I don't know what!!

Has there been a time in your life when you feel lost...not the lost in thoughts...but just LOST. You don't know what you feel or don't know what you want? All you know is that you're feeling
"I don't know what".
Sometimes I feel i'm missing something or someone, but can never pin it down. At times like these, I just pick up the phone and call a friend..it works all the time...trust me.
When i'm in a mood that can be dangerous for friends....I just call my sister...she's my sounding board...solid one at that...( though she's a year younger) But when you can actually complain and criticize the same people and have a similar opinion..or just find faults with some system...it feels cathartic. I don't come away from the call , with any kind of surefire solution..but the few laughs, the small whines and the endless " non worries" helps.

Still there are times, when I find myself listening to soothing chants of music. I'm not fussy....I'd love to listen to any kind. It could be very repetitive recitals of or chants of shlokas....it could be the lilting tunes of instruments...( The ones that say they remind you of winds, mountains, rivers...) sometimes just the lovely , lively and amazing carols can just lift the spirits....after all "HO HO HO" is not gurgled out for nothing...

Sometimes, there is a that most healing hug from a friend- a hug that is not romantic or comforting, but can put you and the friend into an amazing state of ease.....feeling way better?!!
Right now amidst exam chaos, and endless mommy duties and some no use duties too and even wondering where those last 12 months went whizzing past...I find myself yearning to get back to those days when, school christmas time was all about partying, singing carols, practising for school plays and then giving gifts...it was fun..
it was therapeutic and all the more it was pure unadulterated magic of just BEING.
Next week, my kids start Christmas vacation and this time the sound of a holiday with nowhere to go, but just sitting at home chilling out....sounds lovely relaxing and plain stressfree..( crossing fingers behind the back)I'm going to just do that...do nothing that has to be planned...

And when I did hear this..my " don't know what mood" did actually soar..listen
slow but just awesome to lift those dead feet

The Banana Boat Song - Harry Belafonte

Que Sera Sera....

When we are growing up, there are all the fisheyed people ( one's who look so down on your small puny frame!) asking you"Putta, neenu BIG adhmele, yaenaagthiyaaa??? " ( lil girl, what do you want to be, when you grow big???)I'm sure the time trusted answers would have been lisped out
"Doctor- as long as the play set is intact"
Engine driver- a favourite amongst kids...( the sounds and the endless trips to the railway station , to just standthere while the engine chugs in(psst...I even went for a long ride in the engine on the way to Delhi once..)
Mechanic- How else can they explain their love for dirt, grease and ichak pichak...
Kids nowadays of course have even more varied options...what with so many opportunites creeping into their lives through media...our media then was "word of mouth - one friend would talk in low whispers and say- "hey, you know what -aa..her daddy is a -----" and then our dream world would spin its own stories..."It used be the parents who would even then answer in monosyllables..."mmm- "Media then would be the colourful posters, with really good artwork on the underbridges..." one did read- consult a sex-expert- for any problums related to se" and then you should know what could have happened "
Appaaaa...what is sex???" Hahhaa....those words still have an impact on me...I'm in the firing line now...and I now know and wholly understand why my dad would assume the " busy watching the roadsigns or directions" look back then...( Thankfully, we never said, "I want to be that" --- I might not have been writing here or even thinking about it ...)
The present scenario is far different...we can become anything we aspire for. The world has progressed to that now. Its a blessing and yet so refreshing. Its not longer LS (low society) to be a Bsc or BA graduate..there are opportunities.But wait....
Did you ever wonder what you could have become, if not what you already are???
I now know the umpteen options I could have had...
With my full name, I have beenp roudly given the title of
" BRAIN EATER"
Rally Car driver
Commisioner and many more fun things...and when I read it...it actually feels good...I still have time..'cos the last one actually said this to me.. " ANYTHING BUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW" LOL!!!! Priceless...
What do you think you could have done in your life??

and do let me know what you would have become :)

Is it easy?

Is it easy ?
To overcome :


The empty feeling that filled my being, long after the household had gone to sleep, unaware of the fear that it instilled in me. It was easy to switch off the media. But to overcome the impact of the cries, the staccato sounds, of gunfire



To overcome the hollowness, one feels, the feeling of helplessness. Yes, none of us could do anything, but pray, wring our hands and pray harder.


To overcome the amazing sense of gratefulness, for all the black clad, young, well built sons, who had their family biting their nails off, knowing this was what their men had set out to achieve, but not knowing if they will sit by their side one day, And how?!




Can I overcome, the knowledge that the very men in power, wield their mikes as if it was their fluted glasses."Such small incidents" they say, **When asked at a press conference whether the terror strike was an intelligence failure, Patil said in Hindi: "Aisa nahi hai. Itne bade shahar mein chhota hadsa ho jata hai. To total failure nahi hai. (It is not like that. In big cities like this, small incidents do happen. It's is not a total failure.)"** 'cos they are snuggled safe in the knowledge that their kin was maybe safe at home, sipping masala chai...What if it were to be their own???

If the people crying out aren't their own, why seek their votes...
How to overcome the scenes that left their impact long after the world had cast their opinions. How can the parent overcome the loss, the families who are left asunder...
what should have been a night of fun, peace and relaxation..turning out to be a nightmare.






To overcome the near ruins that the beautiful building, that the Taj Hotel once was!



Can we overcome the need to blame?
To overcome the need to reach out but know not how!
To overcome the smaller details- wear a white shirt, light a candle, run a marathon
To overcome, the misery and depression one is left with
We sit out here...far away, thinking we are safe..but didn't the one's who were affected also think the same?
How to overcome the anger-That leaves you drained out.?
To overcome the disgust that makes us aware how poorly equipped we are in the form of proper equipment for those very men who are out trying to save our lives.
It is the time to overcome but not forget, to work toward building a stronger nation...physically, mentally and yes...
Enough talk of Mumbaikar's spirit...that's not reason enough for the ruthless men on a mission to let loose their brains and everything sensible behind.
When one of the arrested terrorists said " I want to live" what did he think, his victims, didn't want to live??

Teach the terrorists
To overcome
anger and violence.
But most of all to overcome
HATRED!


P.S Came across this at a friend's.so if anyone is interested...have a look
http://smallchange.in/

Prescription doses!!

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

A hug, a loving glance, a simple thank you.

The holding of hands, the fleeting kiss.

The child's unfailing trust in the mother,

A parent's never ending need to see their child smile.

So many simple moments that bring on that smile.

A misunderstanding between friends, ones who never knew ,the need for permissions. Ones, who always were there for each other. Times when reality blended into memories, loved and cherished.

A misunderstanding breaks it apart.....stretches the distance, and life goes on...leaving behind many more hurt souls...their friends and loved ones....caught in the web of uncertainty. Pulled between two people they will always love, and have never wanted to see them grow apart.

Time heals they say...but what is the recommended dose, no one mentioned??

wish they did...

Reminds me of this story :
"Let's say you accidentally chop off your finger while preparing dinner. If you get to the doctor in time, the finger can be re-attached and there is a high chance you can regain most of the finger's functionality, albeit with a little scarring. However, if you leave it and take your time to get to the hospital, the finger becomes permanently severed and the damage thus becomes permanent."

'cos such are the great moments, which will be cherished, beautifully wrapped...when one of the friends is willing to stretch out their hand...its truly a loved moment.

Have you had a such a moment??

Smile and the world smiles with you!! :)

For all the children, whose minds are so pure, thoughts are so fresh...

For all the mother's whose brains get refreshed

every second, thanks to the lovely children

For all the grandparents whose childhood

springs to life, at the very sight

of the children flitting across like butterflies!

For the influences, that scatter across the world,

the media, the cartoons,

the much misunderstood computer games

The never cease to amaze, playstations, gameboys...

They make my child smile, they make my child run

I thank the influences, without which

i'd have no stories to spin

Every evening while I wait

for that moment, when the van gets into the gate

I search amidst dirty faces, and browned hands

The most wonderful sight

The sight of that one lovely smile

The grin that tells me to forget

the bad that went by and look forward

to the most amazing of all creation

CHILDHOOD!!!

This i'd like to say and wish

HaPPy ChILbrEN'S D a Y!!!

save that child in you...its far more precious!!

And just to bring back some childhood memories, and for all those who might not have seen this

Must watch

Ek Chidiya - Awesome Cartoon Video - More free videos are here

First or the second course??

Times when you scream but no voice comes out....that happens only in my dreams....

In my house my voice always comes out , loud and clear, crystal clear. Of course after a few lines it whimpers down to a croak...and all my rantings get reduced to a sad whimper. Thats what happens when you are surrounded by 2 brats and one who has a mind which runs off to the Himalayas and the other who behaves like one in the deep blue sea...



I'm still trying to decide whether its better to choose the devil or the deep blue sea....
And when the block in the brain hits you, I sit back and enjoy my chai....
and rant...



I've had a hectic post- Diwali week.
First it was a wedding in the family...by the last day, my older one was screeching and hiding under the table..." No more yele( meals on banana leaves) , Can you please give me something to eat before I go" . The younger one...( apparently assumes he was born with a spoon..no not the silver spoon thingy...but the real one...)Each time they laid out the leaf, he would go " I'm not eating that with my hand"...and I would be rolling my eyes, and clinging on to the Kanjeevaram, for fear of the payasam dripping out of the fingers on to the silk....and all the while the guys who served food, would hover over me...assuming my sons were underfed by the overenthu mother...

How I wish, we had a bring your own lunch for weddings...(it would solve all harassed mother's problems with feeding their cranky children)

I realised what a farce the whole scene of the wedding crowd was. All the while the harassed groom and bride would bend stretch and seek blessings...the opposite end the priest would be trying over the loud din and noise of the gossipy guests.
The wedding gave me a good time for retrospection..
The various rituals they organise, are so over board, sometimes I wonder if people even know the meaning.
There is this part where after the mangalsutra is tied, the elderly guests are given a handful of rice, to be showered ( mind you....shower, meaning...gently with good wishes) on the newly wed couple. But what do I see....

at the precise moment when the ceremony is conducted..there is a loud " nadaswara, nadaswaraaaa..." with some hand signalling too...the Nadaswaram peaks to high volume..the guests...most of them, chatting away happily " Nenne, namma pakadh maneli, ondhu dodDa vishya aiythu gotha??" (Yesterday, in our neighbouring house, one big event happened, you know?)...and all the while they just throw the rice grains over the persons ahead..showering the crowd...whats the point...

One factor's discussing the varities of food offered while the other is discussing the arrangements. But how I wished, they would sincerely wish the couple and their family.

There was so much wastage in the dining hall, it made my heart bleed. What does one lose to refuse a dish, if he cannot eat it. Stretch out that hand and refuse...shake your head, and say " No" but for heaven's sake don't waste food.
When you walk out and see the street children scavenging through the garbage from the kitchen,i'd rather that they gave some food, fresh and full.
Would you like to eat such food....think of them too. They are human after all.

I asked my son to just take what he wanted and could eat...so even if it meant one dish, it was ok by me. At least he was happy, he didn't waste precious morsels of food and there was no arguments of " Finish the whole thing and then get up". It would just end in arguments and sulking kids.
For a person who eats at weddings, i'm sure you know the agony one feels after the first few courses...
So go on eat, but please think of the leftover food that the young kids on the street eat straight out of the used leaves, from the dustbin...
Please. Give a thought to them.