaited part of the day. It was fun, the anticipation, the repeated requests for more, the patience we developed, just to eat what we loved the most. These small , simple events of our lives interspersed with so many bigger ones, it overlapped and then slowly got absorbed. Not knowing how, I realized, I have learnt most of the traditions, all handed down through subtle methods, none forced on us reluctant kids. No amount of persuasion can bring a bored child to smile, when he/s she is made to sit through something they don’t like. But they do learn by watching as they grow and this was obviously what our parents excelled at, without making it obvious.

Sadly kids nowadays hardly have time to absorb such niceties. They are more interested in their psp's, games, etc. :( I’m not saying it should be made compulsory. But traditions would die a peaceful death if it were not for such methods. If it means the kids get to eat their favourite sweet, only on such days, I’m sure they would wait with more interest…and relish it all the more. I’ve been trying to follow this too….tried never to force my kids to do something, but made it interesting enough for them to watch, got them to help around with the arrangements, invited their friends over so they have company and just let them be…
I’m hoping one day it will help pass on traditions and culture which Indians are so rich in.

Its very gladdening to say, that now after all these years, years of having lived in far off lands away from these old culture pots...the very same "prasada eating only" kids, have decided to facilitate the celebration of Ganesh Chaturthi...and when my father spoke to me about it, I could hear so much pride in his voice...he was proud of his many children who had withstood all the glares only for this...

:D

2009-08-01T08:27:00.004+05:30

Where in the world did I lose the thinking part of my system???

Strangely my mind which rattles off words at million words in a second, speaks faster than even that..the system which can conjure unimaginable abilities to chat up, wonder where the ability to pen down those very same thoughts go!!

Those months ago...( 2 years now since I started blogging!! ) when I started to blog, I remember stepping out of the house, and being impatient to get back. You wonder why? Don't!! I would have seen, heard or wondered a million things and everything had to be sent out to the world in the form of the post...and was I successful, oh Yes!!! I enjoyed it. I would wait to see how the post sounded, or sometimes would worry, if I would be thought crazy if I blogged twice in a day!! I did that too...but I loved it. I never thought if it was ok to post about this or that!!!

Now forward life to 24 months hence...and i'm sitting waiting for people to pass by, thoughts to dance across and sometimes I do read about something and think hmmm this should go into some lines of a post...but all of a sudden it disappears :(.

There are times when I think "Oh ! but they already know about this" ,cos I've managed to meet and get to know many of the bloggers...and it has been so fulfiiling...( hey!! now don't go away thinking this a 'vote of thanks'....i'm still here...and here to stay...)

Just went through a very 'brainnumb phase' thats it....now i'm hoping to get back to writing....and more writing... :)...yes there will be times when you'll tear your hair out and say arrrgggg, Praaaaats...mad woman...but I assure you, I still remember each and every one of you...and i'm coming back to stalk you :D

Hello!!! Is it me you are looking for???

2009-06-25T09:51:00.003+05:30

It was way back in the 80’s when my parents decided to own a telephone…yep before that very few had the privilege. It was a mindset, I’m sure. When my dad said “ There is no need, for one, we have managed pretty well so far” …The kids and the women’s faces fell…chin nearly dropping to the ground. Such was the effect then. But of course we did manage to get one eventually and of course, the need was very much there.
Right from calling up the inlaws at sharp 8 in the morning to find out if they had finished their coffee (hmmppfff, for old timers 8 is breakfast time…coffee has been digested eons ago…), to finding out if his school friend had managed to get admission for his son to informing the borther-in-law that their documents were not in order…yes, My dad did indeed not have the need !!! We always knew the phone was not for us to look at even during that morning phase…
It’s a long way from then….

The endless wearing down of the carpet, to make sure the phone was kept properly in its position, ‘cos it hadn’t rung in nearly and hour…the countless cleaning of the instrument with soap solution..( I’ve also used dettol sometimes to clean it up) The crisp laced cover to keep it dustfree and whatnot free !!!, the small wooly support mat underneath…yes it had it all….
We used to have some fun moments too…wrong numbers, funny voices and of course lots of prank calls…

The funny gurgling sound it made while the numbers were being rotated …which at times would be irritating( whenever we needed to make those discreet calls and mom was around) it had its great days.
But amidst all this I remember, most calls would be answered with the caller asking for the person he/she wanted to talk to…sometimes even confirming the number.

But as days went on….I answered calls that went like this
Caller :“ Do you have poster paper in flouroscent yellow?” ( no hello, whatever!!)
Me : Yes, I have 10 will it be enough ( we were in the midst of submission so it was normal for friends to call and ask around for sheets and stationery)
Caller : How much is it going to cost? ( huh!!! )
Me : silence ( I was stunned)
Will you be open till 8 today?
Me : some more silence
Me : hmmm….open? which number did you want?
Caller : …… stationery, isn’t it? ( The popular stationery mart for architects then and my namesake too)
Hmppfffff…..and it was one of my juniors in agony ‘cos next day was submission….

Years have gone by, but stress, rushed time and errors haven’t changed one bit.

The telephone still exists with lots of high tech options- caller id, etc, etc…
So when I received this clal this morning, I saw the number and realized it was the intercom and it came from the floor my inlaws apartment is located. So concerned( ‘cos they aren’t in station, I picked up the call….hoping there was no emergency.
Caller : hello, I’m calling from ….i’m on the 16th floor
Me : Yes
Caller : I’m having someone come over now
Me: yes
Caller: could you please send them up?
Me : huh!!! ( doing, doing….whack, grrrrr) I think you need to call the gate security, you have gotten a residence. You can dial XYZ for that.
Caller : beep, beep, silence….

I agree I live on the ground floor, I agree I can see who comes into my block, I also agree I’m a very talkative person…but I ‘DO NOT DOUBLE UP AS SECURITY’
Will someone please understand????
There are days when I feel that the script for my life has been written by Salvador Dali or someone who has spent some time being suffocated by his clothes. (Once Dali almost died because his head was in a goldfish bowl and his breathing apparatus malfunctioned.) This was one of those days.

ps: I wholeheartedly accept that the title is inspired from Lionel Richie song ...but so what??!!!

Did I ever??

2009-06-20T18:24:00.006+05:30

I dont need a day to express what I feel for my dad,

I hardly try...I just do.

He's a special person and will always remain so

Here's a few lines i'd like to say to him

Did I ever thank you enough?
For all the times
When I was in my pigtails
Running down the rails

Did I ever thank you enough?
For the times
You held my gaze and smiled on
Not holding me back
But watching me grow

Did I ever thank you enough?
For those silent words
You sent across
Taught us to respect
And face the world

Did I ever thank you enough?
For all those wonderful moments
When my friends were made to feel
loved and respected
which for me was a very big deal!!

Did I ever thank you enough?
For guiding me too
For lending me those
little words of wisdom
that still sees me through

Did I ever thank you enough?
For showing me that
There’s more to life than what we see
That there’s laughter and happiness
And it is for us to feel.

Did I ever thank you enough?
For those beautiful cards
The ones you wrote so neatly
Letters flowed and I knew
There was much love in it.

Did I ever thank you enough
For making me what I am
For making me stronger
And making me see
That there’s more to discipline
And it is not just a need

Did I ever thank you enough
For the wonderful life
I have tried building
With all the snippets I watched
Unseen and unheard
But nevertheless handed down to me!

Thank you dad!
For just being you

You will always be dear to me

and I shall ever love you!!

For all the dads out here, i'd love to Wish you too...for the wonderful job you'll are doing at keeping the kids moist eyed and so precious for years to come. We love you, just the way you are!!!

Happy Father's Day!!!!

This songs for you

Blogg'ui- a state of being

2009-06-20T10:09:00.004+05:30

Preethi from here, had to do it. Get me out of the doldrums and keep me going…Like she mentioned, its been ages ( 2 months is pretty long don’t you think for a blogger) since I wrote anything. No reasons whatsoever. It was plain blogui ( laziness to put into words in the blog what I thought and felt) . There were many times, I’d sit down and start and then catch myself in another domain altogether : either chatting away, or surfing or just plain working.

Well coming back to the task at hand…PS tagged me ( I’m sure there are somemore in the hidden corners of others blogs…I’ll take time now and go through all my unread blogs and get back ). She did a great job there, so maybe you should just read mine with less excitement, ‘cos its just plain and regular.

She’s asked me to list out 5 things about myself…That’s a tough task for me..and that too , to get out of this vacant phase…but still its a good one…at least I’ll introspect and get those cobwebs out of that mind of mine.

So here it goes.....

I love people. And this ability of mine makes me a better person at accepting them for the way they are, with all their faults and goodness. I never judge anyone hurriedly, nor will I stand back and wait for the other to be friends. I do my best to be a friend. Everyway possible...listen, talk, help, be there for them, smile with them, cry with them, get foolish with them........

I am a very 100% person. If I can’t give my 100% in a task, I try not to take it up. I’m selfish that way…’cos I tend to get very stressed when I do take up something, and then not find time to complete it, so I work hard at keeping up to my commitments. It has worked against me many times, where I juggle with millions of tasks at a time, all because of what I believe in , but I have this immense satisfaction when I complete all of them .

I don’t get bored very easily. If I’m in a situation where I’m forced to wait endlessly, I’ll find myself something to do in the meanwhile. If I’m not carrying a book, I can watch people and just observe. I can just BE. So if anyone were to come and apologize for making me wait, I’ll just tell them, that they need not stress, cos I was enjoying myself. Try it, its fun. Don’t just sit there and whine about being held up…but watch people round you, watch the traffic and form your opinions…watch the ants on the sidewalk…but watch, observe ,enjoy and smile.,…

I love eating. I’m game to trying out any kind of food. I’m a foodie, and it shows on my face. Good food, and you’ll see me enjoying it and appreciating it thoroughly. This makes me very non-fussy..You can invite me over and give me whatever…I wont complain. I know this is a good trait, ‘cos I also know how it feels when a guest gets fussy and makes noises when invited for some meal.

Oooof!!! I am not good at talking about myself…so these few were very exhausting on my brains…I’ll leave the last pointer to you’ll…let me know what you think about me..i’ll gather those thoughts and smile through..

And with all the excitement I forgot to tag others... :P

So maybe these lovely people will take it up and let me know about themselves..

Madhumita ( She's such a warm person...and it would be nice to know her some more )

Shruthi ( She's on the marathon and also very pissed and maybe I can help her a bit )

xh : He's no more a lonewolf now, and maybe the partner needs to know him more now...)

preethi from Incessant Musings ( Let's give her a break from Cheeky shall we?? )

rayshma : (Its been ages and I want to know some more)

Lucid expressions!

2009-04-23T07:31:00.004+05:30

“The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them” said Stephen King...
If the windows to the soul ,mirrors your thoughts, will the eye ever be able to hide???

Eyes speak the language..and convey more than you want them to.
Did it matter ?? Read here to know.

Dilli Chali....

2009-04-10T08:14:00.017+05:30

It never fails to overwhelm me!!! Yes, thats the Taj!!! I was seeing it not for the first time, I knew what was to come, but I had waited for this moment ; one when my sons stepped over the huge gateway and into the small domed alcove, that would take one's breath away..and yes it did just that !! It is for me one of the most poetic structures one can ever witness!!

My older one just went : Wow!! ma! and the younger 'silenced' brat, ' awesome!' Yes that is how I started off my holiday. A trip to Agra, Delhi and Amritsar. Before I left, I was a wee bit worried, that ,my kids would go "so boring! , so?!! ". I was so thrilled when they were more eager than I ( I have seen it and of course knew all about the place). The small details, the lovely inlay work had them cooing and wow'ing all over. They made us take them on the tonga( the horse carraiges) rides, to the monument...not the bus for them. They walked all over, plain white paper in hand, made some lovely pencil rubbings of the textures on them. It really made me wonder, if we actually underestimate our kids and their quest for something new.

My son, had just studied all about Mughal history for his finals a few days before, of course with nothing making sense( They can't understand why they need to study something that has long gone past and if we actually need to?!!) . But these sandstone, marble fairytales, perked his interest. He could understand what they meant, when they said ' Diwan-e-aam' ,the detailing of the various artisans...the Persians who contributed their architectural knowledge, etc..One must visit the Taj and of course the Fort at Agra, to know what I mean here ,reading about them, doesn't justify the poetry...it takes your breath away!.

This was one trip I was looking forward to, not only because my sister lived there but I had to satisfy my taste buds, and experience all the quaint lil joints that one sees on the television or hears about. I trudged along, fragrances, flavours mingling with our olfactory senses, the Chandni Chowk, drooling over Ghantewala sweets , the Haldirams, the lassi joints, the chaats and fished out the teeny weeny lane that served you 'sinful, yummy and out of the world' parathas. .at the Paranthewale Galli. When I saw the paranthas being made in a small 3' * 3' space...I wondered what they could manage. The shops ( I wouldnt call it a hotel or restaurant...is a small 10ft by 12 ft space,teeming with customers, who gulp down parathas as if they were famished. I smiled as I entered..I had heard of this place ( thanks to the TV channels and its endless journeys through the country's culinary delights!), but when I saw the desi ghee used to drown the parathas, I gulped...there went my hopes of maintaining my weight..sat down and downed not one but 5 of those very tasty, surprisingly non-greasy, and light parathas. I finished off the marathon with a kela parantha and a rabdi ( gulp!! ) parantha...and I came out never feeling better...No wonder these Delhiites love their Delhi...

We also made a trip to Amritsar, where I feasted my eyes on the Golden Temple. Such amazing serenity envelops you when you enter this place, that it brought a lump to my throat. Beautiful and standing majestic in the centre of an expanse of the sarovar, pristine clean surroundings, inspite of catering to thousands and people thronging the the sarovar ...one would expect slush, mess, watered walkways....none of it...the scores of volunteers, are at it, cleaning up and drying down ...it humbles you.

One evening we taxi'ed ourselves to the Wagah Border , to watch the famed retreat . Wagah located 30 kms from Amritsar, brought forth such lovely emotions. Patriotic spirit set aside, (thats what it is meant to bring forth)...the sight of the LOC, stretches , something that I had heard so often and and read in the media, was real!! The ceremony itself was interesting, with the 2 countries distanced by just a gate!! The BSF men marching to orders, and bringing down the flag with such accuracy, that no, one flag inches lower than the other. The thousands of visitors, screaming themselves hoarse....It was a bit dramatic but still so hair-rising. I'm so glad I managed to make this trip. It was worth my time.

A lovely holiday packed with lots of memories, ones that brought a smile to my eyes, some that left a twinkle in the eyes of the children., some a lump in the throat, and others a feeling of sheer magic. I'm so glad I did this...its brought me back with such precious moments, ones that I will hold dear.

So much marble?!!!!

2009-03-14T09:55:00.002+05:30

Exams are done with !! And now I feel lost :(

Stress levels were high...No! it had nothing to do with studies...but it had everything to do with food, kids and their silly antics.
Don't know what it is that exams make out of them....seems like there is a hollow pit in their non-existent tummy. Normal days, they are full even before the food is placed in front of them., but come exams and they are hungry! All the time.

They start studying, and they want a break !!! They want something to eat, and whatever is offered, is not what they want..hrrmppfff. I know i'm ranting...but knowing that i've cooked and cooked , makes me growl..but of course, it doesn't show on them. Kids...Such sweethearts, I accept.

Sanity levels were dipping. The lil one was trying hard to write out a revision paper given by the school. It was a photocopied version, so ,but naturally very low on quality ( what do you expect if, 100's of copies have to be made !!), so some of the lines were faded and some were not visible at all..My young one, was trying hard to write, hard because, he can't sit in one place for lengths...and I mean 10 minutes max..!! so while he was furiously finishing off some illegible words, I turned around and asked him, why his letters were looking so sad :(.

He turned back to the sheet, peered into the paper and said ' Letters, why are you sad?"
I'm still waiting in silence, the giggle suppressed.

After a few seconds, he turnes back and says " They are sad, because they have no lines!!

"I say , " Oh! oh...thats bad, we need to cheer them up, lets give them some straight dark lines.."

He very smartly said.." its ok, they don't mind, let them be!!"
And here I am wondering if exams turn them into jesters...but one things for sure, there's never a dull moment when kids are around!!
Holidays have started, and its a long long one...Am taking off to Delhi, visiting my sister, and trying to show the kids all the handiwork the historical characters, dished out , just so that the generations to follow, have a way of spending their much loved vacations...Taj!! here I come!!

Just one word is enough!

2009-02-12T09:51:00.006+05:30

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it. ~Wilson Mizner

I got down from the auto last evening, and I had this simple thought to tell the driver that he drove really well. Amidst all the road rage, the abuses hurled at the passers by and the " they never go where you want them to " syndrome, I did just that. I told him "Neevu chennagi drive madthira"( you drive very well)...and then when I saw him give me a shy smile, I knew I was a happier person.This set me thinking.. ( at least the brains tried to function !)Tell me one person, who doesn't like being complimented. I'm sure there are always those who feel that giving out compliments need effort. Let me burst that bubble : IT DOESN'T

A few years ago, when my son was in junior school, his teacher made them do this small activity. She asked each of them to take a page, and write their name on the top of the sheet. She then passed it around and made each child put down one word or phrase he thought was apt for the boy whose name was written on top. At the end of the activity she gave the child his respective page with the entire list written in childlike and honest answers. My son still treasures that page. It had praises and some criticisms too. Some were funny and some very rude. But the lovely thing was, he loved it. He actually knew what his friends thought of him and he loved them for it.

Compliment someone with sincerity. They are simple, powerful and so relationship building. There are so many reasons to praise someone., but the most imoprtant one : It makes you feel good.Do you realise that when you compliment someone, you are just being honest, and you are connecting with the person directly and it isn't mixed up in this fast paced world, where work , speed, rage and stress takes over. Remember the Jadoo ki Jhappi, in Munna bhai...a compliment is so similar to that...it makes both feel good.
There are too many insincere compliments thrown around on a daily basis. A powerful compliment must come from your heart and be real.
There is no age limit to one who can be paid a compliment. Try telling a younger one, something nice...and see their smile light up, and when you step forward, you find that the smile has reached your eyes too.There are also many hidden benefits to giving compliments. It's amazing that such a small, simple skill like giving away compliments can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It will strengthen your relationships, boost your self-esteem, and increase your self-confidencePeople's positive traits jump out at you. Your thought processes shifts from looking for the worst in people to looking for the best. Being proactive spills over into your life. You see the possibilities, not the obstacles.

Remember the scene from "As good as it gets" ? Jack Nicholson in the restaurant scene. Watch it here
Don't know how and with whom to start? Let me help you, Anyone and everyone. Here's a list to get you started.

Yourself
Spouse/Partner
Children
Mother
Father
Sister
Brother
Boyfriend
Girlfriend
Close Friends
Employee
Coworkers
Grandmother
Grandfather
Teacher
Neighbor

Don't know what to say? Have you tried just

'You look beautiful'
you are so helpful
you are fun to be with
you speak so nicely
What you did was so nice ( I use this pretty often with my sons) They are so used to us parents always nagging or disciplining them, that such positive words help them out.
I don't know how to run my day without you ( I have this reserved for my maid : she's a great girl...and yes, I really miss her. She's quit the job 'cos she's gotten married. :( )

Five heartfelt, honest to goodness, acts of kindness. It costs nothing but a little time, energy, and the desire to make your life and the lives of others better. Compliments are defined as gracious words, given freely, which create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. They are based on the universal truth - everyone appreciates kindness.
Learning to receive a compliment graciously allows both the giver and receiver to feel good. Many of us have been conditioned to dismiss compliments. People who can't accept a compliment do so by deflecting the compliment, downgrading the compliment, or transferring the credit.
In order to accept graciously, all it takes is two words - Thank you. Just say a " Thank you"

I don't want to stop here, but of course i'd like to say this

Free Myspace Layouts

Sunshine on my shoulders!!!

2009-01-22T09:27:00.008+05:30

So much has happened since the last few weeks...and I just have not been able to sit down and bring to words, the thoughts that scramble through and past my fogged brain...Call it writer's block, bored brain, numb sense or just plain laziness....
Methinks, i'm just living up to that one single line in the detailing of my sunsigns....*You remember the ones Linda Goodman wrote, and we as kids would devour her lines...nodding our head for each and every line, drilling it into our heads that she wrote it, thinking just of us...how humble was that. Well to let you know.....Librans tend to get lazy, and when I say that word, it is in the full sense....even if the world is falling apart, I do not feel like moving an inch...and so, I didn't move.
But now I had to shake out of this chilled finger mode and come over here....because, being honest ( which I always have been) I was missing this space, all you wonderful people and such lovely warmth...so here I am -

Lots happened while I was lazing around...too much in fact
My son decided to just hand me the tag of 'being a mom of a teenager'...and wow!! before I say it aloud, I think I better learn to hold my tongue in check and learn the Art of Patience..Its not easy staying quiet, but I know I need to. I need to learn to let go, to let him learn and make his mistakes. I need to learn how to stop myself from putting out my hand when he's crossing the road..Its tough, 'cos its his hand that comes out now...fast and confident. The first time he did that, I stood rooted on the spot staring at him , and my eyes glossed out..yes, it is tough. Its not every day, that we get to see the leading footsteps.
He's been everything to me. My comfort zone and my learning package. he's been at the other end of the screaming court...he's been patient. Yes, he screams too...but its because he's been poked and prodded by his mother who he thought would always take his side.
He's taught me that, in spite of the 'oh! i'm cool, exterior, he still needs to look around and find me standing there watching out for him...he knows I wont give up so easily. I'm sure he likes it too, but he's never gonna admit it. I love it too. It helps me watch and learn.
I don't know what this whole teenage bruahua is all about...they are just the same little children, with the same wonderful heart, trying to come out of the coccoon, their parents helped build.
I pray that his flight into this world is as breazy as it looks, and as simple and loved as it should.
I hope that he has the strength to be as honest as he has been and to never learn how to be judgemental.
I'd like to stretch out my hand to bless him, and wish lots of love, strength and happiness while he trudges along the various roads of life.

You know what makes it difficult to hide your tears ,when a child whose hands match the grown up bigness of your hands, and whose foot size drowns your own feet, ?? Its when he comes up to you and says " Ma!! Thanks for everything" . Its tough.

Listening to "Sunshine on my shoulders " by John Denver

Grappling with guilt

2008-12-29T17:11:00.005+05:30

At times I feel helpless...never know how to react to someone when they tell me their loved one passed away..
Its tough . The other person is hurting, no amount of what we say is going to change the way they feel. We cannot replace their lost one...each one has his place on this earth, and only they can give it value. Niether you nor I can fill that shoe.
When you know a person, whoever he is connected to makes us feel connected. I might never have met the person, nor might I meet him ever...but still we hurt.
How do we take our minds of the guilt, when thoughts come echoing back to us. " Could I have helped?"
"If I had just given him more money, maybe he could have used it? " ( but were we to know how soon it would be needed.
" If only I had met up and had lunch together"
So many ifs...but there is only one answer...
it didn't happen...and thats why we are asking the if?

Why do we get so ridden with such guilt. It can be stifling at times.
My driver's father passed away today. And i'm sitting here chewed up with guilt. If only I hadn't asked him to come this morning to take my son for his early morning practice., maybe he would have gotten those extra few hours with him.
But I really didn't know he would go away without recovering, and neither did my driver tell me. Each time I asked of his dad, he would say , he was on the way to recovering.
Was I being too presumptious?
Was I too selfish??
God!! this can be killing.

It’s funny how death changes ones perspective to thinking. Life, an energy dome, fails to teach us half the things that an event like a death can…

HO HO HO HO....MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL

2008-12-25T11:21:00.001+05:30

carols

Resolve to solve :)

2008-12-21T13:25:00.007+05:30

If only the old year could be thrown out of our minds...life could have been easier...the happenings eclipse what went by...hopefully it will bring on new hopes and new cheer in the new year to follow.
Last year has had its moments....memorable ones for me to cherish and some that i'd rush to forgive but not forget...i'd like to make a difference.

The holiday season has begun in full force.. ( How else would you explain, noise, muck, sand on the bathroom floor??!!!! )
They say that Christmas is a season of giving...it need not necessarily be gifts in the material sense...we can also give each other, love, peace, smiles and most important of all the time for another..
But I have never been able to understand that inspite of us making such statements about not bothered about receiving gifts.. " Its the thought that matters"...lines thrown oh so often...why is it that when one gives a gift.. our eyes light up like the stars...and sparkles and the smile stays glued all along...yes!! thats because it is fun getting a gift...I love gifts...but yes, I'm not very fussy....if one were to give me a Porsche instead of the BMW, I wouldn't complain, honest. Tell me one person who doesn't like seeing that beautifully packed ( even if the packing is all crooked, in an old greasy newspaper...) , gift with a ribbon sitting next to one's pillow, or on the kitchen cabinet..tell me...are you one of them???

Along with gifts...this year ( just like every year :) ...wonder why the trend never changes...) I follow the gang..and try to make a new year resolution..half heartedly knowing full well, the resolution will be forgotten even before the last guest leaves the TV channels...where does the 'follow the resolution' come into the picture?????

This year is no different..I've started early.. ( and blogged about it too ;) , so that I don't forget...and all you peoples out there can direct me back here with that cruel grin)
I've listed out a few resolutions...i'd love to follow through ( now I havent said, I will , mind you ;) )

1. I'm going to get into shape...I know the battle with the bulge is a long term one...but i'm going to at least start by walking past the gym every morning...if the time permits in between procrastinating, i'll even enter the gym :D .
There I said it..
Heard of the runners euphoria??
( A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." -- Neil P. Budge)
well i'm going to have the gymmers euphoria!! All days of the week....

2. I'm going to spend some more time with my family : cliched ain't it?? well...what else do you expect from a mother of two...if one is away the other takes care to see his mother doesn't miss the other... all for being a family :(

...but got to tell you they are adorable...and I love them to bits...
I'll ignore the ball knocking on the bat 24/7 with the TV on, and them mouthing the song "Desi Girl" along with their mp3 players....I'll smile along...

I watched this great video ( if you don't watch it...you'll be missing something)and now I know how I actually look and sound to the kids.... :P
Should thank Preethi from Just a mother of two for that link...its brilliant...and so ME...

3. I resolve to work with neglected people....I 'll start with my own kids followed by the husband. Poor guy is always " i'll give them break fast and then you can have yours...i'll put them to bed, and then...." so poor guy...he really needs looking after.

4. I resolve to swim everyday...once the weather gives the lovely bright yellow round ball of gas up there permission to start shining brighter...there should be a law passed for us Bangaloreans...all pools should be heated...or at least warmed up...its cruelty to human life. ...so until then, i'll just sit by the pool side and watch the water make waves :D

5. I will try to figure out how I can remember all the passwords for the umpteen forums I get into...without changing it zillions of times...i've run short of ideas... and can't even remember the answer to vague questions only they can come out with?? :(

6. I will eat out more...i'm tired of cooking. And when I get back from eating out, i'll not crave for the bowl of rice that is sitting on the kitchen counter..i'll be happy and content with the greasy food that is dished out to me...i'll stop trying to find what ingredient went into each dish...hoping I can make a similar one next time at home..without the grease...

7.I'll stop making new year plans that always start with a trip to Kosa mui, travels to Bali, then onto Macau....what nots... and eventually ends up in a Bengaluru backyard...ok...last year I did manage to fit in Goa...but one can't be lucky every year, can they?!!!

8. I will read every blog that shows an update within the same day itself..and if it doesn't show an update i'll go and see what makes them stay that long without posting...I shouldn't be making the same excuse can I??

9. I will stop procrastinating.....

10. My last one...ten I think is way too much....so i'll stop here...
The last one is to be flexible...way more than what I am...
i'll keep all the top 9 in the list flexible...that is a great start isn't it?

Wish all of you a great time, ending this year 2008...bring in the new year without a bang...we've had enough of it already....just learn to be happy with what you have...but be always ready to learn more...put out your hand to help even if it means you have to stop a minute in between your task...
BRING ON THAT SMILE...
and let that Smile reach your eyes...and help it twinkle...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS ..

I don't know what!!

2008-12-13T10:10:00.003+05:30

Has there been a time in your life when you feel lost...not the lost in thoughts...but just LOST. You don't know what you feel or don't know what you want? All you know is that you're feeling
"I don't know what".
Sometimes I feel i'm missing something or someone, but can never pin it down. At times like these, I just pick up the phone and call a friend..it works all the time...trust me.
When i'm in a mood that can be dangerous for friends....I just call my sister...she's my sounding board...solid one at that...( though she's a year younger) But when you can actually complain and criticize the same people and have a similar opinion..or just find faults with some system...it feels cathartic. I don't come away from the call , with any kind of surefire solution..but the few laughs, the small whines and the endless " non worries" helps.

Still there are times, when I find myself listening to soothing chants of music. I'm not fussy....I'd love to listen to any kind. It could be very repetitive recitals of or chants of shlokas....it could be the lilting tunes of instruments...( The ones that say they remind you of winds, mountains, rivers...) sometimes just the lovely , lively and amazing carols can just lift the spirits....after all "HO HO HO" is not gurgled out for nothing...

Sometimes, there is a that most healing hug from a friend- a hug that is not romantic or comforting, but can put you and the friend into an amazing state of ease.....feeling way better?!!
Right now amidst exam chaos, and endless mommy duties and some no use duties too and even wondering where those last 12 months went whizzing past...I find myself yearning to get back to those days when, school christmas time was all about partying, singing carols, practising for school plays and then giving gifts...it was fun..
it was therapeutic and all the more it was pure unadulterated magic of just BEING.
Next week, my kids start Christmas vacation and this time the sound of a holiday with nowhere to go, but just sitting at home chilling out....sounds lovely relaxing and plain stressfree..( crossing fingers behind the back)I'm going to just do that...do nothing that has to be planned...

And when I did hear this..my " don't know what mood" did actually soar..listen
slow but just awesome to lift those dead feet

The Banana Boat Song - Harry Belafonte

Que Sera Sera....

2008-12-06T12:19:00.006+05:30

When we are growing up, there are all the fisheyed people ( one's who look so down on your small puny frame!) asking you"Putta, neenu BIG adhmele, yaenaagthiyaaa??? " ( lil girl, what do you want to be, when you grow big???)I'm sure the time trusted answers would have been lisped out
"Doctor- as long as the play set is intact"
Engine driver- a favourite amongst kids...( the sounds and the endless trips to the railway station , to just standthere while the engine chugs in(psst...I even went for a long ride in the engine on the way to Delhi once..)
Mechanic- How else can they explain their love for dirt, grease and ichak pichak...
Kids nowadays of course have even more varied options...what with so many opportunites creeping into their lives through media...our media then was "word of mouth - one friend would talk in low whispers and say- "hey, you know what -aa..her daddy is a -----" and then our dream world would spin its own stories..."It used be the parents who would even then answer in monosyllables..."mmm- "Media then would be the colourful posters, with really good artwork on the underbridges..." one did read- consult a sex-expert- for any problums related to se" and then you should know what could have happened "
Appaaaa...what is sex???" Hahhaa....those words still have an impact on me...I'm in the firing line now...and I now know and wholly understand why my dad would assume the " busy watching the roadsigns or directions" look back then...( Thankfully, we never said, "I want to be that" --- I might not have been writing here or even thinking about it ...)
The present scenario is far different...we can become anything we aspire for. The world has progressed to that now. Its a blessing and yet so refreshing. Its not longer LS (low society) to be a Bsc or BA graduate..there are opportunities.But wait....
Did you ever wonder what you could have become, if not what you already are???
I now know the umpteen options I could have had...
With my full name, I have beenp roudly given the title of
" BRAIN EATER"
Rally Car driver
Commisioner and many more fun things...and when I read it...it actually feels good...I still have time..'cos the last one actually said this to me.. " ANYTHING BUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW" LOL!!!! Priceless...
What do you think you could have done in your life??

and do let me know what you would have become :)

Is it easy?

2008-12-01T10:23:00.010+05:30

Is it easy ?
To overcome :

The empty feeling that filled my being, long after the household had gone to sleep, unaware of the fear that it instilled in me. It was easy to switch off the media. But to overcome the impact of the cries, the staccato sounds, of gunfire

To overcome the hollowness, one feels, the feeling of helplessness. Yes, none of us could do anything, but pray, wring our hands and pray harder.

To overcome the amazing sense of gratefulness, for all the black clad, young, well built sons, who had their family biting their nails off, knowing this was what their men had set out to achieve, but not knowing if they will sit by their side one day, And how?!

Can I overcome, the knowledge that the very men in power, wield their mikes as if it was their fluted glasses."Such small incidents" they say, **When asked at a press conference whether the terror strike was an intelligence failure, Patil said in Hindi: "Aisa nahi hai. Itne bade shahar mein chhota hadsa ho jata hai. To total failure nahi hai. (It is not like that. In big cities like this, small incidents do happen. It's is not a total failure.)"** 'cos they are snuggled safe in the knowledge that their kin was maybe safe at home, sipping masala chai...What if it were to be their own???

If the people crying out aren't their own, why seek their votes...
How to overcome the scenes that left their impact long after the world had cast their opinions. How can the parent overcome the loss, the families who are left asunder...
what should have been a night of fun, peace and relaxation..turning out to be a nightmare.

To overcome the near ruins that the beautiful building, that the Taj Hotel once was!

Can we overcome the need to blame?
To overcome the need to reach out but know not how!
To overcome the smaller details- wear a white shirt, light a candle, run a marathon
To overcome, the misery and depression one is left with
We sit out here...far away, thinking we are safe..but didn't the one's who were affected also think the same?
How to overcome the anger-That leaves you drained out.?
To overcome the disgust that makes us aware how poorly equipped we are in the form of proper equipment for those very men who are out trying to save our lives.
It is the time to overcome but not forget, to work toward building a stronger nation...physically, mentally and yes...
Enough talk of Mumbaikar's spirit...that's not reason enough for the ruthless men on a mission to let loose their brains and everything sensible behind.
When one of the arrested terrorists said " I want to live" what did he think, his victims, didn't want to live??

Teach the terrorists
To overcome
anger and violence.
But most of all to overcome
HATRED!

P.S Came across this at a friend's.so if anyone is interested...have a look
http://smallchange.in/

Prescription doses!!

2008-11-20T10:12:00.006+05:30

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

A hug, a loving glance, a simple thank you.

The holding of hands, the fleeting kiss.

The child's unfailing trust in the mother,

A parent's never ending need to see their child smile.

So many simple moments that bring on that smile.

A misunderstanding between friends, ones who never knew ,the need for permissions. Ones, who always were there for each other. Times when reality blended into memories, loved and cherished.

A misunderstanding breaks it apart.....stretches the distance, and life goes on...leaving behind many more hurt souls...their friends and loved ones....caught in the web of uncertainty. Pulled between two people they will always love, and have never wanted to see them grow apart.

Time heals they say...but what is the recommended dose, no one mentioned??

wish they did...

Reminds me of this story :
"Let's say you accidentally chop off your finger while preparing dinner. If you get to the doctor in time, the finger can be re-attached and there is a high chance you can regain most of the finger's functionality, albeit with a little scarring. However, if you leave it and take your time to get to the hospital, the finger becomes permanently severed and the damage thus becomes permanent."

'cos such are the great moments, which will be cherished, beautifully wrapped...when one of the friends is willing to stretch out their hand...its truly a loved moment.

Have you had a such a moment??

Smile and the world smiles with you!! :)

2008-11-14T08:18:00.008+05:30

For all the children, whose minds are so pure, thoughts are so fresh...

For all the mother's whose brains get refreshed

every second, thanks to the lovely children

For all the grandparents whose childhood

springs to life, at the very sight

of the children flitting across like butterflies!

For the influences, that scatter across the world,

the media, the cartoons,

the much misunderstood computer games

The never cease to amaze, playstations, gameboys...

They make my child smile, they make my child run

I thank the influences, without which

i'd have no stories to spin

Every evening while I wait

for that moment, when the van gets into the gate

I search amidst dirty faces, and browned hands

The most wonderful sight

The sight of that one lovely smile

The grin that tells me to forget

the bad that went by and look forward

to the most amazing of all creation

CHILDHOOD!!!

This i'd like to say and wish

HaPPy ChILbrEN'S D a Y!!!

save that child in you...its far more precious!!

And just to bring back some childhood memories, and for all those who might not have seen this

Must watch

Ek Chidiya - Awesome Cartoon Video - More free videos are here

First or the second course??

2008-11-11T10:08:00.007+05:30

Times when you scream but no voice comes out....that happens only in my dreams....

In my house my voice always comes out , loud and clear, crystal clear. Of course after a few lines it whimpers down to a croak...and all my rantings get reduced to a sad whimper. Thats what happens when you are surrounded by 2 brats and one who has a mind which runs off to the Himalayas and the other who behaves like one in the deep blue sea...

I'm still trying to decide whether its better to choose the devil or the deep blue sea....
And when the block in the brain hits you, I sit back and enjoy my chai....
and rant...

I've had a hectic post- Diwali week.
First it was a wedding in the family...by the last day, my older one was screeching and hiding under the table..." No more yele( meals on banana leaves) , Can you please give me something to eat before I go" . The younger one...( apparently assumes he was born with a spoon..no not the silver spoon thingy...but the real one...)Each time they laid out the leaf, he would go " I'm not eating that with my hand"...and I would be rolling my eyes, and clinging on to the Kanjeevaram, for fear of the payasam dripping out of the fingers on to the silk....and all the while the guys who served food, would hover over me...assuming my sons were underfed by the overenthu mother...

How I wish, we had a bring your own lunch for weddings...(it would solve all harassed mother's problems with feeding their cranky children)

I realised what a farce the whole scene of the wedding crowd was. All the while the harassed groom and bride would bend stretch and seek blessings...the opposite end the priest would be trying over the loud din and noise of the gossipy guests.
The wedding gave me a good time for retrospection..
The various rituals they organise, are so over board, sometimes I wonder if people even know the meaning.
There is this part where after the mangalsutra is tied, the elderly guests are given a handful of rice, to be showered ( mind you....shower, meaning...gently with good wishes) on the newly wed couple. But what do I see....

at the precise moment when the ceremony is conducted..there is a loud " nadaswara, nadaswaraaaa..." with some hand signalling too...the Nadaswaram peaks to high volume..the guests...most of them, chatting away happily " Nenne, namma pakadh maneli, ondhu dodDa vishya aiythu gotha??" (Yesterday, in our neighbouring house, one big event happened, you know?)...and all the while they just throw the rice grains over the persons ahead..showering the crowd...whats the point...

One factor's discussing the varities of food offered while the other is discussing the arrangements. But how I wished, they would sincerely wish the couple and their family.

There was so much wastage in the dining hall, it made my heart bleed. What does one lose to refuse a dish, if he cannot eat it. Stretch out that hand and refuse...shake your head, and say " No" but for heaven's sake don't waste food.
When you walk out and see the street children scavenging through the garbage from the kitchen,i'd rather that they gave some food, fresh and full.
Would you like to eat such food....think of them too. They are human after all.

I asked my son to just take what he wanted and could eat...so even if it meant one dish, it was ok by me. At least he was happy, he didn't waste precious morsels of food and there was no arguments of " Finish the whole thing and then get up". It would just end in arguments and sulking kids.
For a person who eats at weddings, i'm sure you know the agony one feels after the first few courses...
So go on eat, but please think of the leftover food that the young kids on the street eat straight out of the used leaves, from the dustbin...
Please. Give a thought to them.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

2008-10-25T19:52:00.007+05:30

Diwali is a time for fun, colors, lights, food, sinful sweets, and some more food...

I remember when I was a kid, I would be rudely woken up at an unearthly hour with a loud bang, right opposite my window. It deafened my senses much to my horror...I would get so angry...I needed my sleep...crackers could go to hell for all I cared...but I loved the festival.
Traditional, new clothes, yummy food, sweets all made at home...more than half a dozen varieties...the joy was evident in the smiles and the guests who dropped into the ever welcoming house.

Now I pray, that no kids, scream, in anger from their beds, while my sons, go down in their new clothes, after their oil massage and baths...eaten the traditional lehiya, a small dash of haldi and kumkum still on their new clothes...while they dash across, down to burst that customary, patakha...yes, unearthly meant, they had to be the first in the complex, so they were willing to wake up even at 3 if it meant it had to be done....
aND since we had a lot of like minded ( I want to be the first) kids in the complex, we would have more than one patakha going BHOOOM....
And the gush of the flower pots....the dark inky blue sky lighting up with the sparkling stars and rainbow colored strings of the flower pot. It does bring a smile...
The festival taught my kids many things...

Sharing - they would bring down their carton filled with crackers, and then go on to shar it with all their friends..it was so heartening to see, and to watch.

Concern and respect for the elders...They would see that all the senior citizens got to sit in the lobby, and safely away from the noise...

The camarederie with which all the kids and adults would join together 2 weeks before the festival...sprucing up the building. Making lanterns and decorations, all with stuff from the homes...no ready made lanterns, for them. Each and every child, would join in...it was amazing how well they could create. All they needed was some guidance which the parents would give, and some push....which they would get by seeing other kids at work...The decorations that went up the day before Diwali was a sight to watch....the rangoli, the diyas...specially painted by them...it was indeed memorable.

As Diwali approaches...i'm yet again busy making some of the traditional stuff...one is the lehiya...
we do get the ready made ones...but the fragrance one gets from the fresh herbs...and ghee...hmmmm So I always make this at home..and this marks the beginning of the festival...

So I thought i'd post the recipe here :

Deepaval Lehiya. (a medicinal paste made out of roots and herbs) All the ingredients are available in the indian herb stores, or Grandhige angaDi as one would see here in good ole Bangalore.

Omam (ajwain) -100g,
sukku( dry ginger) -10g,
Kandathippili (Kandathippili is available as 2-3 inch long sticks in herbal stores/grandige in the south) -10g,
Black pepper - 10g,
Jeera 2 tbspns ,
Cardamom - 4-6,
nutmeg - 1 piece,
almonds- 10
jaggery - 1 cup
ghee-1/4 cup
honey - 50g.
water - 1 cup

Heat all dry ingredients lightly, powder in a mixie. Sieve it, and powder it again.
Add water and grind to fine paste.
Heat a kadai, add the ghee. Add the paste and stir it till it thickens add honey before taking it off the heat, and stir for a few minutes more.
Stir until it thickens into a halwa like consistency.
Take it off heat. After it cools, you can store it in an airtight container for a few days.

This medicinal paste is eaten (1 tspn) after the traditional oil bath.
It is supposed to have excellent digestive properties..so i'm sure the elders had their mind set on eating the very sinful delicacies...and knew how to tackle it much before they started the day.

With this I'd like to wish everyone who drop in here
A VERY HAPPY DEEPAVALI

Journey of discovery

2008-10-21T10:01:00.003+05:30

The life of a woman is just not without its hiccups. Let me assure you, it has nothing to do with facing the bad elements who always presume they are god's gifts to mankind.
It has nothing to do, with the weights. She can always hire a handy man to do those odd jobs...and now she's come up with some really neat solutions..

This issue has germinations in her own household.
The problem sometimes get solved, when the offender is given an ultimatum " Do not wake up till the children leave to school" Yes, I feel supremely satisfied after saying that. But what happens when all leave at the same time??!! You just watch a yoga session in grainy ants infested( my sons opinion) channels, early morning on TV, and act as if you don't exist.
Whats with the men?!!!! I have never been able to understand. And when we fret and fume to our dear friends all I hear is, 'oh!! in your house too???'

The orchestra every morning has become so monotonous. I thought if I did the bringing up and taking care, the kids would turn out the way I wanted...but they were made out of different ribs, i'm convinced.

Each morning, I still resort to the same old "What are you doing in the bathroom for so looooonggg???
Its nearly an hour and there are other's who need to use the bathroom too.""
"Your bus will leave you and go away"
The driver is here already and you still haven't stepped out"

Only to have them come out after another half hour and smirk and say
" HUh!, what do you expect us to do in the bathroom, whatever everyone else does, but naturally, eh!! hmpfff"

Now my older son has inherited the same qualities and very well too. Talk about genetics!!!
But must say they are very talented so to say.

They really know how to use every inch of the perfectly dry bathroom. ( And when I complain about the wet floor, they say, "how can you? I wonder if you even use water?!"
They just never heard of dry, semi-dry and wet areas, obviously.
So when they are done , the steam seems to follow them like Casper does..
The mirror is all ghostly ( with my son, he would have written some very attitude driven stuff too " R rocks" before walking out).
Oh yeah!!! he sure does. And thats the reason when I step into the room, I can't see anything and so step into a wet towel, or maybe if i'm in the unlucky day category slip slide across on the soap, on the floor... Why can't they just place it back in the soap dish??? beats me!!!

I'm glad the newspaper lands at my doorstep very early and before the hubby wakes up...I can read most of it, before it journeys into the loo, and gets a very fitting farewell ( Sometimes) there. ( 'Cos the maid doesn't read the newspaper, and doesn't bother to keep it outside either, before washing the bathrooms so to say! :( )

Cleaning up the mess after them ( How else would wet towels get taken off beds and put into the washer!!), getting ready after them( in record time)...and all they have to say is ...
"You women, have no sense of time"

Men!!!!!

cleanse....wash....sanitize

2008-10-16T17:26:00.005+05:30

South Indian meals, I know when eaten in restaurants, in those fancy , silverware....dont have half the excitement. The yummy taste of rasam and rice, or the roti and sabzi...mmm....yummy tastes and each corner of India having their own style of eating.

But yes, eaten with bare hands, the food does taste different, sometimes not matching the taste when eaten with spoons and forks...But do you ever remember to wash that hand of yours before you sit down at the table????
Sometimes in some restaurants , the mouth freshener ( saunf) is given to customers along with the bill. How many times have you dived into it as soon as it arrives...., take a toothpick and chew on some more of that sweet tasting saunf ( fennel)? I'm sure many times...and the temptation is just not avoidable after a heavy Indian meal.

But have you ever wondered, how many people who visit the restaurant, stop by the loo, in between meals or even after, and walk out. Many do not have the habit of washing their hands or sometimes, most of the restaurants are so badly fitted, there might not be water...so out they walk....and sit down and wait for their bill to arrive. And when the bill arrives, they dive into their mouth freshener, not bothered to using the spoon provided ( sometimes they aren't provided too)...can you imagine the amount of germs that have been transfered?????

Did you know??!!! :-

Did you know that an estimated 1 out of 5 people don't wash their hands after using the restroom? In 2005 the American Society for Microbiology did a survey of hand washing. They asked people questions about their hand-washing habits and also watched people in public restrooms. The results were kind of gross.

For example:
People don't always wash their hands after using the bathroom — 91% of adults say they always wash their hands after using public restrooms, but just 83% were seen doing so.
People wash their hands less at home — 83% say they wash their hands after using the bathroom at home. Germs are germs, and a bathroom is a bathroom.

Only 32% of people in the survey said they wash their hands after coughing or sneezing. So it's nice that you protect the people around you by covering your mouth with your hand when you cough. But if you then reach for your friend's pizza, you might as well not have bothered.

Just 21% wash their hands after handling money.

Only 42% of the people in the survey washed up after petting a dog or cat. You've seen your dog roll in that mystery smell in the park or your cat rub against you after using the litter pan. Fido and Fluffy are dirtier than you think.

(courtesy)

Yesterday was Global hand washing day( so does that mean, the rest of the days, we go without washing hands??? :O ) and i'd like to threaten one and all 'please wash your hands before and after eating, and so also...when you visit the restroom....the others who sit down after you are human after all.....'

These kind of days will surely put a hole the size of a crater in my wallet, ..'cos they have only said wash your hands....and not when...so my house is gonna be all confused...read here to know why??

Now I wonder what the next weird day is gonna be???
Why can't there be days where there is some progress in thinking and some betterment for the society??!!! Is it that hard??

Maybe in the meantime, we should declare -

No Nose picking day

Leave the crotch alone, you men!! day?

Don't make noises to bring the moon down while eating day???

No mobile phone day :D !!!!..

Women, stop gossipping day :) !!

What do you think?? Will any day be spared at all???

Meanwhile if its washing hands, you might as well watch this...

Is it right?

2008-10-14T18:14:00.008+05:30

A very weird thing I heard on a radio FM station this morning. Normally I don't pay attention, but the songs keep playing and gives me the much needed musical background to the otherwise mundane household chores. But this morning, this perked me up. It was a program in which the RJ calls up someone ( on the callers request) and he gives the RJ a number to which they call and ask, or question or nearly spy on the other person. I found that a very eerie kind of a program. Firstly...why would I as a listener want to know what another person is doing or not doing in his life???? I dont want to know at all...but added to this misery, i'm supposed to also listen in to the pairs squibbling over petty matters or answering a suspicious girl/boy friend...beats me why I would want to know???

But today, the call made me wonder...I actually listened.

The scenario goes like this :

A father calls up the radio station, and tells the RJ that his son has been wanting to go on an excursion, and had asked him for
an amount of 1000 rs. He hadn't given it to the son ( reasons were not told on air). That morning, after the son left to go out, the father checks his wallet and finds money equalling 1000rs missing. He calls the radio station and wants the RJ to check on
the son, ( as per the show, ) .The RJ calls up the son, posing as the travel agent..and asks him top cough up the money within the following half an hourTo which the boy replies that he has the money on him and he would be there soon.At this point, the call changes hands to the father, and we can hear the father asking the son on AIR!!! about the missing money, etc..

This was so eerie and weird for me. Isn't the relationship between a parent and child very fragile and precious too?After this episode, the son can never face his peers who might have listened in, but also his own parents. There will be a feeling of shame and also hate...not because his father caught him ...but because he was on air with the public listening in.

I'm sure the situation could have been handled in a better way. Not all parents can provide for their children so easily...It is upto them, to make the children understand in a very ncie way, about the financial situation in their lives.

Many times when we as parents face such a situation, it is very difficult sometimes to saya 'NO' to the child. But I have realised it is far easier on the child to explain things as it is. And amazingly children are very sensitive and inspite of all their mischief, disobedience and problems....they are still your own child. And as a parent I think it is our responsibilty to see that the child learns from goodness and also from example.

I really hope parents really deal with such situations in a much more pleasant way. I do not transfer the entire blame onto the parent, the child is also responsible. But this could have easily been avoided.

This article also tells how this situation can be dealth with...
What do you'll think?
Was the father right in reacting such a way?

When the face smiled back at me....

2008-10-12T19:30:00.007+05:30

Ages ago, when I got my first book, I read the preface first...then turned pages to read on about the author. I have still not been able to understand why I followed that procedure. At an age when kids normally either read the last page first ( to know the gruesome end to a mystery novel!!) or the blurb first, to get the feel of the book or better still to know part of the story before you decide on buying the book or borrowing what ever it may be. The ritual carried onto all books , and I still do that. I always wanted to know how an author looked. It somehow put the book into perspective.

The first books that I read..( the Enid Blyton) had nothing much about the author, but I knew who it was, though never knew how she looked though. For a while I used to think the author also was young like I was..( ya!!! smirk for all you can!)

Then one day, much later, while I was reading a Mills and Boon...( oh yes!! I love them and I shamelessly accept it.) I found that the author was as young as I was..ahem!!! hmpfff..and I had this 'speech-dream bubble' running in my mind, I was writing a book. Ha!!!!! I later realised...it was not that easy, as it looked or was read. I stuck to reading and looking at the photographic profiles of the authors and used to be so thrilled for them.

Little did I know, years later, I would be reading a book and the picture of the author on her profile would bring about a knowing smile. The smile of pride and one of utmost happiness. Yes!!! I knew this one author, and knew her not personally having met , but knew that she had seen herself dream and live upto her convictions. I did smile, when I walked into the book store. I wanted to pick up the book and read the blurb ( though, I knew what it already held) , turned the page and saw her(PS) picture, smiled back at the smiling face( first thing I did after opening the book), and billed it, not wanting to read the book, but just wanting to absorb the environment of the day. The event of her book launch, in the bookstore "Crossword" . I came in with no expectations, just like I would any book. But I wanted to see how people reacted to her launch. Don't we all do that when we are present at a close friends event. Yes!! I did that too. I just wanted to remain quiet and watch the whole thing. Wanted to feel the warmth, the readers who had come to witness the event spread. The pride of her family, ( you should have been there to see the pride in her husband's and her children's face) and her own amazing confidence.
I have come away from the book launch of "Preethi's 34 Bubblegums and Candies" feeling very proud, proud that a dear friend has achieved what she dreamt of. Proud that she, despite many negative criticsms didn't bow down to such pressure , proud that she holds her head high, high enough for her children to see that all it needs is "Belief in oneself", and her husband to know that his support was one of the most important things that a wife needs when she sets out to do something that is important to her. ( For someone who isn't married, I'd like to say, that whatever we do as wives, we always look for that small bit of approval and support from the spouse, and it is very important to us.). I walked away with bookmarks made by her son and daughter. I had read the thought that had gone into making them, and must say, those bookmarks I will always hold dear...they are special.

For those who like reading, I'd like to say, " Go Ahead and buy this one...It sure is gonna hold onto you" and if you don't like reading books, 'cos of the bulk, let me assure you, its such easy reading, small stories, and " hey, this sounds like my life" , you will love reading after this.
So go ahead, the bubblegums and candies are there for you to choose.

Back to bloggin and picking up my limbs and voice ...

2008-10-06T15:06:00.005+05:30

So I went on a holiday!!! a few days away from the noise and madness, the phones, and cooking...Yes..that was a big one for me...no cooking!! Don't we all moms love that a break from cooking, waking up early and then just chilling out,

This was a holiday with a difference..I spent more energy here than I would have at home...
whoever said I would relax, needs to do this ..a few days out in this beautiful place called Kurumba resorts on the Ooty Coonor stretch.

It all started when we missed the first board which announced big and loud to the world whizzing past it( except us.!!!)...only to realise that the path leading downnnnn to the resort was right next to it and we have zoomed past....and now have to go beyond, to the next bend or else no holiday no break :(.

We reach the path back again...and wow!!! smiles and yipppeeess...but what happened???
The driver not too happy with the road going down. Says its just 4 kms ( actually only 2 and half) and we can easily eh!!!! walk it down...what about our luggage?!!....huge ones to include the kids, and the immense energy they have carried with them all the way from Bangalore...

All our requests not successful. The driver looks like one stubborn ox...reminding me of the Dudu basavanna they would bring to our doorstep during some season...and the man with the lanky, slim , animal would say " AaDu, Basava..(dance, " And the victimized cow..or bull would go shaking its head ...left right ,left right. The driver just did that...
" oh, oh, no way will this vehicle go down..."

So off we went...a couple of us( many children to give us support...)...trudging along...cooing and aawwing at the beautiful green...even the grass on the side, looked lovely..the trees did their jig to see us too...really, i'm not lying!!!!. After 3 kms...we reached the wow!! resort . Only to find our cottage was way down ...many steps to go and a few steep pathways to roll down on....

We loved it...the kids all the more. We went rolling, hauling our weary legs all around. The kids had some kind of an unending energy dome...they kept exploring, jumping down rocks, the dry stream bed....and were asking for moreand more and more..It was just impossible to ignore that call for fun.

They have a lovely idea of a typical chai kada...with the works, by the pool side for the evening tea time. A small thatched hut , selling tea and coffee in an authentic coffee percolator..glass bins for the tea bikis and some oily rubbery bhajjis( this I didn't like, but enjoyed the fun eating and dripping oil..lol). BUt what made the place and idea more interesting was the aura it spread around it. An evening by the pool, sipping hot masala chai, lounging around on the lawns, or sitting on their rustic cane chairs...it was indeed so relaxing...if we chose to blind ourselves to the kids climbing rocks and jumping and screaming around...

Eid was celebrated while we were there, and the dinner was exhaustive...6 types of biryanis, yummy desserts, making us wonder if were were in a resort or some food festival. The guys from the resort had dressed up as typical Hyderabadi Muslims, burkha et all....to add to the novelty, and I must have gained a few extra kilos just looking at the food...I wont tell you how much I ate though...after all it was a holiday and on vacation we are allowed to go the full length...and so did I...

This place was filled with trees of nutmeg, clove, bayleaves. Of course for us city birds this was haven. There were some giant malabar squirrels to add to the exotica too.

But considering that our rooms were way down the steep slopes and we had to make hundreds of trips in each day, we were all so exhausted, and dawg tired...by the end of the trip. Always wondered how some of the visitors who make such trips always manage to be up and ready for breakfast...leave and do their actvities, and be back dressed yet again in a new set of clothes, for lunch..and are back to dinner with another set of clothes...their kids are so well behaved and eat without fussing. The kids always want to swim when the parents tell them to. They don't climb rocks and roll down grassy slopes. They walk in and walk out with their parents and never scream and tell the world that they are on a holiday....so why??? do our kids ( 11 in all) do everything in contrast to this. I wonder..
We were seen for eternity in the dining...we were all over the place, using all energy to see and explore every single space in the resort. Ate everything in sight, drank as if there was no tomorrow....sometimes wore the clothes through the whole day...( we would hardly have the time to breathe...forget change into and change again) And never did get to see the same child twice in an hour...

Yeah....now i'm all ready for my holiday...at home, lazing around, no school, no early mornings....and just chilling...

So if i'm seen too often on your blogs please forgive me.....I'm on a holiday...

The rage!! and the rage!

2008-09-26T09:08:00.007+05:30

""Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."

Yes this is a line I read somewhere...and know I have done well in my life.
I've used this to my hearts content over and over again, the last few days...( 15 days so far..not yet done though!! )
I agree with it wholeheartedly....the divine feeling you get, as the name carries across and tingles in the air leaving you feeling content and smug, is a feeling only mothers get. And more so, moms of two teaching their kids for exams. But any mother will do.......I'm sure they'll agree with me.

The kids are 'nuts', I tell you..and have driven me to the stage of 'AHAM BRAHMASMI'. How else would you explain to a boy of 7 that whatever stunts he tries...in the end , he's the one who'll be writing and not his mom?

For a question " Why is oxygen important to us?"

His answer " How do I know? You tell"

**I was actualy smiling and choking on my laugh, when I heard it**

And he comes back from the exam...and apparently must have 'made blow torches while he spun a few rubber bands into magic catapults, while writing the paper'... He was pretty upset...and so when I said
" Thats the reason I ask you to stay put in one place and study and not treat the house like a gym..."

He very matter of factly says " Its ok ma!! its after all an exam!! "
Hmppfff, huh!! eh!!
What was that?

I really need to learn that... :D

And I have to learn a lot from them.

But I have learnt that when you really scream...a hollow, wall cracking scream.....letting the last letter just stay there hung suspended in mid air...it does bring a smile on MY face....
It feels satisfying...I dont even bother to look and see if it has had any effect on them....'cos i'm sure it hasn't.
And so the reason the younger one has his name ending with an " N" ...to deviate from the the statement and make my house sound and echo like a ringing bell.....

and to add to the cacophony his mother makes, he has learnt the latest rage in ringtones....
so my house is reverberating with this...... seconds being provided by the older brother...
and whoever dares laugh at me....
a virtual kick in the butt for all of you!!!

Yes!!! I am waiting so so ...for the break.....no screaming, no nothing...
Just Nirvana.....

and listening to this song in the meantime....
Jee karda - Singh is king

Scribblings with pen and ink!!!

2008-09-20T09:15:00.005+05:30

"No man was more foolish when he had not a pen in his hand, or more wise when he had" - Samuel Johnson.

LIfe is not fun anymore....trust me. In these ages of 'make things perfect' products , the fun is lost.
Just last evening while checking my sons stationary to be taken for his exams, I was a lil disappointed to see the inside of the case.
No stains and no blue gory looking tissues or cloth. Hmppffff....
In my school days, writing with an ink pen was in the first place, a very prestigious benchmark in our lives. Ok so all the rest were to be counted in too...but , I'm sure the school year, where you are allowed the use of a pen was a moment to be rejoiced and cherished. It signalled the advent of 'grown up kid' ...of course it has no physical justification. Imagine, a 8-9 year old being 'big'?? Huh!!!
But pen it was...and the preparations for the journey was a memorable one. Then the pens that had to be used were only fountain pens. The ball-point pens ( dot pens, as it used to be referred to ) were a sniggered cousin. The teachers would smirk and of course 'stand up on your bench types' if we did use one.
The fountain pen had its days.
The varieties were few . The regular ones with nibs having their noses out. The nibs were special...one had to be careful...if it fell to the ground while you were flipping it to get the ink to flow along, you had to repair the bent nib. And off it went to the edge of the desk, a pencil box in hand, hammering at the edge to straighten it out. The nib of course by now would have a gap, that would set its status to " reject or deject' But not for us...the pen would be brought very gingerly to the teeth, and pinched between the 4 frontal dental geniuses. Nib repaired...( it had to be checked by scribling in the back pages of a book, of course!!) one would know exactly why the bench partner would be staring at you. No !!! You were not the proclaimed genius of your pen..but you would be sporting a blue grin...thanks to dental make ups...
The offended teeth would be wiped away on the edge of the bag...( then it was the canvas one...washable and much more lighter( on the pocket, wallet, back and the teeth too!!)

The art of cleaning, had to be mastered too....a thin white ( nearly) cloth or sometimes paper too had to be twisted into a thin long piece and inserted into the cap, only to come out all soaked and drooping. It was an art...yes!

Sadly the fountain pen, did have its esteemed company in the name of "HERO" pen.
Oh yes the smoothie, the no - nonsense ink filling pen. The joy one got of just dipping the pen into the ink pot and coming away un-blued...was a joy. But those pens were only meant for the exams...it used to be the more expensive ones of our time...a whopping 16 rupees.
But they were treasured.

The shirts had their stains, and the women's magazines had their articles
" How to remove ink stains from clothes"

The graffitti on school walls, sprinkled blue and black...sometimes for the adventurous, green too....small splats, looking like flowers with one petal drooping out of the cluster and drooling gravity. They were there, for the walls to soak and memories to be made.
Now when I see the ultra clean gel pens...the cheap, disposable, refilled, kind of pens....I look back and wonder, if the stained memories were more fun...blue'd walls be damned!!!

And collecting some vague ones too..I had one which had the outer barrel stuffed with currency notes, one that had a figure, transparent one..that when tilted to write would fill up to disclose the beautiful woman...so many , such a lot of fun.

There's nothing like writing with a fountain(ink ) pen! :) Oh ya

Dog-eared and book-marked!!!

2008-09-17T16:11:00.007+05:30

Tags been doing its rounds...and exam time onmy head, so brain works in just one direction....hindi , Biology...etc....so thoughts i'd handle these tags and bore all of you...
get ready for one long post...whoooosh!!!
Tagged by Lone wolf- Anoop....and Suma...
Since both dealt with books, mixed both up
Here go the ones...

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you really love (and strikethrough the ones you hate
4) Reprint this list in your own blog.

How is it that the books I have read don't feel like being featured here?? :(
so here's the list someone else has so patiently compiled
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible -parts of it
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (most of them)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov ( I remember reading this book while in high school...and was totally flummoxed, 'cos I of course, but naturally didn't understand what the whole fuss was about. But later on, I did re-read it, and liked it and still have it...wonder what i'll feel if I read it now?? )
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo ( read it half way through :( )

If I were to be asked which books i'd like to read....i'm sure its gonna be all those who haven't been read..I gotto read them...and since I have the list now...yay!!!

I have a lot of favourites...thats because you can't just have one.....
I don't have any hatred for any kind of books...at the most the book fails to maintain my interest and I stop reading...though I keep going back and thinking whether i'd like it better if I read it now...????
So ~~no strikethroughs~~...but since I just learnt how to use this tag...i'm going to strike that out...
but my all time favourite would be

Pride and Prejudice
Gone with the wind
Kite Runner

Now since the latest tag by Anoop, was again to do with books, I thought i'd add that here...who knows it might make my job easier, cos some might have already been answered :P

Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?

As kids we used to have a lot of time on our hands ( less stressed school work, and no TV) so I just started reading..of course, how could I ignore the rows of shelves loaded with books at my house...Dad has a love for reading and so but naturally daughters will inherit it..

But who could forget my school, who used to give away books as prizes for any winner...

And then tryst with books started...he would buy me books each time he travelled ( I still treasure all of them..cos they have his handwriting so neatly penned in) and then it was the quaint old neighbourhood library.

What are some books you read as a child?

Many I have forgotten, but crystal clear in my mind is one big book, that said " Wash 'em clean"...it was by a Russian author, Korney Chukovsky so agree with Anoop here...and it had such cute pictures and simple words that made up amazing stories. Years later they were also the books I read out to my kids first thing.

Pinocchio a book that I had got as a prize in school, was a great one to begin with. No hard covers...pictures few, that could be colored too...( I hadn't I remember, cos I was worried i'd spoil my first book :)

What is your favourite genre?

I have a Issac Asimovs 'Spells', unread...so that makes me a bit partial for anything non-science fiction.

I love mush, romance, medical thrillers, murder mysteries, autobiographies, semi-autos...anything and everything.

Do you have a favourite novel?

Just told you in the above tag, many...so can't actually name everyone of them...it depends on the mood, and my need to read at that time. It could range from the heavy duty Vishnu Sahasranam or a light read like Calvin and Hobbes....

Where do you usually read?

Stumped...!!! How can you designate a place specifically for reading??? I can read anyplace, as long as I can hold that book straight to see the words. I read between making dosas( on the kitchen counter), when I give my son a break when he's studying, right under his pile of books, near the pool, in the car, in the principal's office.....I think you'll got my point.

Before I got married, I remember reading in loos, at my study table with the book hidden under a school book, while classes were going on in school, Wonder what thrill there is but it is to be done once in a lifetime.

When do you usually read?
Anytime, anyplace. I just need to read the book and finish it. I have read books, while boiling milk as early as 5 in the morning. and woken up from sleep an dread a book , cos I couldn't sleep. So time doesn't ever matter.

Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?

Oh yes!!! Even now there are 3 that are being read simultaneously...

Do you read nonfiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?
Eh!! How does one do that??? Let me see, if its a romance, that i'm reading , then there will be scented candles, soft music, ...huh!!! where was I? ...no way...
All books have pride of place in terms of place and style of reading....all the same.
*On second thoughts, maybe I should try reading science fiction hanging upside down from the bookshelf... ***

Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?

ALL OF THEM.....isn't that what love of reading does to you.."beg , borrow or steal" Though I havent had to use the third tactic so far.

Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?
And why is my new house still having 3 unopened boxes, all filled to the brim with books..( I've tried negotiating with my son for space in his book shelves to no avail :( ).
Yes, in a very generous state of mind, I did go and give away nearly 100's of my mills and boon collection to the neighbourhood library...but the insanity stopped right there....Now its back to drooling over all the books on the pavements, bookstores, houses, schools, sales...everywhere...can't kick the habit.

If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?
Too late to be asking me the big "IF" i have 2 sons already....and yes, I have shared most of my books ( I have to..) and most of the ones I read as a child hold important place on the shelves.

What are you reading now?
War and Rememberance by Herman Wouk
The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
Veronica decides to die by Paulo Coelho ( getting bored...so its been hung up for now)
Hindi sulekh..for 7th standard students, ( oops....sorry....exams up now...so had to squeeze that in too )

Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?
Oh yes!!!! Like I do each time read tags like this...or read a review in the media...but when I finally go out to buy a book, I call up my friends and eat their head for a list....

Right now the one that tops the list of to be read is
Preethi from Just a mother of two's

Bubblegums and candies...

I'd love it if all of you would do the same....its gonna be fun

What books would you like to reread?

Not too fond of reading bestsellers again...'cos I like that first euphoria or whatever the feeling to stay as it is...and not to be blended with others opinions and reviews.
But books like
The power of now by Eckhart Tolle
Book on Women by Osho
Calvin and Hobbes
I love to read and re-read..

Who are your favourite authors?
Am not at all fussy...its the story that'll pull me towards it. A must read review by a friend can also do the trick. I'm not biased. There was a time, when JOhn Grisham, Frederick Forsyth, Ayn Rand, Robin Cook used to be favourites, I still have to read all their books that come out...maybe its force of habit.

Now is the time to tag another....
I'd love see what
Sahana, Preethi from Incessant musings, Shruthi from High Spot, Ceedy, Rambler and Joy to do the honours.

Ambling along!!

2008-09-15T09:36:00.001+05:30

Just answered the prompt at Sunday Scribblings on my other blog.. Take a look here

Divine intervention!

2008-09-14T11:58:00.008+05:30

I have never believed so strongly that things happen and there is a divine intervention. I'm a very matter of fact person. I celebrate festivals, because I love the culture and the environment it creates and more because I can see so many people smile. It is a chance for me to learn more cooking and the art of time management ( trying to cook umpteen dishes while the pooja has to be done before a certain time, does need some brain drains..) ...I have never brought the God into the picture at all.. :(

I know that the power above is one who guides me and helps me in my situations.
All these years...each time a tragedy struck anyplace I would feel bad, upset, sometimes ( i'm being honest) it wouldn't affect me, and there were many times that anger in me dissipitated all the effect of the entire event. I somehow felt that the person i'm connected to will never be in that particular place...god knows what that theory is all about!!

But last evening, I am assured, there is a divine power somewhere looking after us, and He knows when exactly we need it.

I got the first call around 7.00 PM and it was my brother sounding frantic. He had just seen the news on TV about the bomb blasts in New Delhi, while he was waiting for a train. He's tried to call her immediately and she was not reachable. When he called me , I was not perturbed...I am like that, always ( my injury prone kids have trained my brains and mind well enough, I should say! )...my media box was shut down for the day....cos kids were studying for their exams. But when I did switch it on, I realised the extent to the damage and then slowly it sunk in...My sister was to take her friend to Connaught place for shopping. And the news said it had occured there.

I finally managed to get in touch with her...and she was in the middle of a very slow moving traffic, that was getting out of the area..and she just said, " Thank God! I was sitting in the park, and nothing happened!! I'm ok now. "

Later it was learnt that the very same park she was sitting in waiting for her friend to show up, was the place of the blast. My heart did a somersault. It could have been HER. But then I am now sure of that Hand above.

In all this I realised one more thing....why are we sometimes so selfish, that we get all so concerned only when it regards our own people....was I being selfish here too...? All I could think of was my sister and no one else.. :(

I pray for all those affected by these blasts. And I really wish there was something I could do to erase such dastardly acts .

How Green is my color!!!!

2008-09-10T13:01:00.007+05:30

Often while reading a book one feels that the author would have preferred to paint rather than write; one can sense the pleasure he derives from describing a landscape or a person, as if he were painting what he is saying, because deep in his heart he would have preferred to use brushes and colors -.Pablo Picasso

Reading this quote I was left wondering if I could ever do something like that. Paint I can't do justice to effectively. But when Ceedy tagged me into writing a story based on a color I like, I was cornered.
Reason being, I could tell all my favourite color and then write what I felt ...so hopefully there is some justice in this story I tried at writing.

Green!!!! starved monsters...

"There was a time, he would come home and sit with me straight away...would love to watch me in the kitchen. He has no time for us now. He would tell bedtime stories to Chunnu, even that has stopped" said Shekhar's mother, wistfully.
Rashmi carried on with her task of cutting vegetables. She knew what would come next. Her mother in law had become very predictable. She had done everything to make it easier. Had never once argued. She had let her be.
But today she could see those monsters crawling all over. Green eyed and spurting fire..

"Which saree is this? I have never seen you wearing this?" said the mother in law.
" Ma, its the same one that Shekhar bought for me, my last birthday", Rashmi said softly and patiently.
" Oh! how is it that he was able to buy a gift...he had no time to buy one for my birthday", her voice raised, a pitch higher. She had completely forgotten or chose to forget, that Shekhar had indeed given her a gift, though not a saree. But that wasn't the conversation her mother in law wanted to have.
Rashmi, got up to go inside, only to be stopped by the sounds coming from within the room. Her mother in law, had started the age old habit of whining and digging into the past, brow beating her husband into nodding his head and silently approving all her acts. Rashmi just shook her head, and walked away.
She had seen this coming after all. And she also knew it was best left ignored.
But how long would she stay silent. Wasn't she the same young effusive, outspoken girl! Could she stay silent long enough to work things out or should she say something?
She waited for her husband Shekhar to return from his long hours at work. She hummed to herself, breaking out into a small jig, impromptu, but so like her. After all her favourite song was playing on the radio, and no one could stop her from being happy. She remembered those days in school...when she would be part of the group that sang for competitions. She never had the perfect voice , but she sang for herself and she was content. She didnt hear the door knob turn, so when Shekhar shouted over the Joanna number, she turned around, the song stuck half way on her lips and contorted face.
" Wonder how you hear yourself screech, in this manner. We'll get thrown out one day!"
Her heart skipped a beat, and sank into the depths. He hadnt liked her singing, not because she wasn't perfect, but he was afraid she might become one. She was talented after all. And what better way than nip it in the bud. He had done this once too often. She hadn't realised until it was too late and she had allowed it to happen.
He had never wanted her to succeed and make a name better than himself. It wasn't about her singing, it was about her being independent and self reliant. He liked her as a vulnerable and dependant woman. And he had succeeded in moulding her into one. She was ashamed of herself, but she could not compete with those green eyed monsters lurking in every corner of her life.
She looked askance, she looked back, she saw the hyper girl, with hair flying all over her face, while she wore her favourite parrot green t-shirt, that said..."I MAINTAIN MY BALANCE IN ALL SITUATIONS", dancing away into the night....and smiled.
No, she wouldn't feed those monsters today....they needed to starve.
She opened the doors to her terrace and stood, watching the verdant green of the avenue of trees that lined the road facing her house. She was at peace...the lush beauty did that to her.

Gimme Hope Joanna - Eddy Grant

An interesting link I found, for all to see.... click here check out what your personality is...and if you don't like what it says...I didn't give you any link... :D

And now to pass on this tag...

I'd like to see what Suma, Tys, Rambler got on this....

Anyone else who'd like to take this up...do so, and please let me know. I love reading

Aww it's great to have friends!!!!

2008-09-08T16:54:00.005+05:30

“Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish in the crowd.”

I remember the first time I started blogging….I had read a few, but always was under the impression that it was meant only for working people ( How brilliant was that?!!)
And when I used to read the comments I would wonder, “wow!! Such a big group of friends…and how do they do it? “

It took me a while to unwind the dumbness in this brain, and start ranting myself. Never did I think I’d be part of one lovely set of wonderful people along the way. Some tried to criticize, some raved, some laughed and some mutely stood by. But these are the very own set of my friends who helped me along, many a times healing me in crisis, and many times more, letting me know that I’m part of a normal world. And in this world, I was acknowledged and then to realize….
Was awarded this lovely one by none other than Keshi..

a girl whose honesty really amazes me.
Thanks girl!! And yes, may we remain friends forever. …and now I’m supposed to hand this over…( something like a rolling trophy??!!!)

And so here goes…The award for being blogging friends forever goes to
Shruthi from High spot

Preethi from Just a mother of two

Ziah from A slice of lime

Preethi from incessant musings

Stygian from Kafka

Oormila from Arpeggios

Madhumita from One true thing

And then I was told I was given yet another award…when it rains it pours. And this time it was about my blog being a brilliant one….yipppeee, yay!!!! And I was given this one by Preethi from Incessant Musings. Thanks girl…this sure is gonna keep me smiling and grinning for a while now

And this I proudly pass onto

P S

Tys

Bengalooru Banter

Keiths ramblings

Ceedy

Ghazal

Thank you guys…you’ve joined me along on my journey and made it oh so interesting, I could never get bored for a second.

And then I realise these are not enough for all those lovelies who I have come across...so

I'm adding on...please to forgive me- a!!!!! After all i'm a Libran and totally unpredictable....

So the BFF award also goes to

Compassion unlimited

Suma from Aalochane

Solitaire From psychobabble

Rambler

Brocasarea

Veens.....

Hershey

JOy ( oopssss...so much joy, it inflated my chest...heheheh)

Reyshma

Monica

Sahana

c'mon all you peoples...please come and collect your award...

(I ran short of patience and just cant do this linking bit.....forgive me...)

Maid-aa????

2008-09-05T20:07:00.004+05:30

I loved going out to the bus stop to drop my kids off to their school bus! I really did! I would stand there and watch all the morning joggers, the old maami's in their pristine white sneakers...and 'bobcut', the huge great danes who would go about the tree lined roads...the parts of the road, which manages to efficiently stay around inspite of the magic boxes, fly overs, airports and diversions...the huge, docile dogs, who would love to lift their hind legs just in front of the ' Do not urinate here' boards...I would love to stand and watch. It was my favourite time of the day...it was a time that I would spend chatting up with my sons.. ( wonder how they would remember all the assignments so naturally right there in the bus stop..just making me feel all so bad momma yet again....but that was the best time yes!!!! I could enjoy just a few more moments of peace and calm.

On the way back...I would walk, ever so cautiously....my eyes would be trained, 2 behind, 2 to the right, 2 the left and 2 in front( all over the place, is what I mean ...)....trying to see....far beyond and far behind. I would enter my gate, eyes trained on my kitchen window...just trying to see if it had been opened just a few inches more than what I had earlier in the day...

I would enter the lobby, and while entering the lift that would take me to my wing, try and peep into the other...( bad habit... :( ) just hoping....and the then the escalation would start, the rise of the heartbeats.....as the floor was nearing...I would turn into my corridor, walk slowly and walk ever so carefully...all eyes on the floor....No...I knew how to walk straight...I could walk blindfolded in that corridor ..but I had a reason...I wanted to spot the one thing that would brighten my day!!

The lone pair of footwear...conspicious by its presence...but heartening to my soul...the sight that would make me smile and know that this is what I needed to know that my day is going to be good and bright....Never had a pair of worn out chappals made me smile and grin as much as these...

I would open the door and hear the splish splash in the kitchen and walk in proud, head held high, shutting out the 'Hi, you're back?' from dear hubby....of course I was proud...

MY MAID HAD COME IN FOR WORK TODAY....YAY!!!!!

PS. Written in sheer frustration 'cos maid had been phoonked....or whatever...for the last 3 days...,

Who said life is simple??

2008-08-26T18:46:00.004+05:30

I think its time I convinced myself that I’m not needed everywhere and that what I have been doing has been ok…and that life gets by …no matter how hard I try…it’ll still remain the same.

If I have to look at life’s gifts to me…I’d consider my sons the best ones amongst them. They just make my life so simple….just a plain circus. Isn’t that simple enough…

Well consider this.

My older is a stickler for details and ….
His books are always so neat, I wonder if he even opens them to use it.

The younger :
I remember wrapping the books in brown regulation school sheets….clean, neat and light brown. 2 months down the academic year…I can’t see the brown…its just plain black and ..I insist he’s a dirty kid, but he insists he had nothing to do with it…

And they both go to the same school??!!!!

Older: Its been 3 years since I gave him pencils and erasers…each exam I ask him to take a new pencil and eraser, but his is still brand new. (He was a lil upset that his teacher had borrowed his eraser and taken off the plastic wrap around it…hmppfff so much for cleanliness..!!

Younger. I’ve raided Metro , the wholesale place…but I’m always running short of stationary…what does he do with them???? 3 erasers and all gone in one day?? Don’t even ask about his pencils…he’s sharpening them so often, I don’t think he even writes in them at times.

Storage better get better in days to come…
Older: His things are always in its own place. He’s a very outdoorsy kind of boy, but his stuff always gets back to the same place…and they are looked after too…sometimes to the point of my frustration…

Younger : He is an organizer too…his things just organize themselves into bad, sandy and broken. And trying to ape his elder brother , he borrows all my boxes from the kitchen…sometimes…even the expensive Tupperware ones…to keep his stuff. After a few days…I find all his things in one jumble in one huge bag…Where did all the boxes go?? Search me??!!!!

I’ve tried to maintain a little bit of tradition in my family. Love celebrating festivals and following customs. Its fun if one were to look at the brighter spot.

We lived our childhood celebrating Ganesh Chaturthi, Ramnavami, etc, community style…and they have taught me huge lessons in bonding and teamwork.

This Janmashtami, as is tradition, I made all the sweets( some I bought of course) and true to our custom, while offering naivedya ( offering to the Lord) I kept a small bit of buuter on the Lords’ idol. Bang on!! Came the first question…

Younger : Will Krishna eat it?

Older: So dumb!! As if he can..

Father : Of course, if you really pray hard for him to, maybe he will..with a wink .

Me: silence…

Next morning..the blob of butter as expected still remains in its original spot.

Younger…He didn’t eat?

Me : Maybe he was full with so many sweets..

Older: Hmpff…so dumb!!

Younger : ( after some thinking) How can he, Ma…he’s playing the flute, how can he eat and play at the same time …!!!

Time for me to change the idol I think…next time, I’ll look for one laidback Krishna maybe….eating butter ????

I am now convinced that whoever said that as they grow, their vocabulary increases, just don't pay attention. But I can show them its not how it is…it just gets down to simpler words, and then by the time they marry it gets to become monosyllables…and we still wonder why our husbands don’t answer with anything more than Haan!, yes! OK, maybe….?!!!!

But life is one big gift, like I said…and I’m sure a few years down the line when they are away from us…I’ll be grasping at these memories and all they would do is make me smile..

Tomorrow is yet another day!!!

2008-08-20T20:55:00.003+05:30

2 weeks of hectic madness…some made by me, some made for me…but I was in the center of it all, not able to organize my slightly crisp mind into thinking. Reasons were plenty. Most of them silly. And some, more like whining.
But most important was the sight of so many unpacked boxes, because the umpteen nagging issues in a new house, and added to it the presence of so many workers, most who assumed they were entering an empty house and not one already occupied. So for want of permission they would just walk in with either a paint brush in hand or a wrench more ghastly than the previous one to replace a leaking faucet…but I am enjoying it all actually…it reminds me that I have that much of time to think about action…all that is going on and have fun at my own expense…and then again to blog too….

But since the brain is still a bit on a mute mode…thought I’d handle a tag, so something which needs to be just answered and no thinking up a topic to write about…how’s that for brilliance…
So picked up this one, tagged by Sahana on Kal , Aaj aur Kal

The details of this one….Two questions in each category answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. (Simple enough right) Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and you are all set.

Yesterday
Your oldest memory
What were you doing 10 years ago?

Today
Your first thought today morning
If you built a time capsule today what would it contain?

Tomorrow
This year ….
What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

My oldest Memory..

I knew this one would get me…
Well, being a very helpful kid at 7-8 years, and having a terribly flexible body…I could go through rectangular grills the size of 6” x 9”. So each time a resident locked himself out of his flat , the door –opener would be called…ME!!! I would squeeze myself through those rectangles and walk in and open their doors, and of course be rewarded for this brave act with a handful of raisins…yes!! Raisins…and I would be all happy and smiling…
And now when I find my lil one climbing pipes up to the first floor and to the top of the balconies, I just say! “ history repeats itself!!”

But I do remember the time when I used to put pieces of paper torn from my grandfather’s old books, into the mailbox that would be fixed to his house compound., way before, soemtime 35 years ago I think…Don’t even dare ask me why I did that???

What were you doing 10 years ago?

10 years ago …well!! I was frantically running behind my son who was then 2 and a half years old and in his most terrible two’s . He was so restless, he never would sit in a place for long.. ( he never does that even now! L ) All that I remember from that time is his “ Amma beku” (I want momma) cry….for an hour, when I had left him at his play school gate…his tear filled eyes and his face wedged between the railing…still come back at times. I smile at those memories now…but then I was sure I was not fit to be a mother….and had to be reassured many times over by his favourite teacher then, that he would be ok…and he was…much to the point of telling me to come back after a few hours L so much for feeling sad! Hmpppffff…

Today:
Your first thought this morning

After returning from a very exhausting trip to Tirupathi… and just crashing out to having a very restful sleep, all I could think of this morning was “ Did I keep the milk coupons??? , I don’t have any energy to go out and buy milk!! “

If you built a time capsule today what would it contain?

Contain?? Let me see…my whole world…huh!! So boring am I not???
Maybe I’ll think of it in peace and then decide…so until then ….patience and please wait!!

Tomorrow
This year ….

Well this year gave me a lot of bumps...some good and some real bad. But i've picked myself up and tried to carry on...am trying to build a life centred around acceptance. Praying that things will go right .

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

14 years???? Are you crazy…I don’t know what I’ll be doing 14 seconds from now??? Absolutely no idea….considering I would have hit the half century button on my clock….I think I’ll stop the thinking bit for now and just enjoy every moment for now..

Well to tag a few….
Preethi from Just a mother of two

Suma from Aaalochane

Madhumita from One true thing

Veens…from Rum’blinks’

Misssing blogging :(

2008-08-12T18:13:00.004+05:30

Like Sahana said...beta stage for some connections...my life seems to be there too...all on experiment mode.Thought once I shifted to my new home, life would be blissful, unpack, arrange, get on to blogging... yes!! I always dream BIG...and thats whats been happening...I'm right now, juggling between setting up a home and trying to put names of profession ( read! plumber, carpenter, homecare ) to the faces...
Its all so confusing that today while in the lift, one of the residents who happens to be moving in , in the coming week, stepped in, and another worker seeing him, said " Sir!! the cable tv is not coming properly""The cool dude, from the US freaked out....I was having my first bit of smile forming on my lips...What fun to watch confusions and the people involved in it...
One day i'm afraid I might just walk up to the next door neighbour and ask him if can come and fix the tap, cos its spurting out water from the shower instead of the wash basin..and all because he walked out from the maintenence office :(

PLease, please, be patient ...

I checked my Google Reader and find a huge list of unread posts., and it looks like a mela...and its going to take me a while going through all of them...and I am going to.
Until then...
don't forget I exist...

And then....

2008-07-28T22:42:00.002+05:30

The beautiful orange streaks across the sky beckoned her thoughts, and so did her gaze look yonder. She had just come back from a beautiful play, one which she had initially refused to go for. Her friend had insisted, saying she had not stepped out for ages, and she might need the change.She had finally given in and had also enjoyed every moment of her day out. She had felt one with the breeze, the green of the lush trees and also the nip in the air reminded her of the lovely monsoon winds.
She stared out of the window, trying to catch the silver line bordering the dark clouds in the orange sky. It was a fusion of colours, just like her innermost thoughts. She knew in a few minutes all her smiles would dissolve. She had tried talking to her friends about him. But then he was a different persona in front of them. How could she convince them , that what they saw in him was not what he was. He turned into a monster , a person, who couldnt handle negative criticism, someone who wanted repeated assurances that he was good, even if it meant it was a lie. How could she tell them, that she walked on egg shells while he was around. Not knowing
which action of hers, or words would anger him? She hoped he worked late, tonight too, she could sleep peacefully knowing there would be no arguments seeping into the night. She prayed for courage , strength and the guts to voice out her feelings.
But then " “things are not always as they appear”, and she knew only too well the repurcursions if her efforts backfired!
She looked on and on, into the grey of the night!

Written in response to the prompt at Matinee muse.

Nerd alert!!

2008-07-18T09:00:00.008+05:30

Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests that are age inappropriate rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers

Obscure?!!!

Does that mean, I am one? :( Oh oh!! and all the while I was thinking I was being a very caring mother, one who answers the doubts unanswered by the school teachers ( wonder , how that issue will ever get solved?? ), felt very elated when I solved the math problems...i've had to study the chapters too before I let out my tirades...All the tarzanish yollering, all come to an abrupt end... :( :( :(

My son called me a 'nerd'

I was sure, being social ( I can talk to walls too...but thats the issue of being a chatterbox...) , I sometimes do dumb things like walk into walls or furniture...not always pursuing intellectual activities...I still push a door that says pull...yeah...I can be dumb too..., I stop myself from jumping and touching the branch of a tree on the roadside, ( thinking it is not age appropriate..( the auto drivers might just die narrating the incident to the next 100 drivers along the street :( ...). And I take part in some of the popular activities like watching movies or television ....I'm not a loner...I have friends too...and love each and every one of them , and keep in touch with them too.
But then why do you think I am a nerd????
Well , unit tests are on now...and somehow, my elder son assumes, the way to solving math problems are just getting the answers right...which of course the school and all their clan frowns upon...they need the steps ...and I very smartly told him that...
" How can you just write an answer, how will they know how you got to it??. When I was in school ( wrong call....totally...should have just shut up) we used to always write each step and didnt think of arguing like this"
"Huh!! You were a nerd , ma!!"
Nerd?!!!!

How do they expect us to teach them anything if we don't know anything?? But if we know it, we are nerds...wow!!! Great isn't it?
The other day, I overheard a few students in my sons' school talking...( I know, I should learn not to eavesdrop on kids....). One of the kids while watching a match was trying to write down his notes, that he had missed..( I thought that was so cool and smart, he was so responsible) , when.....
"Saw that A, what a nerd he is..so dumb, no?!!..."
Poor child, and here we mothers were sitting and wishing all our sons would at least look at their books and not run around like monkeys, convincing the principal that their teams needed cheering , so he should give them permission to watch all the matches...huh!!!

Then I read this somewhere...

Nerds are also sometimes portrayed as having symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder, such as by showing an extreme devotion to following rules.

I think I need a time out and go assess my skills at parenting and more of being a "non-nerd"...and I just need to find out what the hell this word Esoteric Knowledge means??

Door to door .....with freebies?!!

2008-07-15T12:00:00.003+05:30

"MeyDum, ondhu pyaket thogonDre, ondhu spoon free" (madam if you buy one packet, you'll get one spoon free) Yes....and then 12 packets were bought...how else could you make a set of 12 spoons for your cutlery set?!!!
Remember those times...( i've lost out on that scenario, 'cos I moved into apartments) I dont know their skill , but all I can remember is them ringing the doorbell exactly 9 minutes after you dozed off into noon nap..ech....they would refuse to go away....if you didnt open the door and look at their plastered faces...they would keep their grimy fingers on that drasted doorbell of yours.

And then when you opened the door, they would erupt, spontaneously into their tirade of...."buy one take one free"....and even if you did open the door and bought something...they would furiously scrawl something ineligible in black nonwashable something on your neatly painted wall.. :( . Reminds me of Alladin and the 40 thieves.. gulp

How many badam packets has my mother in law bought..." Ille, spoon nalla irukku" (no, the spoons are of good quality) she would say and I would go....eekss....but what would I do with 12 badam packets???? I hate them......but 12 spoons it was.

The kitchen piled up on steel tumblers, 'eversilver' ( stainless steel) dabras( katoris , cups) , then one day, if you were lucky, it would also change into some fine printed handkerchief...yes....that the poor hanky would finally shrink to the size of the nose, is a different matter...

There was this set of ladies who would make their visit to our house regularly...naturally..they wouldn't miss out on their best customer, would they? And then my mother in law, would complain about the previous rusting plate that they had offered and to exchange it...but " NO....the offer had changed :D !!!!

It was now one packet of sanitary napkins free with the other...gaaawwwd....I have seen the whole room reeling under the weight of those blue packets....what with 3 women...grrrr one years supply...baaah bwaaah

I was absolutely sure that we were the only family who did this...but to my horror, my mother told me, that her neighbour also did the same. But her reasoning was different..." poor girls, if they dont sell something, they won't get commission( that was how it worked...commission on n number of products sold) "
So then the house would be decorated with the encyclopedia, the cookery books....those that were sold on promotional tactics ..." we are giving a 70% off, ma'm" in their very accented perfect english. Now I wonder...why was it that the guy would always be accompanied by a smartly dressed girl, and the girl would do all the yacking while the poor guy stood quietly lookin hopefully to see that promising positive look in our eyes?!!! Of course I fell into that trap too....books being my weakness....and each time they targeted me in the office...so I now have a collection of 'fruits for all occassion', 'potatos and their magic'...'world books', 'Saarus', 'icecreams'...no...i'm stuck with them...

It also reminds me of the pastime we used to have as kids....no tv then...Bangalore had not yet got its tv...so it was us sitting playing traditional games, chaukabara, drawing, reading books, and of course listening and aping the "steel paaaaathre saaamaaanyo" ( steel utensilssss)...and then would get that glare from the big man...who would turn around his head with all the steel utensils carefully, skillfully, placed and also hanging out of the cane basket, like the BTS buses with commuters spilling all over the door. Today when I see all the neat old clothes, sarees, etc and trying to give them away or donate them...I think back to those scorched afternoons when that man would go about screeching in his nasal tones...while his lil boy would hold one piece of that steel carrier with the handle...wondering if in the next house, the lady would give away some saree with Zari..( it fetched a better price, you see!!) or some hapless suit..

Thankfully now we get all the freebies stuck into the glossy sheets of the ever popular magazines...Sunsilk shampoo sachets, meera shikakai, the get children yantras, and cds too...no more doorbells ringing...but no more "MeyDum"..... too :(

Do you think....

2008-07-13T17:44:00.000+05:30

There are times when you feel as if all the world around you seems to be dissolving and you are to be blamed for that. But still you know that deep inside your soul, you've been a good human being, and nothing can leave scars on the crust of your goodness.

Positivity can hang on for ever...but is there a solution to falling into a chasm with no end?

Can someone ever get away with everything just because they are louder and stronger and just make themselves heard better???

Can a person ever forgive and forget the past, when all that the past has given is corrosion of its strongest defences-its pride and self confidence?

In books lies the soul of my whole past time......

2008-07-08T10:43:00.014+05:30

Preethi from Incessant Musings tagged me to do this very interesting one....and with my love of books....I couldn't even think of saying a no...Thanks Preethi....but now you're held responsible if I stay hidden...co's i'm back again looking through all these old books of mine... :)

The tag reads, that i've got to list out my top ten literary characters...and man!!! this was tough to sort out....some were forgotten, but still loved, and some got me back to reading some lines yet again....

and then here goes the countdown...In no particular order....I love all equally

1. Howard Roark, *stars dancing around her eyes* in The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
It was the first day of our professional course, and we had a few seniors posing as lecturers to rag us weeny freshers. The name stands out because we had one guy asking a fresh new student why she had taken up this course....and her answer was " I loved the book Fountainhead" and thats why. That name has followed me ever since. The character so strong and so impressionable. Thats how I chose to favour him. My favourite character from a literary novel. Roark who takes pleasure in the act of creation

PS. By the way...that student wasn't me....!!!

2. Julian from the Famous Five . Each time the 3 siblings were sent on a vacation to their uncle's house on Kirrin Island, they chose to take me along on the journey....and I went...spinning dreams and convincing myself that the character Julian was made ,keeping me in mind.. ( what hopes I had!!!...) and then the five turned to seven and the characters grew along with me...some became, James hardley Chase's characters and then some my very own dream Mills and boon heroes...but I still believe the spirit of adventure in me was sown by the Famous Five and Julian.

3. Thornbirds- Father Ralph de Bricassart

When the strikingly handsome; "a beautiful man", stepped foot into Drogheda....my interests were spiked and there started an affair with the young, capable, and ambitious priest. Have read this book so many times, that I finally convinced myself to watch the movie....but I had to say, I was disappointed.I had imagined Father Ralph as this very handsome tall, blond haired man and there he was on the screen blowing out all the fizz left in my poor imaginative soul :(. But then the character stayed on .

4. The Bridges of Madison County is a best-selling novel by Rober James Waller.

When the lonely Itallian war bride engages in an adulterous affair with a National Geographic photographer little did she know she'd leave behind a very starry eyed woman mooning over them. Clint Eastwood i'm sure would have done a fantastic job in that role ...and i'm hoping one day i'll get hold of the dvd of the film . Happened to read the epilogue entitled A Thousand Country Roads that was published in 2002, but was not so impressed as the first one.

5. Kabuliwala- Rabindranath Tagore
The lovely story, simple, descriptive and poignant. When you finish this story you're left glossy eyed ( at least it does that to me) . Tagore managed to bring out such wonderful nuances to this huge man from Afghanistan, and the simplicity of an innocent girl. .

6.The title song from the serial still rings clear ....ta nana thana nana naaa....and I can visualize little chubby Swami running across the scenic Malgudi..the present Agumbe the location . His pranks, his antics, and his sweet smile, was so endearing we chose to stay up every week while the serial was being telecast. I had read some of RK Narayan's books, before that...but this one should be the best...adorable Swami from Malgudi Days.

Ta nana tha nananaaaa

MalgudiDays.mp3 -

7. Casablanca

The boy stood on the burning deck,
whence all but him had fled.....
This poem....while at school, used to be and still remains one of my favourites. I remember having a lump in my throat when I used to read it...the image of the boy, imprinted itself in my brain...he never grew, through the years, he just stayed glued to that deck......he still remains as my best loved poetic characters..

8. " Take care to chop the onion fine. To keep from crying when you chop it ( which is so annoying!), I suggest you place a little bit on your head.....The first few lines in this novel, and I was hooked...When Tita, is forced to stay unmarried because of some traditions in their culture, she weaves a tale around her, mixing some traditional recipes on the way...I found this girl to be so wonderful...and yes...got hold of many recipes too in the bargain. It has been made into a film too...but I stick to print on paper.
Tita from "Like water for Chocolate" by Laura Esquivel. A novel with recipes, romances and Home remedies....The secrets of love and life as revealed by the kitchen...

9. Memoirs of a Geisha...
Chiyo....such a cute name....and endearing personality. When she moves around the village and the city, she grows in her character and still retains the innocence ...This appealed so much....and loved her all the way...

10. When I was in school...and acted as if I was the 'Thames born brigade' ( for those who don't understand what i'm talking about....I used to talk only in English, and my regional language was offered step motherly treatment....). Not to say that now, I can converse pretty well and fight back of course in perfect Kannada...so my dad need not fret...his daughter managed without throwing the covers of Battani...(battani sippe, mattar ka chilka), books written in Kannada was like huh!!! how can you read such a thing...
But as addicted as I was to reading even back then....I would sneak out my dad's collection...and read through some of them.( yes!! remember it was pages, and something printed on them! One of which was G.P Rajarathnams. Can't remember the name of the book now though :(. but, I can still remember the poems for kids that he would write back then..
one of which is-
"Kutuku, kutuku kaalanittu ( kutuk, kutuk, he kept his feet)
Kunta naDedhane ( The lame man walked)
Gutuku, Gutuku.......
Neeru kuDidhanu

Naayi mari naayi mari.... ( i' m sure all hardcore kids from local upbringing would have voiced out these words at some time in their lives) check them out here ( Its in the local language , kannada...so i'll translate them later, one day :) )

But they were all a treasure...and i'm so glad I was bored back then, and got to reading such simple but lovely words, by this great man.

11. Roald Dahl...I know he's the author, but he's the main guy who brings life to his beautiful stories...so elegantly worded, colourfully described and so thoughtful his journeys through the character. His first book that I read... ( the one time my sister asked me to just check this guy out..."Danny the champion of the world" and there I went reading through most of his collection...the horror stories collection too....they were amazing...

12. My friend just gave me this treasure trove...and man!!!! I'm on a high!!
Who else but this little imp can do that to me....His antics and repartees....am now too engrossed, devouring the book.... "The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes"
A Calvin and Hobbes treasury by Bill Watterson.
and his famous line :
Calvin :What's you tail for?
Hobbes : My tail?
Calvin : Yeah. Why do tigers need tails?
Hobbes : Geee, I'm not really sure,
I guess just because they look good
Calvin : So it's sort of a necktie for your butt?
Hobbes : Let's not be vulgar. You're just jealous.
Precious, this one....and now i'm sure all you guys are jealous of me ...now that I got this collection...go on...go on...admit it...hehehh
Happy reading!!!

yes....I couldn't stop at 10 so I went on and on...so now what????

Am I going to be beheaded?!!!!

And now comes the allocation...

PS from Just A Mother of Two

Madhu from One True thing

Tys from Life and other such nonsense

Ziah from A slice of lime

Gazal from A point and a view

Joy from Me, my mind and wilderness

Shruthi from High Spot

and all those book lovers who are dying to take up this tag ;)

Size zero!!

2008-07-01T10:16:00.007+05:30

Size zero?!!!!!
Was reading the glossy Femina...yes! I love that magazine, for its many uses. When you are really wasted for time, you get to hear the juicy gossip about half the million people in the world, all of whom I wont even have heard of, forget knowing them. But its fun to know that they exist!!!!

All the shiny pictures, that are glued onto my sons school projects worms its way out from here...so I have to say a Thank you!

I see those umpteen pages showing those clothes, that make me hang my head down in shame....size zero??? the tube tops, that would require a hangar to hold onto if I were to wear it? but It helps me dream...and how!! Then I read about this woman who is going for a ninth boob job :O ....and she's not finding a doctor to do the surgery...is she nuts?????, what if she falls flat on her face....her face wont even touch the ground..and then her expensive silcons would be
ruined :( Nah!!!! I'm happy the way I am...imperfect but happy nevertheless.

I read about all those inspiring stories about entrepreneurs, and their road to success....and then suddenly, I'm dreaming of that perfectly tarred road, in front of me...neat and clean...but then I forget to see those thorny shrubs on the edge of each road...and then its back to junping over the potholes and pitstops....i'm happy that I atleast have the eyes to see around me....thorns or the roses....i'll find every one of them and stop to soak in the fragrance and keep it within and smile.

I see all those exotic, sexy looking dishes made out of ingredients, i'd give my pinky toe to know where its available in my very conservative , locality, where my local grocer thinks mushrooms and celery are equivalent to Sushi...yeah....I know I need to head out to those hep supermarkets, to find what I want...but I am not going to spend half my life going across this over crowded city, absorbing carbon dioxide in exchange for some ingredient only to be told later that it was just the "dantina soppu" that my cycle weilding soppu man, brings in fresh out of his own fields...and for which I pay one tenths the price...and I can go across in my down to earth(literally!!) jeans and need not wear my lipstick at all....or better still I can read up my favourite blogs, which show real cooking with my sensibilities...the list is on my blogroll..

I have to read that section about parenting....and now and then turn back to my non existent half, and tell myself...not bad, you're doing things just right....to the T....and only to turn around and find , in my case, all those tips, just tipped my position as a cool mom!!, only to turn into a " you're mad ma!! "...I'll stick to my intuition and my love for my kids....give them the boring
raagi kanji in the morning, and not the colourful platter shown on the glossies...I can sleep well knowing I used my own 2 hands making them, even though the faces I made drooled out the sauce from the eyes into the chin..

And yes...if I dont mention the surveys and the to do's and how to do's...I can't sleep..I've been assured by every issue....the moves, the angles, the positions and the moods...yes!!! I know for one...nothing works..its love that matters and the rest is left to the head that shouldn't ache, or the sock that hasn't gone into the washer...jackie chan jai ho!!!

PS: I wanted to thank each and everyone who had my friend her family in their prayers.

Was that all???

2008-06-25T22:39:00.001+05:30

Life is unfair...I said and now its slapping me on my face...don't know if somethings will ever stop haunting me. I know it wont.
Imagine, a lovely evening....mother just back from picking up her lovely son from school. Tantrums, et all, snacks stuffed in.
The tall , long lashes of her son sweeping through the quiet face. He wants to play. But as all moms do, she makes him sit down to finish his homework... *sigh*
Dinner is in progress....kids have to be up early, so in bed early too. And dinner it was, while she slogged on the cursive writing, in the dining area.
* Boom*
Life's dished out one massive tragedy to this small family. The gas cylinder burst and mother and son blew up in flames...( haven't still gotten all the details....) , its been too traumatic for me to even ask or know.
85% burns for the mother.
Son had lost his eyes, and most of the face, and I don't know if I should say...thankfully passed away this evening.
Mother is still critical...and I wonder what is in store!
All that I can think of right now is how to erase that smiling face from my memory. I used to see him so often each time I picked up my sons...He was my lil one's classmate from school..
All I can do right now is pray that she will not suffer any more, and the family , will have lots of strength to face this shock.

Digging up treasures!!

2008-06-24T09:41:00.004+05:30

The art of patience...is being drilled into my head by my younger son. One would think , being a mother, I would be very tolerant and coo and drool over all their artwork and craftwork...
Yes, I do...I love each and every piece of it. Crooked, wonky, bare...yes...all of them. And not because i'm their mother. But because I see the glow in their eyes when they do them. Each color they use has a story behind it. ( yes it is explained too....Preethi, I'm sure you'll understand Nantu and his persistent questioning more now...). Each line they draw has a direction.
They are so pure and so uncomplicated. Simple, yes, thats what they are.
Last evening while my lil brat was finishing up a drawing for his school work....all about creation, the teacher had said. The words were, Day, night, stars and the moon, Adam and Eve, mountains, sky, etc....( Biblical stories, but learning after all)
He had in a typical child's eye, drawn out the coulds, birds, etc...the triangular mountains, the blue of the sea....and of course the brown sand and mud...with the 2 palm trees for special effect, and to top it all Adam and Eve...small stick figures, with very expressive eyes... ( Yes, I did see it in those miniature figures too)...but his brown coloring had stopped towards the end of the patch....and he had skipped on to his next work...( must have gotten tired, I thought! ) But being a pest of a mommy...I had to butt in and ask..
"What happened to the mud out here...washed out???"
" No! Adam and Eve are digging...."
Yes! absolutely divine, the answer was for me...and I prayed he would leave it like that, so I could promptly scan it in and send it off to his best critic and most loved aunt...my sister. But a few minutes later, when I was packing his suff in...I saw it was all coloured and completed.

He saw my confused 'dufus' look and said..."yeah! they finished and now they've filled it up with the mud. Just like how we do in the sand pit...remember? You told us to"

Case closed.

But come early morning, he drags me along, all dressed in crisp , uniform and white 'blancoed shoes', to the sand pit...."see what we all( I sighed...thank god there were others too!!) did last evening....awesome amma..we dug a tunnel through the jumping plates too...seeeeee...."
And this is for you'll to see....

(I'm sure Adam and Eve have not seen this , and hopefully so have some of the very stern , nosey neighbours)
P.S Normally they clean up and cover up the holes in the sand pits, but this time, I guess they were too proud and enamoured by their design prowess to think of rules and norms

Weirdo Dido!!!!!

2008-06-21T09:22:00.004+05:30

I thought I was going through a writer's power shut down. There was a blank out and I was making excuses. But looks like these events are slowly merging with madness, insanity and a feeling of despair. Am so caught up in all these things, havent had any time to look back and dissect, the phases. Sometimes, the feeling that you're sinking into nothingness, but then you are not, 'cos you are handling things well...its been well oiled the mechanism of life, your home and your environment. You've done that and not anyone else. So why is it that one should feel weighed down??

I remember reading about addiction to blogging...yes there was a time, I was...when I started anew long ago...a year ago. But then now ,I do start reading through my most read blogs...but there are times I just don't get enough time to pen down my thoughts back into those spaces, and I feel so miserable...like this eerie lurker on the prowl. So wanted to stop by and let
everyone know, that please bear with me while I get back my bearings and visit your blogs in full ernest.Wanted to let you all know, that I miss that wonderful feeling one gets when the blog hopping goes on and we find each other. But also wanted to thank all of you..there have been smiles being spread around too..many of my blogger pals are here and we're going to meet up and have fun...what say??!!!

I thought if I were to do some tags that were pending I might kick myself out of this stupor. So took this one out of my closet!
Broca had tagged me a while ago...and even though I had listed out my weirdo deedos for all of you here...and whined that I had one too many then, I just listed out a few more and made myself a bit more bizarre...so go have fun at my expense ;)

These are the rules:

1. Link the person(s) who tagged you…Brocaaaaa...do you see??

2. Mention the rules on your blog

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged..

Well...

1. It dates back to a century ago...more like many years when we were younger and would go over to my cousins for vacations. Back then, it was a custom in their house , that their morning coffe was to be sacredly victimized by the lumpy soaked forms of some bis'kut or the other. It was all very fairytale for us. Like ,as if our parents never gave us bis'cuth to eat? :(
But here it was different.
That started one of my spooky habit. I would love to delve into the transparent tall,plastic box, and hunt for the 'Marie' biscuit. Don't know why, when the whole world and her brethren were discarding it, I would just love how that humble round thingy tasted. And there was a time when I was on a liquid diet for some illness ( can't remember what?! ) and the doctor had said that I
could start off my solid diet by eating Marie biscuits...Little did that poor man know that he was prescribing exotica for me...lol...I had gorged on an entire pack I remember then...the long packets with some 20 odd numbers in it. As expected...by the end of the evening my illness had relapsed and I was banned from even looking at solids..., but thats my love for it...I still love it. and enjoy it by nibbling it first around the circumference ,trying not to disturb the letters and then moving inwards..hmmmmm bliss

2. I hate mangoes! The luscious ripe, juicy varieties...yes!! I hate them . I actually get nauseus when their fragrance whifts round...I would always keep the rest of fruits away from them , for the fear of getting its smells mixed up. I still hate them, but then 'mommadom' kicked in and then I was bending backward, holding my breath, and eyes watering, while cutting, peeling
and making shakes out of them. I know its 'His' way of getting back at me..'cos when the rest of the clan said Mango is the king of fruits, I went and changed it in my own books...and replaced it with the 'Banana'. But then my kids love this fruit called Mango...and I look at it now.

3. I'm sure many of you have heard this quite often. That God is omnipresent. Then why does everyone look upward to the sky when he is playing the blame game with The One?!!!! I don't. I'm always caught talking to myself. I believe that if He is everywhere, He is next to me too...He better be?!!! And since you can't ignore someone when they are right next to you, I keep
talking, to stop him from getting bored. I keep Him well updated...

4. Thats it...I don't know anymore :D Well thats good isn't it...I don't have to drive the lot of you running for cover...

But I have one small thing to ask of all those who know me from here....

Tell me if you find anything remotely weird in me....I 'm promising you I don't have the axe next to me...No Dashavatarams....nor the psycho effect happening...just tell me na...please, please.......

Oh now i've to tag 6 bloggers....oh heck!! thats tough...seems like everyone's been at it...so here goes...

1.Amitabh Bachchan ( yes!! I can't get enough of him....though I have never read his blogs...I stop at being weird there , but didn't want him feeling left out of this tag game, heheheh)

2. Amir Khan (I don't read this too, but have heard so much about it from the media, that I googled and got the links)

Now for some bloggers who have started dropping in, after my last few tags...lets get to see their quirks too *laughing the evil laugh*

Shruthi from High Spot! (I'm sure her kidnapping drama would have ended by now...)

Sahana (Leave the horizons and come into the evil world...)

Joy....After the choices are made, can you please take up this and let us know if eccentricities run in your blood???

Preethi..( after her India trip and Nantu'isms, i'm sure she needs a lil break)

yay!!!! I'm done...but if anyone wants to take this up, feel free...but do let me know...i'll peep in.

Eyes!-The windows to your soul!

2008-06-13T09:51:00.010+05:30

'Look into the eyes while you speak', lines I had heard so often while I was growing up, and it had become just a part of a conversation. I never dwelled on it too much, nor did I, like the kids from our generation ever think of arguing with my parents when it came to speech, posture etiquette. We just knew it must mean something good...and how right I was.

Recently I was part of a conversation where a parent was complaining about her sons arrogance and 'don't care attitude' to her son's coach. He then told her 'try asking him to look into your eyes while talking. You'll see the difference'. He said he had tried it on his teenage sons and it had worked to an extent where they now feel comfortable talking only eye to eye.

It sure got the curious cat out of me. Because, something as simple as eye contact, could hold so much in terms of behaviour discipline for a person.

Yes, its true.

Have you ever tried talking to someone, who keeps looking anywhere but at you and your eye???It feels very eerie, weird and so unsettling at times. Is it right then that one must follow such gestures?

Eye contact is a form of nonverbal communication.

I tried that with my son, and it has been working. I also can judge the mood he is in just by looking into his eyes while he talks to me. If he is in a bad mood, his eyes are open wide-eyed and yet, he has had the courage to look into my eyes now and say 'i'm not in a mood now, I don't want to talk' . Fair enough I would say...when we are not in a great mood, we too don't like being
spoken to , so why should he be different?. But if he had said that looking away from me, I would have got angry and then wondered if he was saying that just to irritate me.
As women, I know many who will agree with me when I say, that the guys who look so pointedly at nothing but at your bust..don't even get a hearing. I'm already..'gosh! he's such a creep, so what if he has important things to say?'

Nervousness can get a person to shuffling around, fidgeting with their hands, many can be seen wringing their hands like it was a wet cloth, while some even talk with their eyes closed.Sometimes, I find myself analysing people and their actions based on how they talk to their peers. It has been very interesting and so refreshing many times. I guess the reason why I never get bored while waiting for eternity for people to turn up at times, will be this. Just sit and observe without being too obtrusive.

Have you ever tried sitting down on your haunches while you hold a conversation with 2 foot chatty kid? Watch how their eyes dance, with glee, and show their excitement while they explain how the roots of a plant is white , and how they pulled it out of its socket in the soil, by themselves and it didn't break?

Have you come across such nonverbal communication that really put you off , or was very endearing while you were trying to hold a conversation with someone?

Poke, a roar and a whistle!!

2008-06-03T10:10:00.005+05:30

Back to school and off to nap...yes! thats what I assumed I should do...sleep off all the fatigue of the vacation. My vacation has begun now :D Packed off the kids to school and jumped right into bed to take a quick nap of 15 minutes... ( I just thought, I shouldn't feel guilty, so 15 minutes was great for that) ...I had been dreaming of that blissful sleep, the warm quilt ( yes, its back to that here now, after a few rains...) and la la land...when, a sudden roar shook me up...opened one eye and squinted to my left...the thought of opening both eyes, might ruin that sleep isn't it...so one eye it was. Gosh!!!!!! It was the super snorer in action....

Why oh why!!!!

I'm always being interrupted ...

first it is the phone calls....

2 hours I sit there , read the newspappers, breakfast, housework.....and just when I gently acrobat my head to the cushion....the shrill rirrrrng of the phone interrupts...look around for that damn phone, only to hear it ringing yards away from me...normally if you talk while in the same position there is every chance you could nod back off...but I have no such luck....the phone it was... miles away.
Phone call handled , I came back...and started the ruckus all over ...and this time to be heckled by the calling bell....if you were to even listen to this stupid bell that I have at home....grrrrrr....keeech, kch kch kch kch.....i'd kill Bin Laden to mute that..
Gave up the whole circus, and looked at the 'blissful other half of the couple phrase', my hubby....and thought that the best place would be right there next to him...if he can sleep so blissfully in spite of all these interruptions...so could I...and did just that ...snuggled up to his side and smilingly , gingerly rested my head...the traffic was roaring , ( it always gets amiplified in whichever house, or place I sleep in :( ...) , buses screeching right over the speed breaker that was located right near our gate...but they have never disturbed me...wonder why??

But one roar from my side...i'm right up with a vengeance...and poking his sides...as if he even knows what he was doing...'Turn on your side and sleep' I roared back....a few seconds later the waves shook all over again....they sounded more like some jet planes whizzing past...aaccckkk....one more poke...to a 'non feeling tummy tyre'...and started my analysis instead........I do that always , think my life to bits , even here amidst my attempts to nap too..

Have anyone ever thought , why the snorer always gets poked and pushed around, but those screeching vehicles outside your doorstep just gets a 'bah!!! so noisy' reaction?

While on train journeys, the chug chug of the train is much less disturbing than the snore from the guy in the berth 100 feet away????

You always get stuck next to a guy who wants to snore on a flight and not next to that tall, handsome single guy reading the latest bestseller?

Ever wondered why men snore more often after they get married???

Is it easier to react to the poor hubby sleeping by your side and who in his sleep will not even respond.. :D?

I found a great solution...

I just got up , made myself some tea..and read a book...

I should have gone scuba diving....

2008-05-30T07:40:00.004+05:30

I think i've gone crazy!!! NO really...How else would you explain madness???

By now the whole world must be knowing about our International airport and the really amazing issues that crop up each time one hears about it...forget going there or driving there but yes....there are issues.

The first issue to hit me...the roads have all been widened.. ( now, tell me....why didn't they think of this earlier...??? ) ...the beautiful grass in the Golf course....has had to shrink up a bit...and somehow..'I can't seem to get the whiff of moist earth and fresh grass smells when I drive past...It is one of my favourite routes to drive on....Last evening while going past, I was talking
on the phone with my husband, trying to co-ordinate something...and ....then after a few minutes, I heard " what happened?" and then I was brought back to earth....I had forgotten I was on the phone and I had to disconnect if I was done with my non-stop talking...I was lost, staring at the green next to me...phone still stuck to the ear...( I don't even want to think what my kids must have thought, while I looked like one 'Mr BEAN' ) ...if my husband hadn't thought to interrupt my train of thoughts...I might have just hung on there looking like an idiot...

This week has been a series of kiddie birthday parties...yes..the whole week...and here I was thinking I needed to get my sons to go out a bit and socialize instead of running like mad men when there's a fire..they seem to have a better life now...but what do you do if you're stuck with this...

My younger son gets invited to a party...where there are strict instructions that only his age kids have been invited ( the older one says..."thank god!!! who would go and sit with these irritating kids, ma"...So before I left to go out on some errand..I left instructions with my younger curly poo, that he was to be in their house only at 5.30 pm and not earlier...the gift was packed and left ready for him to see and take...
Exactly at 5.20 I get a call..." Ma...S is saying I should go to the party...but I don't want to go" I was like huh!!! but why? And he was like " Sai is not invited , i'm not going.. ( what loyalties!!!! ) " I tried convincing him...blaming myself for not being more persistent...and then I said " Ok...at least stay out of the play area...sit at home, till I get back, and then we'll see...how will I tell them that you didnt want to go??? " ( yeah....go ahead and blame me... " but I was stuck in some work...and brains were not thinking...and any mom will know its tough convincing a child from the other end of the phone.. :( ....6.30 pm...I was at home...smiling to myself...'cos I thought I had pulled off a big thing...no tantrums and no phones from downstairs..hehehh, when the bell rang.
Opened to the door to find 3 smiley faces..M, a pretty lil girl dressed in party clothes.., S, the uninvited party crasher...and my curly poo...dressed in the oldest of clothes and sand in his hair, and face and holding something....
A plate full of cake, a' return gift' , and some wafers...and to beat it all he gives me all this and said " I didnt go, A saw us and called us home...so we went and aunty gave us this...I played one game too Ma.. ( and I was supposed to be convinced ! ) ...now take this...i'll just go get my 'appy' and come ." ..and as if to pacify me, he says..".I didnt want to go , Ma...A saw us and called us...we couldn't refuse "

Bwaahhhh...waaah......
I need to hide.....
Now i have 2 more parties to go...one again where my older one doesn't get the invite...not that he's bothered...but...I dread another crazed evening...

I tell you, I should have just gone scuba diving and stayed there underneath.....

Food'ed and cartoon'ed

2008-05-25T18:39:00.004+05:30

One would have thought, these IPL matches would have been overdone and walked all over us...yes! it has, but the enthusiasm to watch those matches still hasnt waned. And added to it ,ferrying around my son, for his set of cricket too..but I've loved these 2 months of vacation. Its been fun, slow, easy and hot( yes!!! terribly warm for us people out here...the rains have still not brought the temperatures down! ). Chilling out, meeting friends, partying, watching movies, and all those repeats of the same old cartoons...and oh yes!!!!! meeting my fellow bloggers too...
First I met Ziah...and I have got to to say this woman is a bundle of enthusiasm and so much energy, she makes me feel old and worn out :(, Of course her planning system has gone a lil astray....after she went animal hopping to Bannerghatta National Park.. hehehe...but you meet her and you'll know what I mean...of course her 'Guru' husband, 'The Hells Angel ' also party crashed and I am now back to making excuses for procrastinating again...for not starting work. I know, i know....I should and all....but you know how it is.......
"Its vacation now, I will after the school starts...:D
and then I also did meet the supermom, the pretty Suma of 'thinking aloud', and now she's gone and given me a big complex....:D just joking...but now I know, all the
wedding "ooTa's" , I've been eating and the party food, should now be camouflaged under tents....so am now going to go on a diet, " only blog reading, no eating" ....Been away from blogs for a while, I have to apologize....Its been crazy...but I'm not able to finish reading one full post, in one shot...and then by the time I start all over again....the number of unread blogs go up some
more...waaaahhhhh.....
So please bear with me...while I get back my breath , and get back to all of you....

ps : OoTa: in kannada, the local language , means food, a meal.

you can catch the details here...

Shelf full of stories!!

2008-05-15T11:13:00.011+05:30

Whoever said 'moving houses is fun' should be shot..(that will mean me :( straight in the line of fire...) After so many moves, packing , unpacking....throwing away stuff, giving away stuff, hiding toys away(or else, you'll be titled the devil incarnate by your kids, what else?) so you can give it to some one needy...I think I know how much patience I need in the next couple of months..(please pass on all the patience peoples.... )
When you have children who are poles apart when it comes to their 'keep things neat' attitude, your life can be a roller coaster ride.

Well !! I'm now in the process of deciding how to, what to, where to , which to...throw or give away. I havent moved any bit in that direction. But this morning while I was looking around my house...I was petrified. Forget the kids, I have to handle the monster called 'ME' , my space and my umpteen books.

BOOKS ah!!!

You should know that people are divided into readers and non-readers (wow!! what a terribly new insight !! hehe) Readers are split into newspapers and magazines only ( like my husband) and book-readers( like me :D ) Book readers are now further sent into borrow thy book (not me :( ) and buy thy book (ME!!!!!!) .
Now since I've already gone ahead and done the needful of buying the book, I also happen to fall into the category that cares for books as a physical entity.. how much more heavy can that get :(. Those of us who believe that a house without books , is hardly distinguishable from a Sauna or a wigwam. That is why I worry so much about bookshelves and how they are filled.
Should shelves be adjustable, ( ideal, but time consuming) or should they just sit there...any way, no one gets to changing them regularly. (No wonder the set of World books always occupies the same position on any shelf in any house I move into ?? )
Should I keep them clean behind glass or open to eye, the hand and the air????

Should I keep one space entirely for all the books, or should I just populate all the rooms by spreading them out? Should I keep my children's books accordingly in their individual rooms or should I have a common space? What if I start a war because i've kept one reference book in the other room and they don't share?? Am I going to be held responsible for their fights??
I tried by jotting down where i'll need to put them in...and here goes my fanatical thoughts

1. There must be a shelf in the kitchen, for cookery books. (How else do I explain, why I go and buy them, 'cos they looked so beautiful with all the lovely colored prints of exotic dishes, I might never even make. They surely know how to lure me.... Those dairies where half the things written down in varied coloured pens,(with a few phone numbers too) 'cos I just can't let go of my mom's house tastes, but still end up cooking things that my mother-in-law cooked)

2. A small shelf (ok a huge sack maybe!) for those bathrooms. Ok this is tricky I know. Many people who read extensively in the loo ( my husband....yes, yes) , take in their reading (its mostly newspapers, or the magazines that I subscribe to :) ] and take them out again (more or less damp-smudged or folded out of recognition) Maybe I should ask publishers to start 'water proof series for bathroom reading'. But in the present day, clinical ,apartment bathrooms...i'll be glad if I can even hold the book a lil far apart from my nose.

3. The children's room. Civilzed habits need to be taught ;). We were always told not put the book down open on its face, not to make dog ears to mark out pages...must put the books back in their shelf ( my older son does it very religiously...sometimes to the point of frustration...) So should they be , appetizing to look at ( everything should be...if I need my junior-curly-poo to eat), easy to reach and of course well stocked ( their books get read very fast...have to still learn that art )

4. If the husband is lucky enough to have his own space...wherever it maybe..dressing room, bedside, wardrobe...god knows where,he will do reading ( I can sigh a relief here...I just have to go back to point 2. :D His set will most probably, no, surely ,have just some comics...all at the same time in one place, the last weeks newspaper, and yes, the occassional vogue magazine..he needs some eye candy too.

5.Passages and landings ( oh oh...I don't have them...no stairs inside! ) so one down....are for seldom-wanted but can't throw away books. Just because I got it as a consolation prize in my school days or his father gifted it to him when he went away on a trip for the first time...no matter that the book has been read so many time over even by the roaches that were present in some of the houses..

6.Read somewhere that the dining area also makes a good space for books...the dictionary ( so that we can correct our kids stat, and what else do I do with the millions of Oxford dictionaries???...)questions can be answered on the spot...but houses now being so huge that the distance from the dining to the farthest bookshelf in the bedroom could be just a few couple of feet away..I can strike that out, and moreover its always a race to finish meals anyway.

It would be easy to multiply the list of dilemnas with which any normal bookish person faces. But at the end of it all, I know ,The more books are handled and used ( by loving though grubby hands ) the less dusting, artificial attention they need. Neglect a book and it wilts visibly. We all know what that means???

How about this????

But at the end of it all...I would want my house which says 'Come on in' and not 'All hope abandon, ye, who enter here'.

For all you MOMS!

2008-05-12T07:36:00.004+05:30

So ,the weekend passed and all us, 'feel good moms', had a blast...why? You would think? 'Cos no one remembered it was 'Mother's Day' and none wished us :(. We were 4 moms sitting there sulking....but never felt any less happy. We were , only too much. The weekend had been a great stress reliever. And what more does a mom want other than to see her kids happy and playing with their friends, no tantrums, food polished off frequently. Dads, lounging around, no deadlines being spoken of...It was a truly a great Mother's day for all of us. It wasn't planned that way , so it was fun.

And while we were there...we even got to see other creations ....a beautiful one at that. It was a tailor bird's nest. And to our surprise, the lil one was still inside, all eyes closed and cuddled up in the small cosy space. The kids were too excited and would not leave their side.Clicked some pictures, and here they are...not great quality...what do you expect when the pictures are from my cellphone, and there's too much excitement around ..

I logged on today after the lovely weekend...and read Preethi's scrap, and she was sulking happily, ( we all know, her family loves her and so do we :) )..when I thought I'd put this poem out, that I had written, and thought this was a good time when the whole melodrama of the special day has died down...and this goes out to all the mothers out here..

Ma!!
The one word, that can bring forth
The cooing when her baby was born
The silly songs she sang while,
diapers that were changed on and on

The smile she held on
even though the world around her rolled on:
The one who remembers all baby's feeds
and even the family's around her.

She says she is tired
but she doesn't know what she says
she is still seen in all spaces
And walking around in a daze

Eat your vegetables, she says
yuck! tomatoes...the son says!
she makes Ravan look like a mouse
But she's all marshmallow inside.

The tomatoes are there,
pureed and camouflaged
Eat he must, and he will
Or else, he'll be grounded.

'Take the jacket, its gonna rain', she said
Oh! mom! Its so bright and sunny, you're crazy
And walks out with just a shirt trying to dare
and sure as she said, it pours and pours
through the rainbows and thunderous roars.

She's bony, not as the other mom's are
But when sonny needs a hug
The warmth and love hidden in there
envelops and fills, and spreads through all.

What does she get, when she stays
Long after the bus has gone
waving her hands, to the small little hands.
Until she can't see them no more
Eyes still glossy with unshed tears.

She's the one who makes us feel
the world is still beautiful
Don't worry at all
Your momma's there
She'll kiss evil, good bye after all.

song-o-'algia

2008-05-07T08:16:00.015+05:30

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Dhitang dhitang bole by Hemant mukherjee.
Now 25 or so years later, I come to know it was a popular song by Hemanta Mukherjee, and not some song that our school teachers had got from divine interventions..

It was in the early 80's...and all I can remember are white and red-striped saree clad girls giggling away, while the man friday from the make up market, sweaty shirt, and oily hair, went about his school duty of slapping on, the same coloured powder, wet with wet sponge, and the same horrendous red lipstick, expertly ignorant ( note that, he would be brought in form the erstwhile Prabhat Kalavidaru )of the varied coloured faces he was pasting it on.

Heard this song, and suddenly went into a trance...Not that latest Goan kind of trance... :) ..That trance of course is different where you remember a host of things very unrelated to this post...The kind i'm talking of, is the one that transports you to a world that had seen better days, or maybe sepia days...We had danced to this song while in school for some inter-school dance competition....
Some songs do that to me. A song can remind me of the day I had danced to it while in kindergarten..( oh yes!!! I remember the 1re cone icecreams too that we would get in the school tuck shops on friday!! ) or maybe even the time where I had stayed put in the bathroom, because I got stuck on one line and for the life of me, couldn't remember the next few lines...it was the non-cellphone days, so couldn't even call up and get the much needed bath- finisher from my trusted friends (don't we all have at least one of them...)

The trippy numbers some takes me to the times when we had performed as a group from our colony for some organisation. I remember , the place "Town Hall" It was very prestigious, then, when we would say I danced there or sang or whatever there...remember the time we put alta on our feet , mandatory for those school dances, those endless hours we sat and made jewels out of think ropes and silver foil. My school had insisted on giving us the much needed art-hobby, timepass inspirations, from our school days itself...all accessories have to be handmade...no renting out stuff or buying...pffftt... so we would sit for hours, ( of course very thrilled on having missed some boring History classes) using glue...the very authentic maida paste...yucks...it would always stink after a while I remember. And our fingers all dirty and pichky....no match for the present day fevicol, and gluesticks....with their varied fragrances.
Then there were those days, where if we girls had to dress up as a boy in some play or a dance, we had to customarily wear a beard and a moustache...poor guys, they would look more sissier than us 'boys' . And to think they were already squirming in their half pants for having been railroaded into performing along with 'girls'...snigger , snigger....the very same guys grew up and followed the girls around later, is a different story.

Those were the days, when we would get that sneak preview into our hallowed teachers dancing to show us those difficult steps...now when I look back I realise they were just as human as we were...so why shouldnt they have danced? But you know how it is the teacher -student equation..
Isn't it strange how we put 'roles' onto different people? And they just cannot step out of line, or else they'll be gossiped all over the campus..

It helped us bond, with our teachers, our friends...yes, even those smarty pants who would refuse to share their 'chole bathures'...in exchange for the very boring chapathi sabji or better still ,curd rice..with the small pickle twinkling on top...(was that vadu manga, that my friend brought every single day???)

I still can go back to those days to the last minute of our school day, we had to sing the prayer song...it went something like this..." At the end of **shift our feet behind with half closed eyes**, just kneel and...**hold onto the chair** pray. Thank you Lord...**lift the chair** for my work and **place it upside down**... play, I'll...**on the table...while bending down without moving our heads down......and moving to the end of the row...so that we are the first to be out of the door...gosh!! ( and dumb as were, we would actually think that the teachers wouldn't know...huh!!!! innocence! )
oh yes!!! those were fun times....
But we grew up and our songs changed from precious Lords, and dance songs- mmm, I think the song "dus gayo paapi bichua...may not have ever wanted to stay that long being danced upon as much as it were in school events ( some outsorced from folk, country, villages) to more filmy numbers, la bollywood ishtyle...then some of those soppy rock songs...

Till date the song 'hungry eyes' from the movie Dirty Dancing only reminds me of the terrace top grooving in the wee hours of a misty morning in a friend's house,while eating bread and butter, and some leftover cheese macaroni, but never the actual song from the film. But i'd like that image to remain..cos "Those were the days ..." and it leaves a smile, like a whisper.
Songs are many...and if I start...I must just get stuck and then chew my own brains up 'cos I'll just have to forget some line, somewhere, and then start haunting the rest of you out here..
Has any song like this transported you back to somewhere, that can just bring on the 'sigh' now??? Let me know...who knows we might just have crossed paths somewhere

Angries?? Punch me!!

2008-05-03T12:32:00.005+05:30

The phone rang for the umpteenth time, and she ignored it. It was happening for the last few days. She was upset and stressed. Her husband was trying to apologize and make things better, but here she was holding a grudge against him for something he had done years ago...she was not able to forget or forgive.
"You have hurt me so much in the last few years....so, you have no right to be happy now. I am going to make your life miserable" is what she thought and what she wanted.

Can an individual be responsible for his emotions? I feel , the responsibility lies in the individual himself. Why should one let their feelings on another. Anger can be destructive. Have you ever felt the need to hold a grudge against another? When you analyse it, you realise the solution lies in your own hands.

Let go, and then you'll find yourself at peace. Irrational thoughts are crazy making! They keep us in victim mode and chaos. What can you control....your own thoughts and actions. What you assume is only what you assume. Assumptions may or may not be true. There may be other reasons why things happen. Jumping to conclusions is another form of making an assumption and acting on it as if it were true.

Some people live so much in the hurts of the past that they do not realize that another person has changed or is trying to change. They keep an old version of the person in their mind. Sometimes people do change, so do an update in your mind about them. Life is too short to hold something against another person.

Bringing up old issues from the past during an argument, which diverts the argument into old unresolved hurts and pain while avoiding the current issue. 'You have been doing this to me for years. Last year, you did this to hurt me so, I must bring it up again and again.' This way of fighting brings in every thing but the kitchen sink and your main door to be angry about.

Happiness in life can be achieved when you learn to break into your negative thinking. Mistakes in the way you think causes depression, helplessness and anger, keeping you from being at peace.We all have irrational thoughts, which keep us caught in anger and neurotic behavior. Mistaken beliefs are beliefs and defenses we build up and replay with anger so we do not have to know the truth about our self. Is it true? When one imposes rigid expectations on themselves, other people, and the world because of their beliefs, they are likely to experience unnecessary emotional distress.

Blaming others is a way of life for some people. If you hear yourself continually saying, 'It's not fair!' then you are focusing on the negative instead of going into problem solving. Much of life really isn't fair! So what? Keeping score of mistakes from others and dwelling on them creates an environment of hurt and suspicion. Having a list of 'shoulds' for the partner, which are inconsistent with his or her personality, will undermine a relationship. Focusing on unfairness keeps them caught in anger, resentment and grudges. (Hey, life frequently is unfair, but focusing on it only makes you more miserable!)

Holding a grudge , fans the negative thoughts and anger. Are we trying to protect ourselves from hurt by grudging someone? No one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are entirely your own.

As the saying by Kahil Gibran goes, 'If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?'

Swalpa adjust maaDi!

2008-05-01T09:16:00.006+05:30

Nimma mane hathra, maLe bantha? (did it rain near your house? )
Thats an oft repeated question out here.

Summer's been fantastic in Bangalore...no doubts about it. It makes us look like fools half the time. What would you say, if my car zooms into this slick tarred, dry, scorched road ,looking like a cat has been dragged into the muddy puddle...
Yes, that is my Bengaluru for you? You'd think i'm joking, or i've run my car thru the carwash and the muddy ground.
It happened while I was driving back from picking up my son. Thundershowers threatened me so sincerely...you would think I'd panic...nah...
I know them only too well...they were just warning me that at the end of the road, it was raining, and raining cats and dogs...and some trees too...

Strange but true.
I remember while in school, we would wear our raincoats, get drenched in the rain, get into the bus, and hold onto the bags for dear life, worrying about how to explain the wet uniforms to our mother, inspite of having the raincoat on!!! But what do we see when we get down...dry, earth. No signs of rain..
How do you expect our mom's to even remotely believe us?????

Its been playing these games the last few days..."rain in the 15th cross brought down 3 sampige trees, while the erstwhile 18th cross maami's were drying out their papads, making use of the summer shine, to store up for the year ahead :("
And you say, life is boring!!??

For all those who are suffering from the 'oh!! so hot! summer here', there are a few tips put out by bikerdude here...check it out

The chain spreads!

2008-04-30T17:15:00.006+05:30

Many times when a thought flits through my mind...i'm either procrastinating, or dissecting it to bits...the butcher will be ashamed of himself.

When it comes to making decisions, i'm the big NO, NO....MAYBE, OR actually it could be ....so my life normally is a lot more exciting than I think it should be :D. I just have stopped thinking...'cos I might just about start doing the scrutiny again..

When I went over to Ceedy's blog, 'cos I had this bright stars twinkling against his name in my blogroll....I was sent into the think, think think...drum all over again.....

But here I was thinking not why, or where or which...but what is this all about????

there is this tag, he's tagged me with....like a chain mall doing rounds....but since it means spreading love around the blogosphere...I said chal...let me spread it too..( wow!! such a generous soul am I!!! )

And like He himself has said :

this is all about sharing love among bloggers i guess....so there is no place for logic....

Like a tree
spreads it branches,
So shall love
spread its emotions,
one and all
feel it and absorb it.

The love-link tag.The Love-link Tag is another of those Linky Love game where you only have to tag 10 person in one post but still there is no actual limit (you can tag more if you want!).

Once tagged, you have to copy paste the link in this post, and make them grow!Do not delete any of the links and be honest to yourself!copy paste the link in this post, and make them grow!

BennyLiew, RamblingMoo, Mum & Kids In Wonderland, Judelittle, Our mini blogsphere, Rooms in My Heart, http://janiceng.blogspot.com/, ChinNee, Jo-N, LadyJava's Lounge, Strange but True, Mariuca's Perfume Gallery,Meet Uncle J-Uncle J, Farah,aNgRiAniWoRLd,How’s Life Bout,The Three Heroes, Ceedy, prats

So here are my tagged ones ...

and here's a small video of Beatles spreading love

Quizzinnaire'd!!!!!!

2008-04-27T18:07:00.005+05:30

Suma of Thinking aloud tagged me on this....and yes...its fun doing such tags, which helps you brush out the cobwebs that are forming in your mind....and so I thought, speed test I may not pass, but take it up I sure will...

so here goes my history.....

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater: Considering I have forgotten how movies for pure adults only look or sound in theatres ( courtesy-the 2 brats), this was a treat....when the theatres put up a sign "CHILDREN BELOW 18 NOT ALLOWED" we moms couldn't help but screech with joy...yay!!!!!

Yes it was the over hyped RACE starring Saif ali khan and Bipasha and ....
Loved the songs and loved sitting through the movie and getting to eat the whole tub of popcorn by myself...and drinking just one drink...not having to get up for the in between the movie loo breaks..."sigh" ...That sure was a great stress buster for us 4 moms who had gone to put up our feet...oh yes...

What Book Are You Reading:

Not one but many...don't know how it happened, but I started so many and am just not able to finish any :(. Some just becos I got bored, some because I forgot where I kept the book...so picked up a new one...

Well the list is here:

Pavane : by Keith Roberts

The Glory of Womanhood - discourses by Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Orhan Pamuk's - My name is Red

Gitanjali by Rabindranath Tagore
and of course the customary Mills and Boons... ( those who feel like strangling my neck...go away....its been felt like being strangled by millions so far...heheh )

Favorite Board Game:
Got be Scrabble and another very traditional game called 'Choukabara'...its a game played on 5*5 squares, and can be played by 2-4 players. Its fun and easy. My kids love to play it...

Favorite Magazine:

If I tell you that I love going and sitting in the beauty parlours, barbers and dentists, mostly because of all the rusty ole magazines they have , would you hold it against me????

But I love the Femina, Reader's Digest, Architecture+Digest, Animation Reporter....

Favorite Smells:

The fragrance of the early morning..just can't describe it here...its divine...the smell of the fresh morning dew, with the green of trees and the fresh air..., the smell of "Jasmine" flowers in the evening, the rain kissed earth, babies' breath, smells of the ocean.. curry leaves spluttering in hot ghee tadka, freshly baked cakes...(I should stop now...or else i'll be headed to insanity)

Favorite Sound:
Raindrops falling , the sound sof water...be it at the ocean, waterfalls, or even a simple swimming pool..a baby's gurgle, and my sons voices...especially after they return from school.

Worst Feeling In The World:
Helplessness...this can hit you rock bottom. Feeling of guilt. The feeling you get when you see your parents leave your home ,after they have visited you.

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake? ::
Oh , I wish I had another few minutes? Is it Idli for breakfast??? Then I can go back to sleep for 5 minutes more...if it isn't "move your butt" or else ......

Favorite Fast Food Place::
Anything that has chaats---Gullu's is on the top of the list.

Future Child's Name:
HUH!!!!!!!!!!! Whose ???? Mine??? No way!!! I'm done with 2...and they have been a handful...
If you so like, i'll name your's , or anyone's , just let me know

Finish This Statement. "If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...”::
Travel all around the world, and send my parents on such trips too....

Do You Drive Fast? ::
I believe in live and let live...heheh so I let live the other drivers around me...

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?::
Aren't Homo Sapiens animals?????? ;) After a heavy dinner yes...I do sleep with one lol

Storms-Cool Or Scary? ::
As long as I am not getting hit by them..its very exciting....I love them. They are way too cool

What Was Your First Car?
The first one I drove was a Fiat. But I had a Maruthi 800

Favourite drink: ::
Tea, tea, tea, tea.....ooopsss, sorry, I overdid it....and Lassi...oh yes...and Vodka!

Finish This Statement, "If I Had The Time I Would .....” ::
Learn Kalaripayattu and do theatre.

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?::
I eat anything on a vegetable....stem, roots ,leaf...if its cooked, its inside me.

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice? :: Burgundy...but knowing I can't defy nature any more...I would prefer it to remain natural....

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In.:
Now I'm so boring.....
Its just Bangalore...if I write bengaluru, would it count as another city????

Favorite Sports To Watch:
Cricket, Gymnastics, Tennis, football, figure skating

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
She is such a loving and adorable woman....easy going and friendly. I'm so glad I have her as my friend.

What's Under Your Bed?
A carton filled with books and what I am sure is a floor...flat and white :D

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
Lol......Of course, without a doubt....

Morning Person Or Night Owl?
Considering I am called 'Gube' by my friends for my ability to work thru nights....night owl yes....but can't sleep through mornings too ....

Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?
Sunny bunny, and thats for me

Favorite Place To Relax:
The Beach, My mom's house...

Favorite Pie:
I'm scared to put it down, then the cravings will start....
APPLE PIE with lots of whipped cream ..mmmmmmm

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Black current, Rum and Raisin, and the old favourite Vanilla...

Of All The People You Tagged This To, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?

PS ( Please, oh pretty please....)
J from On the rocks....
ceedy : reflect and let us know
Veens....rumble along no gal...for me?
shruthi: Will this help get you out of the bad mood????
C'mon...take it up...

Muchos Gracias!!!

2008-04-24T08:14:00.009+05:30

Little things can make you smile and bring that 'serene sigh' back into your life! Yes its true!

The last few weeks have been hectic and a little stressful. I had ranted about it here and had thought it would ease the weight of my mind....and it did. The support I got from all of you shows that i'm not alone here and I can face whatever comes along...I just need to be open to change.

Yesterday, while I was complaining to a friend of mine about how God seemed to be too busy answering every other person's prayers...she said this " Its all in order...maybe he was listening to my prayer today...next time i'll wait ,for you to ask before I do". It was said in humour but there was so much of sincerity in her, it brought a lump to my throat, and then I smiled 'cos it was so cute.

But what gave me the grin was this little strip....sent to me by Ceedy. It was so sweet of him to think of this strip and me...and it made me feel so "puffed up"...oh yes, just like that big mother hen who runs after her lil ones in Tom and Jerry cartoons...Thanks Ceedy!! You sure brought back my silly grin...that had gone on its own vacation.

And what can be seen as coincidence,...a few hours after I read the comment in my blog , I get a mail from Preethi from just a mother of two. And what do I see..., She had written this:
This one was really worth forwarding--Calvin and Hobbes
A big Hi to all the moms,
This one sure struck a chord.
Have a great day.
P

oh yes!! Thanks Preethi...you don't know how good it felt on seeing that. More than the cartoon....it was her thoughts when she sent it across...
I know many forwards get sent....without a blink of an eye...but how many are actually siffed through...and sent to the right persons...

This Lil smarty pants Calvin sure does those small jigs to my heart....oh yes!!! there is that bit of Calvin in me too...and his mom is present in all of us mothers...
and its so heartening to hear him say all those nice things about his mom.. (leaves me with hopes for my son)

Sometimes, there are people you meet across your life...some who leave that imprint, inspite of not treading too hard. They never expect anything in return nor do they ask for that bit of your smile. It takes just a blink of the eye or just a single hi...and there is that connection.
You might never talk with each other regularly, but they are there with the same cheer that you have for them when you meet for a while. I am so blessed to have so many such friends out here...and I must say...I really treasure all of them.

Have you ever felt at peace sometimes...just thinking of someone? Just hearing a hi or even better having spoken to the same person, precisely at the same moment you were thinking of them?? Has there been a moment when a face or name flits past your eyes and you realise you're caught smiling?????

Have you ever said a thank you even if it was silent!? Try it...you'll catch yourself smiling.

PS: Isn't it just like me to forget??!!!!!!
Thanks to all you out here.....this was my 100th post....and it went past me and I hadn't even noticed...aaawww...

Royals skinned!!!

2008-04-21T10:15:00.005+05:30

The media all over have glorified the event so much, that I've lost all my thoughts trying to search for what I love in it the most- the sport called cricket!!
Yes, i'm talking of the overhype called IPL.. After the gazillion number of saucy, ketchup dripping reviews, over hyped Mallya event...yes, the terribly thrust in your face -'redskins'....the match though a wash out gave a lot to write about though.
Didn't HE want just that?? I for one am very biased. I was sad by the end of it (SRK being right there didnt lift my spirits at all :( )

A cricket enthusiast...(I might not remember dates and events!) but i'll remember how well matches were fought and how good it was to watch each game years ago.

I remember crowding around the black and white TV set, in those yonder years, where only one or two houses would boast of a set...and the rest of the cheerleaders (yes, it was us , entirely cheering our team on, through prayers, and lucky charms and what nots!)would feverishly finish their tasks at home, bring in their munchies ( yes, it was
mandatory!! ) and come and occupy their respective positions in front of our TV set. Cricket then, was about batsmen, bowlers, and the really interested spectators. The game was played in true spirit. I can rememebr being made to sit in one awkward position just so that the 'luck' would stay with our team!! Who can forget the champagne flowing and the really happy faces when Kapil's devils won the world cup?
Yes years later, we did win a few tournaments too...world cup, etc...but the spirit had changed.

19th - the day the IPL was launched officially, I nearly cried seeing how tortured the real fans of real cricket felt. The cheerleaders stole the show with their skins...wasn't that all they had on ???
The inaugural function was brilliant, so spectacular. I really hope they had stopped at that and started the game as it was meant to be :(

It was star filled...and the spectators were also filled "stars in their eyes" ....drooling over the bollywood and sandalwood stars....Can you imagine, the mind of the players, if they were to play the game watching the backs of all those spectators. It can be spirit-diffusing. I used to admire SRK a lot...but somehow after that day, I was so disappointed. I can not forget how he kept dancing his jig around, and distracted everyone...and how the cops included were staring up at him..

My son was sad too...reason being: When he went to take Shane Warne's autograph..he caught him staring at the 'skins', when he was supposed to be watching cricket and the match. And this they call cricket!!!!!
It was more like 'crik-ed', necks and all :(

For those who want to watch a clip of the ceremony, check here

Disclaimer : These are my own views and whoever wants to sue me....try it...

my eyes!

2008-04-17T10:17:00.005+05:30

What do you do, when you feel crawlies all over you???

Well I for one, havent done anything...I know it wont work, cos some other bigger crawlie will creep over you, making you feel like a complete idiot.

Ranting I am, yes!!! reasons are so many...but I dont want to get into the mode of whining all the time..( looks like i've done enough, and not many would want to hear that all the time :( )

All these years, (yes, I've had quite a few adding up on the abacus!) I thought I had some sense, common or rare, it didn't matter. It was there and I walked around head held high, nose down though...I had thought if you wanted something really bad...it would just come to you, you only had to work hard. It had been working pretty well till a few years ago...when suddenly the dream machine that dished out solution to sens(ers) like me, went kaput!!!!

More than a decade old of parenting , put me under a false sense of security that if people around me say "You have such a wonderful son, he's so endearing" means that he is one and I needn't think much. I had done a great job. But my balloon blew out of proportion...and yes, its on the verge of bursting!!!

My son, who's so into cricket and his sports and stuff...has all things going for him. He's a good student, gets good grades. A mom, who is there all the time for him...trying her best to juggle an overly active younger son, endless activities all in one...and getting him to live his dreams un-hurdled (is there a word like that?? )

When his coach told me this one day " He's such a lovely boy, something about him touches me...so hardworking and caring" I looked around ...surely he wasn't talking to me. But he was. That got me thinking....where was I going wrong then??

Why does he get so aggressive when he's with me? I know he's entering the teens next year, but is it so bad? I'm more like a villain in his life. And when you're at the receiving end it sure doesn't look too entertaining, like in the movies...It hurts like hell, knowing that you have not succeeded in making your own happy.
Where do I draw a line between taking care of both with equal ernest and being unfair to either?
The lines blur, cos there isn't one. Any parent who has more than one child knows there are no favourites...they are like 'your eyes', no one is better than the other.
It gets exhausting searching in all directions for answers. Hopefully the answers will fall into my lap like a pack of cards....one after the other...

All I want is to be a good mom, supermom I needn't be..but someone who will not have to think twice before she talks to her son or does something for him..unfettered and fearless.

Flights !!

2008-04-14T07:51:00.003+05:30

Each time a bride steps out of her secure warm family, she hopes for just one thing. A safe, loving, and a happy wedded life. Does everyone get what they wish for?...this was one story I had written in response to the prompt at Writer's island . Its over here, and you'll find the answer.

The why? chromosome...

2008-04-11T11:58:00.011+05:30

The relationship between men and women has always been a love-hate type. Isn't it true?

Men!!! Yes...how we would love to hate them just as much as we love to love them. I just can't hate any person. I can only dislike some of their habits or their ways. Aren't we all doing something that can bother another person. If one were to be living a life where every action of his/hers is loved by others, then maybe there is a catch somewhere.

So when Joy tagged me on the 'list' of things I hate about the opposite gender, all I could think of is the cold wars, the glares and humpfff ,i'd get from the ones I write about. But I'll go ahead and let out the small bits that ruffle my smooth feathers..I thought i'd have a long list, but somehow its not that bad....

1.Constructive criticism: Well, it's hard for me to shut up. I'm sure there are some who'll agree totally with that here.To women, nagging feels like the most logical thing in the world," says Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., author of Divorce Busting. "We think, If someone isn't doing what I asked, they must not have heard me. So we say it again. And then we say it louder." And when it gets really loud, i'll get to hear "Stop nagging"
But then why don't these men or the boys just do what is asked?

2. After all, being Command Central of the Domestic Universe isn't exactly a glamorous job — no pay, limited respect. In fact, I'm now planning a leave of absence: Next Sunday, I'm kicking the remote off the couch and taking a nap myself. Oh is it Friday already???
Now when I finally decided this, I realise that there are chores to be finished before taking that nap. But the men in my household dont see that nor do they look for it. What is it with them , that they like living in a dump?? I don't see them walking out of the door, with dirty clothes or hair out of place...I can smell the whiff of deoderant, their gels and the crisp shirts which i'm sure all of them love to wear (however much they won't say it loud).

3. Its very often told that they just wont go asking for directions. Yes!!!!!! they wont. Try telling them that they've not gotten on the right road, then you'll see daggers....or better still they might turn the tables saying 'we distracted them with our nagging'.All you need to do is roll down the window and ask the bored guy standing on the street, who I know for sure, would love to talk to any one at that point of time..so what if its just to tell the other directions, that might not go anywhere. Why men can't stop and ask for direction till it's 40 kms into the wrong direction?! Like, isn't it more sensible to just ask for directions? You save on time, petrol and energy AND LOTS OF NAGGING :D

4. Sleep! They work a hard week, slogging over deadlines, meeting with ill tempered colleagues or whatever...when they get back home and get a chance to get a shut eye...thats what they do, shut it off completely. And pigs can go fly kites, but nothing will wake them up...unless of course their cellphone rings..talk and go back to sleep :(. They can sleep through the day, how do they do it???

5.A heart-to-heart conversation with the partner may not be an equal trade, after all, since in the currency of emotions, a woman's feelings are worth much less. Have you ever seen a man cry? A man bursts into tears after a tough day at the office and concerned co-workers rush to support him, if a woman were to do it..her distress is barely acknowledged. Yes, I know we women can be real sob stories, but we are being true to our feelings. We live our sadness in total authenticity. We reach out ...but what is it with men, who think they are macho only if they drown within their own lava of emotions?

Men show anger and stubbornness and it is expected of them, but just when the woman lets out her soul rendering scream, she's thought to have lost it??

6. Would it kill to remember? They remember the names of cricketers from Bangladesh and the scores each player has made, but cannot for the life of them remember birthdays, anniversaries and buying gifts. What kind of selective memory is that?

7. Birth rights! : They have a birth right over the Remote control. Seems it is more like a manly symbol that they need to carry around at home, I guess. I can often see my hubby hanging around acting like a lost puppy,if i'm watching some dumb serial on television...the minute I switch off, and walk out, he's with the remote, like his life depends on it ..spaced out but still
watching those faded colored english movies...And the Musical Channels/Remote Control game -- we might as well give up.
That will never end. I still have to watch one entire movie or listen to a full song at one go.

8. Wow!! man!! what a hunk!! I 've heard this once too often, and yes, it'll be the woman saying it...openly to her own partner.
But have you heard of a man doing that??? OGLING!!!! They love to ogle at women ..and when asked if they noticed how pretty she was, or what lovely shoes she was wearing, they'll act totally ignorant. I'm sure they would have sized her up in totality in a few seconds. They have that duh!! who??? where? look.

9.We all know that men are the kings of annoying games. Who else gets continuous entertainment from Noisy Bodily Functions Games? Who else could live off of beer and playstation? Who else can scan every channel on the t.v. faster than light? Who? Men that's who. There comes a point in life that the "boys" that play these annoying games grow up to be "men" and end the games, right? Wrong. Think...how many "men" do you know that still look longingly at the playstation display in the electronics store as you walk past? How many "men" still utter the phrase, "wow! what cables, it'll look good with my playstation." .

I know one too many...I had my hubby and kids ( yes, they too :( ), spending the entire day in the electronic store in Singapore, and he was still not satisfied, 6 floors and still not happy????? The stores all looked the same to me though!!

10. Romance just flew out of the window the moment the man walked in the door!!! Whats with them? He's so clueless with flowers, with gifts and more so with clothes...they look you up so many times, head to toe (ok! i'm exaggerating), but still can't get the clothes size right. Their idea of a romantic getaway would be a romantic movie...yeah! By romantic, he means the ones
in which the good guy wins, the bad guy loses, and the big, studly, macho man freak gets to hit it with whichever one of the babes he finds....but my idea of romance and his are real clash of Titans

Yes, they can be exasperating, and oh so irksome at times...yet, I'd love to be around the one. He brings out the love, the romance, the mechanic, the plumber, the cook, the terror in me...and i'm learning, and fast!! I owe it all to him..I need to make peace soon or else.....a household with 3 boys, sounds like heaven on earth right???? More women's horlicks needed to catch up with them and their 6 floors of running around.

A song to smooth ruffled feathers :)
Just love this song

Kahaani Ab Tak

2008-04-02T09:45:00.019+05:30

Kal.....

Looks like i've been pulled into this quagmire called vacations. Its been to easy to let go of schedules and sit back and look at re-runs of swimming, snacking, screaming all over...Suddenly I feel as if i'm in a tele serial. Don't know when it'll end. The age jump happens, and we still look the same...brains run in the same direction, whether its the older one's misbehaviour or the
younger one's tantrums.

But to look back and see a totally line-free (stress free) face,eyes shining bright with the anticipation of more play and less routine actually brings smiles to my exhausted face. It also goads me to reach into the cave of blogs and think up new posts...stir a few feathers and smooth yet some more.

This was when I remembered, the tag that Thinking aloud had passed on to me asking me to go flashback..Filmy?? naaah.....the visions of cycle wheels spinning to show that time had passed ,comes flashing ..

The tag goes like this:

These are the rules of the tag:
Post links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

So all ye out there, hold tight while I send you across

Family ....
Aptly said :
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.-- Jane Howard
Oh yes!! I'll be lost without mine...and I have been showing it off once too often :), so bear with me while you know how insanity creeped in as they do this to me, while he does this all the time. This one is my favourite, 'cos she's not around for me to bully anymore.
Each time I travel...its a tale altogether..and here it gets spun all over

Friends:
The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.-- Henry David Thoreau
Aint that true...
This one started off my poetic trails..., When she got married, I was too enraptured with the ceremony that I had to put it down here , when we all went travelling you think i'd leave you'll out? And then when you think of all those lovely blog friends i've made, and those who bring a spirit of joy into my life...I had written a post here . It never ends here...there are many
more...

Yourself:

When I was created, maybe they forgot to put the stopper on my chatter..so here I went gloating about myself...
I started off thinking I had no idea where it would go..., got to realise I am as traditional as any would go . There are days when I can go off tangent...like when I had to offer this but I am a person who has to praise somebody if they are good and thank them when I've recieved something from them, be though a smile.

Your love:

Kids....I just love being around them. They bring that wonderful secret of joy into my life. And I spend many a time, doing stuff for them...I had blogged about it when I organised this

I love the beach! Yes...just love it endlessly...and you'll know how much here
I love reading poetry...and this was one of my favourites.. and then when I realised I was going on lining them down, I started this to sate my ego.
I love reading and I love blogging, you'll know how much if you just go to my blog roll....they are a wonderful bunch out there...
And with this....

Flashback ends...
Tan ta da.....

Don't know why, but this song just crawled into my mind.... I think I do...I'm always adding songs to suit my mood, or words or situation...so can I be far here :)

Since many have done or gotten tagged for this already...thought i'd leave it open. For all those wanting to delve into their past ..*feeling very devious* go ahead and pick this up....would love to come along and see what you'll have been upto...

Tickled religion!

2008-03-31T18:27:00.006+05:30

I'ts a very Indian thing......the more u criticise....the more it seems you know, said my friend

To a child , art is depicting his thoughts on paper, in the form of lines and circles. Does this mean , he is wrong?

When a child depicts his family on paper, is there a bias in his creativity? Most kids i've come across start off with stick figures and when they proudly show it to their parents, there is an outburst of features, and even actions and thoughts to that figure, brief as it may be.

But do we say 'NO', Papa does not look like this?

Wasn't that his interpretation of his father? Why then ,does age mellow the tolerance level and suddenly loom out large at adults.

Take the example of Gods! ( It is not about God as in religion, but as in interpretation...)

As God , he is unlimited. He has many names and many forms. Allah-Buddha-Jesus-Ram. All are one.God is not abstract. He has both the impersonal and the personal aspects to his personality. If there is a God with a form, I want to see Him. Its pointless in believing something without proof.
Isn't art an expression of freedom. The mind which is creative is drawing out what it percieves and what it feels. Is there limits to it? Is there a restriction as to how far it can soar?

I have always wondered why people criticize Art from the creative point of view. If there is a technical flaw, it makes sense to educate the artist on his shortcomings. But can there be a flaw in creative thoughts? Has anyone seen God?

I read this in a forum of creative artists, which had a depiction of a character of an Indian God. The character was visualised by the artist and he had given his own interpretation to it, but it apparently did not live upto the "Indian-ness" of GOD. They asked him to refer to another famous artists work. Isn't that unfair?

Did the famous artist know God? Wasn't that his interpretation too, and it was accepted..apparently, his critiques would have had their head severed..According to his work, "In many of his paintings, he has modeled Hindu Goddesses on the women living in the southern parts of India."

So why can't another have his own vision?

Isn't this India? Only here can we be pampered for our varied cultural background. To say that Art- is a discipline of insistent questioning, a sense of wonder and childlike mind of wonder and compassion, is to make a statement of little value.

P.S The thoughts here are purely non-religion based, Its about creativity and not religion.

This time at Sunday scribblings, the prompt was about "out of this world". I've reacted to it in this way here. Would love to hear your reaction to it.

Dusty covers?!!

2008-03-26T08:51:00.003+05:30

I just don't get it!!

I've opened my refrigerator for the umpteenth time, but am yet to figure out how to magically bring in the contents that should be there and not what is.

Took me back to the time, the refrigerator came into my home, many years ago. Those days, everything had to have a place,.The fridge was duly installed in its justified position. A neatly embroidered cover was fished out...and promptly spread over the top.

"Do you have to cover everything in sight, Ma?"

"Yes! its so dusty. It'll become very dirty and discoloured"

A few years later I see this Ad on tv..and I had to literally slap my grinning face...it was an ad for a detergent soap with a netted cover. And the family were parsis.

Thats when I had thought. Nooo , you havent seen us south indians. We have so many things around the house, that there'll be more covers than in a wedding buffet dinner.

The wet grinder, for the thousands of dosas that have to be churned out most mornings, the phone ( here we can place two, one below and one on top), the humble mixer, which needs to be moved, cleaned so many times in a day...but still it can boast of one to keep its bottom warm.

Have you see the TV..though it came much later to our city...I remember the panic my mom went into, when she couldn't find something to cover it..The dimensions were a little vague...you had the front, back, top....she was stumped. But even there she had found a way. A huge table cloth and the deed was done. Then of course, the plasticky covers were sold much to the amusement of all of us at home..which was bought pronto all the way form Bombay.

These very effective sheets, covers, etc of course had another skill that got going.One started to learn embroidery to put on it. Fabric painting classes...and the ads would say...learn fabric painting for table cloths, fridge covers, phone cover,etc. Yes there was a skill being learnt!

Thankfully now the trend has died down, I assume with the rapidly changing appliances and also the fact that the skills attached to them stayed back with the generation that brought the covers in.

And now when I open the refrigerator, I see one more trait of our clan...its always 'curds' ( yoghurt) in there...more than what they need. But one ounce less and there is a stress attack out there...

HUH!!!

2008-03-24T10:11:00.005+05:30

Right now all I feel like doing, is what the little girl in the movie "Corrina, Corrina" did. Whoopi Goldberg had taught her to close her eyes, and blow out her troubles...like when she was at a traffic signal.

When I saw this movie, it sounded so magical. Don't we all at some time feel like doing exactly that.

"Close our eyes, think of all our problems and then blow it away softly." It helps sometimes...to know that you were the one who knew how to deal with it.
Here I am sitting and procrastinating...like I have always done ( I know , its terrible..) especially when you don't want to do it, nor do you want to sit back and whine.

I was sitting here thinking I was a very capable person, able to handle so many issues at once... yes! at some time , they do call it - MULTI TASKING!! Most women are like that...And so are some men!1 I don't want to start a war here lol!!

But its natural...'cos someone I knew had told me when asked why they never saw the route in which they were going, while in a car. He had said, " Why Should I? I have enough on my head worrying about matters relating to my work and finance, etc...I think this is very silly for me to see where i'm going. Its enough if I know that my driver knows well! " At that time , it sounded very impractical...but yes! it made sense...'cos he would never anyway drive on his own.

Coming to me, I need to know, where I go, what I do and why I do??
I thought it was multi-tasking and yes! I was managing well...but then today, I had my bubble burst :( I know it sounds very insignificant...
But then at least there is a name to this...

While you folks go read it...i'll just finish up with
1. the article I was writing,

2. still trying to coax my friend who's online into going out for a movie,

3. wait for the cooker to finish its job so that I can switch it off..and get ready to go out..

4. while still trying to get some information for my husband who needs his project to be done,

5. read up my favourite blogs

6. think of what I have to write there

7 Chat up with my sister who's waiting for updates and and and......so untill the time I get my breath back...

its NOT difficult for me...its easier when I'm stressed...and when i'm full of work to do ...

Vacations are on...and so will my tasks get multiplied...yes..

I am now the official doorman to the umpteen comings in and goings out of my sons, The eternal cook ( though they are never satisfied with whats on offer most times, the silent judge to the fights for the psp's, gameboy time, playtime, swimming time...etc...

I think i'm better off with NADD....it helps me blow away my troubles softly while I am cooking up a storm out here....

Hello! My name is... !!

2008-03-19T00:31:00.010+05:30

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But we wouldn't be buying them by the bunch for our loves if they were called Pokeythorns, would we?

I was reading some article ( destressing helps, when all your mind can think of are theorems, formulae, parts of plants, animals, oops...I started here too...hehhe) and came across a real vague name..called Pitka, its a characted named that in some new Hollywood movie...

In the midst of all my whirling frame of mind...some personal, some academic and some funnies like this...I was reminded of the oh so oft repeated boring saying " Whats in a name? A rose is a rose, ..." Yeah, but why didnt the kings ever spare time and give their sons better names, rather than, the numbers after their own..., now all because of their insensitivity, my kids have to go through so much confusion learning the numbers with the names...1, 2, 3..

Yes, but ever wondered how it would be if you were called such names when all you can think of is to hide ..
Remember what happened to Gogol in Namesake???

I used to have a family when I was much younger...as kids. They were the watchman's family ( weren't they what they were called in those days before the security agencies took over every nook and corner?) while our house was being constructed. Still to come across a more dynamic family. The bread winner, in this case, the Ragi MuDde( the millet balls) winner, who
used to literally bathe himself in alcohol, but still managed to guard the houses under his jurisdiction, with the ease of a Black Cat a la Mission Impossible ishtyle...He had a wonderful family...most who were our playmates, in times of friends' drought...

Their family tree went like this...

The always girth expanding ( read pregnant) wife called MannanGaTti ( I came to know later that it meant block of mud in Tamil )

Their first daughter, a very enterprising girl called MoTte ( actual meaning Bald headed )

Second Born girl ChinnaPiLlai ( roughly translated to Small kid )

Third born, again a daughter- A very novel name NonnapiLlai ( translation lost out on me..:( )

There were more that were following , but I had lost track of who was who...reason : they moved out due to lack of space...non availability of vacant sites, to up their humble abodes, Low tolerance of new residents who couldn't handle someone of such assumed atrocious qualifications!

And the best reason : They had made the small spot on top of the covered drain their city ( yes, Thats what they did....everything in a small spot, huge family, pets, all fuel storage, the gossip corner, etc in one small space)

Of course now the Chinna, Nonna etc are not recognisable...but when the patriarch of the family passed away a while ago ,nearly 30 years after he had stepped into that area...there were moist eyes for him...and many from the house owners who valued his presence in their construction site ages ago...

And he was called MuniyanDi : Muniyappa for the records.

Do we still have such people? So loved but still so humble, from a section of society most times scorned upon?

Showered clouds!!

2008-03-14T23:49:00.007+05:30

The whole day they were at it...the RJ at every station..

5 word reports- "Ivathu MaLe baruva soochane idhe" (It looks like it is going to rain today)

"Cloudy, with a spell of rain towards the evening"

How many times, through the years i've heard this. And also know that they'll be hitting the nail on the spot.

Thats how it has been,

the joyous clouds, mr sunshine steaming into the tarred roads, as if he's in a hurry, always isn't he? He has to catch up with the steaming Chennai...and off he's run off to.

Today has been a poetic evening- the sky was so awashed with color, that it looked like some thing out of the fairytale book. The pinks, merged with the blues, and when I looked out it looked as if it were going to just walk away with my thoughts.

It looked as if the skies were painting to the tune of the stress around town...eggjams and more exams. It sure was a beautiful sight.

Late into the night, I was still to answer my younger one..." Its so pink, when it should be fully dark now. Why, Ma? " I still had unanswered thoughts in my mind and some were to be let off...but the beauty of the stretch of pinks, and greys and blues took my breath away.

And now when the raindrops pitter patter to compete for space on the dry streets...I can smell the just wet earth, and it brings peace to my swirling mind.

This is what my city has been for me...always at peace with herself. Just when someone, starts to draw out lines of harshness on her yucky, sweaty heat...she comes down with her remedy.

Yes!! We've had our first drops of rain...and i'm sad , cos its always been a ritual for me to take the kids out into the first shower. The joy has to be seen to live it.

But there will be more to come .

This reminded me of a very lovely song...love the way Sonu Nigam has sung it

Trespassing?

2008-03-12T23:11:00.007+05:30

"He can't just come and look through my things in my cupboard, Ma! " My son said.
It sounded so insignificant at that time, but I knew how it would feel.
How it feels to have someone go through your things without your permission.

It feels creepy, and haunted.
Privacy can be such a guarded emotion, that you feel so sick, if someone were to disrespect that. Sometimes, there is a need to, keep things to yourself, incidents to yourself, and more still, your space to yourself. And if anyone, were to sift through, and perused the details as if it were on display, you would feel, disgusted.

Does it give the right for anyone to just do whatever they feel is right, just because they think so, or they feel it is their right to do so? Isn't it tresspassing over someone's space and then coming back to say sorry, as if they didn't want to or mean to do it. When it is known that the other person has his private space and moments and needs, is it the right of anyone to just walk in and act as if they can take over? Can a personal space be encroached for one's own pleasure and reasons?

Being a mother, I know even at this age, I need to give my son his space and I do. And when he says I dont want to say anything now, I give him the right to remain quiet and then talk to me when he needs to.
But why do some people act as if they own the air around them and walk around probing into everyone's lives??

It can be sick and equally creepy.