Intrinsic motivation!!

"Dhruv, if you stand up , you cannot answer this question. Ok now somebody tell me,.... On what continent is the Amazon River located? , Sukrit, you can't answer this question" (Here Drhuv is a 5 year old, and Sukrit a big 13 year lil more knowledgable old boy)

A soft, dulcet voice pipped higher than the rest. The authority in her voice was evident. There was no mistaking her role. How could anyone not stand and watch and listen?!

I still have to come across a sight so heartening and filled with warmth. 10 pairs of bright, sparkling eyes were looking unblinking at her, in rapt attention. They could not afford to miss even one word, she had very thoughtfully put forth. If they did, another child would put up her hand - a la classroom style, before they could, and they would lose all of 5 points.

I stood a few feet away, just at the turn of the corridor, eagerly awaiting the response. What I saw, will stay etched there in my forever filled heart. A petite, 8 year old girl ,Dia, was holding a book of TRIVIA and surrounding her in a radius of less than a feet were 5-6, four, five and six year olds...girls and boys all huddled , sitting cross-legged and staring wide eyed-eared at her. She had achieved what few of us adults can. To get a child of that age to sit still is an achievement and that too during their evening playtime- we momma's can vouch for that.

Now I understand why my little one had come home the other day from play and said in a very angry, sad, dejected tone and told me, "Ma! you're very bad, you didn't teach me the capitals of the world!, even Mahika knows :(" Then, I had wondered what brought this on and my mind had raced and delved in to his school schedules, to see if I had missed some test of his. I sat with him then and was beaming a huge grin. It was my favourite pastime, we were out with our Atlas ( I would read the Atlas when I was a kid, when I was bored) and my son was all ears and hands and legs looking at the small, tiny lettered cities and countries and rivers and mountains....

What could have been a time consuming, tedious, war logged task for us parents, who have hyperactive, restless and 'terribly short attention span' children, who think only of running, jumping, and falling, Dia had achieved it effortlessly .

Also spotted were a few older rather smug looking boys ( the 12-13 year olds) including her brother who sports a T-shirt, that reads, " I'd rather trade my sister for a video game" and my older one too, walking past and slowing down next to them, hoping to overhear her questions, and then running it through their mind databanks, if only to go back and show off their ' I'm superior skills',

Motivational skills developing early. I'm sure her little class will ever be thankful to her. And so will their proud momma's and papa's , even though it means asking her son for the millionth time, after being told,

Son,- "Ma! ask me what is the capital of Turkey"

Me ,-" What is the capital of Turkey? "

I'd like to leave you with a classic poem on motivation. I loved this and wanted to share it with all of you.

Promise Yourself

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing

can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity

to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel like

there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything

and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best,

and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others

as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on

the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times

and give every living person you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself

that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear,

and to happy to permit the presence of trouble.

The Opportunity to Choose Love!!

It may be easy to look around our world today and see the appearance of chaos, difficulty and strife. Yet, when we come from an open heart, we can also see our opportunity to love all things into balance, joy, harmony and peace.

When we bring unconditional love back into our personal, professional, community and family lives, we begin the journey of restoring wholeness and happiness to our planetary adventure. Of course it takes determined effort on our part as the old ways of being are quick to return in our mind. However, this effort to love is rewarded with a new perspective on everything and all life benefits as a result

Our lives are weighed down with past memories and expectations from the future. How can we let go of all that clutter and live life spontaneously? We feel burdened not because of our present but because of the past hanging around our neck like a heavy stone.


And when I look back and think of all the little things that makes us love or be loved, it gives me a smile

I was thinking of all the little things that makes me smile, those small things that keeps retracing its steps back into my memory.

It is the -

Crisp air early morning that brushes its presence on my face…still sleepy but nevertheless awaiting the feeling.


Endless thank yous I get from my kids, each time I buy them the gift that they have always wanted, secretly dropped hints and sometimes very directly screamed into my ears….but when they do get their gift as a surprise, the glow on their face and the “thank you ma!, thank you!! “ it makes my heart sing a song. Not because they said their thank you, but because their heart was singing.

The phone call that I get from a very close friend, when I least expect but most needed It sure lifts my spirits

When I see the one book that I’ve been wanting for ages, and there it is right in front of my eyes…

I receive a card from my father for my birthday, with the money all in crisp, fresh notes. Its not the money, but now it has begun to represent my dad for me…He can never increase the amount. It should remain the 100rs that he started off with when I was a smaller child.

The momma moments that can never be replaced or exchanged by the father. He’ll never accept it, saying he has his moments too…but mine are so special to me.

The look on my sons’ face when he wins a prize, the beaming smile and pride in his voice, makes me cry…and laugh and swell with pride too…
The rare occasions when the older son helps his younger brother or stands up for him during kiddie fights, when he thinks I am not aware of it.

When my younger one eats something that I’ve made and says “awesome” …I don’t need any rewards after that.

Each time I walk out of the house and have a small hand hug my legs, and say “ Love uuuu” and turn around to see that they belong to a neighbours kids…aawww

When my friends pick up on every sigh and sniff and call up to just catch up. That’s what I’d call love

The memories of how the boys in our graduate class, bought small baskets of chocolates and a flower each for their classmates. That sure was so touching.

When the little ones, draw a little heart with an arrow pierced inside to show their love, it is so cute, though if it were to be done by an older person I would freak.

And when you see sunshine in the eyes of your loved one…that’s love! Leave things of your past behind and look forward to a life of love and happiness.

So many more that I’ll start needing more than this space…

Do you have anything that would define such moments..?


For all those who walk into this space …
I’d like to wish

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!

Changing past patterns!!

The clocked ticked on and on. However much she looked it refused to change its mind. It went ahead and tick tocked…

She woke up with a start and looked at the clock yet again…hoping that it was lying. It showed 4.30 AM, and she knew she had to wake up. But there was something not so right. The space beside her stared like a lonely bird out on the tree. She thought she was in a dream…it couldn’t be. He was always back by this time.

She tried her best to trample on her suffocating thoughts, that were drowning her sanity. He had always come in late, but had slowly slipped into the soft, sun dried sheets, and spread his warmth . So today she knew that she should be scared.

She thought back to the times, when she was young….darkness , had haunted her. She had always wanted to hear the voice of an adult- her mother, before she closed her eyes.
She wanted that memory to last. But then she had moved on, in life and in age. Now she was the adult, but her heart still reached out to her childhood wants. She had wanted to say ‘Goodnight!’ before she snuggled under her blankets.

Times changed! Her heart stayed in the same track, but her life went ahead. She was happy when she married, now she needn’t be afraid. There would be a strong arm next to her, keeping her smile on, even after she said her goodnights. Early nights blended into dawns…but her mind still wanted. Her life had changed and so had her strength.

She looked at the blank space next to her, and got out of bed. Her fingers went out and dialed his number.. her sleep laden eyes, didn’t have to see what her hands were doing. She had gone through this action so many times, that it was so natural for her. She dialed yet again, only to hear the constant ringing of the phone. Her mind swirled with generous thoughts. She tried yet again, this time a sleepy voice answered…

“Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?” she nearly tripped on her tongue.

His answer sent her into a fury, but she chose to be silent, as silent as her home. She hated confrontations.

She started on her chores, tears threatening to fall, but her resolve holding them back. She heard a beep beep, her phone said it had received a message.
She read it through and sighed
“Pea brain, when do you need the car to be sent. The driver will come there by 6.00 AM get the kids ready by then.”

She sighed yet again….how times had changed from her being called “the brain” to being called “pea brain”

In response to Writer's island prompt

Why??

“What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.”

Early morning ,she finished her chores hurriedly at home. Many mouths to feed, a drunkard for a husband, who stays drunk all his waking hours., just waiting for those small coins to clang in his pocket. The day’s beverage has been taken care of- his wife has slogged hard through sickness, kids routines, foul mouthed neighbours and of course the husband’s never satisfied brawls. Little is he aware that once he sprawls himself in the corner of his abode, she sets out to do her bit for us ‘conscientious citizens’ out on the streets.


Her task is to clean the streets, collect the dry waste scattered all over the roads and the footpaths. Each morning she has a really stinky job on the hand. I’m sure the very “My country is so dirty, the roads are filled with muck and the people are so dirty” will never get to hear her heart and her mind’s conversation as she goes on her job.

A long stretch of stonewall bordering an institution by day, turns into a stench filled roadside toilet by night. There is a properly managed “Nirmala Shouchalaya” across the road, but isn’t it a task to cross the road?? Nah! This wall will do….”I’ll finish the job quickly and scoot! No one will notice!”

By morning the stench filters through the masala gravies and dosa smells of the eateries close by and provides the lady her duty to do. The authorities have tried and done their bit. They sprayed chemicals and cleaning agents each night, but the physical cleaning has to be done by the woman.

The perpetually plastered figures against these walls never stop, but the guys in the hierarchy did devise a new plan.

They fitted in boards in the local language and also English “ Do not urinate here” it said. , but pray tell me- which person drunk or not in the dark of the night or bright daylight , stands long enough to read these notices. If he could wouldn’t he head to the space allotted opposite?
Knowing the Indian sentiments and religious fanaticism, they came up with a bright new plan.

If you can’t beat them, plaster them…yes they did just that. Pasted across are tiles painted with innumerable depictions of GODS all over the stretch of wall. There will be no space for religious indifferences. One can’t break down the wall like they did the other religious structures across the country. Each religion has been given its proper space. So there is an eclectic mix of symbols and figures. But will it help?

Will they stop now or won’t they?

I’ve done it again !! :)

J from “On the Rocks” tagged me. Considering the fact that there have been just tags that I’ve been doing the last few posts….I now seem to have given out all my secrets, my quirks, wants, everything….

1. Name Three Most Valuable Assets?

Honesty, compassion, humour ( trying to see humour in every moment of your life)

2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?

Would you make some tea for me??

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?

Now, I have been a very adventurous person, I accept, but I have never wanted to get shot…No way am I going to shortlist. The more the merrier…all of them…please

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?

Back to my bed, every morning, after a really no sleep night

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

Seeing my child smiling through his tears. In this rat race to win, I’d like him to accept failure and success in the same spirit.

6. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?

Regrets just make you feel aware of your inability to handle something. I would like to leave things behind, and move on. Not to look back. So no….I have no regrets.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?

My existence. Which is defined by my most wonderful family, my friends , the crazy ones and the whiny ones too…and ‘my smile through tough times’ ability

8. What would you do if you found a briefcase full of money?

I don’t know….First,i’ll be so confused with all the suggestions around me, but I’m sure, I’ll just go buy lots of gifts and give it to all the kids in an orphanage.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

If I sense the person also does, then maybe I would. Can’t say….remember I’m the ‘should I , shouldn’t I?’ sort….

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you...

Well, not knowing J personally. I might be wrong. But from what I’ve seen through his reads…he comes across as a very sensitive, head on the shoulders kind of person and a very humorous guy. J, am I wrong??

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Humour, willing to be adventurous.. (now, don’t go looking for hints and signals, u dirty minds!!! ) and like the AXN movies a little less

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?

The rude, impolite and obnoxious ones.

13. What is your ambition?

To stick to my goals and swim harder against the tide

14. What is the thing that will make you think someone is a bad person?

Bad…no, I can’t think of someone like that. Maybe they are bound by circumstances…so they could be reacting to it.

15. If you could do one thing different in life, what would it be?

To learn to say NO! politely but assertively.

16. Are you a shopaholic or no?

No…firstly I shop only as a necessity, and even when I do go out…I land up shopping for others. So if that qualifies, yes.. But you can’t drag me to each and every exhibition, sale and discount happenings in town. I’m not the person for you….

17. What is your stress buster?

Music, reading, and many times, I’ve been known to cook the most time consuming dishes (I’ve made kozhukattais, during my sons exams, not one or two, but 108,something which people normally make for festivals) to ease my brains out

18. What should be done to people who make such long tags..

Award them for thinking up so many questions…and patiently waiting for the tagged ones to do it. J…are you listening??

19. Do you think God actually exists?

Considering we come from a family who has a festival for each and every sneeze, cough and smile…I’m now acclimatized to accepting the presence of the power above. But I trust and believe there is a power above guiding me around. And if that is GOD then so be it

20. What is the one thing you would change about yourself?

My habit of procrastination

This question was mine to add in place of another in the tag.

Now tagging others. Do it in your own time…

PS from Just a mother of two

Preethi from Incessant musings
Rayshma from doodlez
Madhumita from One True Thing
Tys from life and other such nonsense

Now for the instructions. Remove 1 question from the tag and add your personal question. Make it a total of 20 questions, then tag people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them that he/she has been tagged.

Done…now I’m off….happy times all of you!!

'Tis a blessing!!

“When the first light of sun, Bless you.
When the long day is done, Bless you.
In your smiles and your tears, Bless you.
Through each day of your years, Bless you.”

Early morning , rushed as always…the clock has been peered at, jeered at so many times, it might just walk away! And amidst these hurried tasks, getting a little unwilling child ready to school….I heard a soft melody.
I’m not imagining the voice, so I turn around. My little one, was busy wearing his shoes and singing …actually he was practicing his school founder’s hymn. He was supposed to be singing it sometime next week ( but according to him it is not this week, but day after week , explained in actions…and yes I got what he conveyed )

The song reminded me of the little Myna bird that visits my house every morning in the hope of some tidbits. So soft, yet so assertive. This also made me want to spread some cheer…

Then remembered, that the very wonderful and thoughtful Suma had in her blog tagged me to spread this blessings around.
This tag is a blessing in disguise and i'm glad that I can keep up this chain. I have been asked to select three people and direct some positive vibes their way. And this picture below is to represent that the tag is indeed traveling virtually across the world. For the sake of the chain, I can tag only a few, but I do wish the very best for everyone passing by my blog.

All the blessings we enjoy are Divine deposits, committed to our trust on this condition, that they should be dispensed for the benefit of our neighbors.

These special people i'd like to pass on to

Vivek : Made himself popular with his whimsical nickname “Hells Angel” and his fantastic work. Never seen a more hardworking and focused person. I pray that he sees many more brighter days and fulfilled dreams.

J from on the rocks : He wanted to clone himself, I’d like to pass this blessing, so that he’ll have many more wonderful times ahead.

Vinesh : Setting out on a dream journey called married life with his wife, I’m sure he’ll need all our wishes and some of these blessings to go along with him.


Pass this on and please feel special as you wave your wand around