Lucid expressions!

“The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them” said Stephen King...
If the windows to the soul ,mirrors your thoughts, will the eye ever be able to hide???

Eyes speak the language..and convey more than you want them to.
Did it matter ?? Read here to know.

Dilli Chali....

It never fails to overwhelm me!!! Yes, thats the Taj!!! I was seeing it not for the first time, I knew what was to come, but I had waited for this moment ; one when my sons stepped over the huge gateway and into the small domed alcove, that would take one's breath away..and yes it did just that !! It is for me one of the most poetic structures one can ever witness!!

My older one just went : Wow!! ma! and the younger 'silenced' brat, ' awesome!' Yes that is how I started off my holiday. A trip to Agra, Delhi and Amritsar. Before I left, I was a wee bit worried, that ,my kids would go "so boring! , so?!! ". I was so thrilled when they were more eager than I ( I have seen it and of course knew all about the place). The small details, the lovely inlay work had them cooing and wow'ing all over. They made us take them on the tonga( the horse carraiges) rides, to the monument...not the bus for them. They walked all over, plain white paper in hand, made some lovely pencil rubbings of the textures on them. It really made me wonder, if we actually underestimate our kids and their quest for something new.

My son, had just studied all about Mughal history for his finals a few days before, of course with nothing making sense( They can't understand why they need to study something that has long gone past and if we actually need to?!!) . But these sandstone, marble fairytales, perked his interest. He could understand what they meant, when they said ' Diwan-e-aam' ,the detailing of the various artisans...the Persians who contributed their architectural knowledge, etc..One must visit the Taj and of course the Fort at Agra, to know what I mean here ,reading about them, doesn't justify the poetry...it takes your breath away!.

This was one trip I was looking forward to, not only because my sister lived there but I had to satisfy my taste buds, and experience all the quaint lil joints that one sees on the television or hears about. I trudged along, fragrances, flavours mingling with our olfactory senses, the Chandni Chowk, drooling over Ghantewala sweets , the Haldirams, the lassi joints, the chaats and fished out the teeny weeny lane that served you 'sinful, yummy and out of the world' parathas. .at the Paranthewale Galli. When I saw the paranthas being made in a small 3' * 3' space...I wondered what they could manage. The shops ( I wouldnt call it a hotel or restaurant...is a small 10ft by 12 ft space,teeming with customers, who gulp down parathas as if they were famished. I smiled as I entered..I had heard of this place ( thanks to the TV channels and its endless journeys through the country's culinary delights!), but when I saw the desi ghee used to drown the parathas, I gulped...there went my hopes of maintaining my weight..sat down and downed not one but 5 of those very tasty, surprisingly non-greasy, and light parathas. I finished off the marathon with a kela parantha and a rabdi ( gulp!! ) parantha...and I came out never feeling better...No wonder these Delhiites love their Delhi...

We also made a trip to Amritsar, where I feasted my eyes on the Golden Temple. Such amazing serenity envelops you when you enter this place, that it brought a lump to my throat. Beautiful and standing majestic in the centre of an expanse of the sarovar, pristine clean surroundings, inspite of catering to thousands and people thronging the the sarovar ...one would expect slush, mess, watered walkways....none of it...the scores of volunteers, are at it, cleaning up and drying down ...it humbles you.

One evening we taxi'ed ourselves to the Wagah Border , to watch the famed retreat . Wagah located 30 kms from Amritsar, brought forth such lovely emotions. Patriotic spirit set aside, (thats what it is meant to bring forth)...the sight of the LOC, stretches , something that I had heard so often and and read in the media, was real!! The ceremony itself was interesting, with the 2 countries distanced by just a gate!! The BSF men marching to orders, and bringing down the flag with such accuracy, that no, one flag inches lower than the other. The thousands of visitors, screaming themselves hoarse....It was a bit dramatic but still so hair-rising. I'm so glad I managed to make this trip. It was worth my time.

A lovely holiday packed with lots of memories, ones that brought a smile to my eyes, some that left a twinkle in the eyes of the children., some a lump in the throat, and others a feeling of sheer magic. I'm so glad I did this...its brought me back with such precious moments, ones that I will hold dear.

So much marble?!!!!

Exams are done with !! And now I feel lost :(

Stress levels were high...No! it had nothing to do with studies...but it had everything to do with food, kids and their silly antics.
Don't know what it is that exams make out of them....seems like there is a hollow pit in their non-existent tummy. Normal days, they are full even before the food is placed in front of them., but come exams and they are hungry! All the time.

They start studying, and they want a break !!! They want something to eat, and whatever is offered, is not what they want..hrrmppfff. I know i'm ranting...but knowing that i've cooked and cooked , makes me growl..but of course, it doesn't show on them. Kids...Such sweethearts, I accept.

Sanity levels were dipping. The lil one was trying hard to write out a revision paper given by the school. It was a photocopied version, so ,but naturally very low on quality ( what do you expect if, 100's of copies have to be made !!), so some of the lines were faded and some were not visible at all..My young one, was trying hard to write, hard because, he can't sit in one place for lengths...and I mean 10 minutes max..!! so while he was furiously finishing off some illegible words, I turned around and asked him, why his letters were looking so sad :(.

He turned back to the sheet, peered into the paper and said ' Letters, why are you sad?"
I'm still waiting in silence, the giggle suppressed.

After a few seconds, he turnes back and says " They are sad, because they have no lines!!

"I say , " Oh! oh...thats bad, we need to cheer them up, lets give them some straight dark lines.."

He very smartly said.." its ok, they don't mind, let them be!!"
And here I am wondering if exams turn them into jesters...but one things for sure, there's never a dull moment when kids are around!!
Holidays have started, and its a long long one...Am taking off to Delhi, visiting my sister, and trying to show the kids all the handiwork the historical characters, dished out , just so that the generations to follow, have a way of spending their much loved vacations...Taj!! here I come!!

Just one word is enough!

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it. ~Wilson Mizner

I got down from the auto last evening, and I had this simple thought to tell the driver that he drove really well. Amidst all the road rage, the abuses hurled at the passers by and the " they never go where you want them to " syndrome, I did just that. I told him "Neevu chennagi drive madthira"( you drive very well)...and then when I saw him give me a shy smile, I knew I was a happier person.This set me thinking.. ( at least the brains tried to function !)Tell me one person, who doesn't like being complimented. I'm sure there are always those who feel that giving out compliments need effort. Let me burst that bubble : IT DOESN'T

A few years ago, when my son was in junior school, his teacher made them do this small activity. She asked each of them to take a page, and write their name on the top of the sheet. She then passed it around and made each child put down one word or phrase he thought was apt for the boy whose name was written on top. At the end of the activity she gave the child his respective page with the entire list written in childlike and honest answers. My son still treasures that page. It had praises and some criticisms too. Some were funny and some very rude. But the lovely thing was, he loved it. He actually knew what his friends thought of him and he loved them for it.

Compliment someone with sincerity. They are simple, powerful and so relationship building. There are so many reasons to praise someone., but the most imoprtant one : It makes you feel good.Do you realise that when you compliment someone, you are just being honest, and you are connecting with the person directly and it isn't mixed up in this fast paced world, where work , speed, rage and stress takes over. Remember the Jadoo ki Jhappi, in Munna bhai...a compliment is so similar to that...it makes both feel good.
There are too many insincere compliments thrown around on a daily basis. A powerful compliment must come from your heart and be real.
There is no age limit to one who can be paid a compliment. Try telling a younger one, something nice...and see their smile light up, and when you step forward, you find that the smile has reached your eyes too.There are also many hidden benefits to giving compliments. It's amazing that such a small, simple skill like giving away compliments can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It will strengthen your relationships, boost your self-esteem, and increase your self-confidencePeople's positive traits jump out at you. Your thought processes shifts from looking for the worst in people to looking for the best. Being proactive spills over into your life. You see the possibilities, not the obstacles.

Remember the scene from "As good as it gets" ? Jack Nicholson in the restaurant scene. Watch it here
Don't know how and with whom to start? Let me help you, Anyone and everyone. Here's a list to get you started.

Yourself
Spouse/Partner
Children
Mother
Father
Sister
Brother
Boyfriend
Girlfriend
Close Friends
Employee
Coworkers
Grandmother
Grandfather
Teacher
Neighbor

Don't know what to say? Have you tried just

'You look beautiful'
you are so helpful
you are fun to be with
you speak so nicely
What you did was so nice ( I use this pretty often with my sons) They are so used to us parents always nagging or disciplining them, that such positive words help them out.
I don't know how to run my day without you ( I have this reserved for my maid : she's a great girl...and yes, I really miss her. She's quit the job 'cos she's gotten married. :( )

Five heartfelt, honest to goodness, acts of kindness. It costs nothing but a little time, energy, and the desire to make your life and the lives of others better. Compliments are defined as gracious words, given freely, which create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. They are based on the universal truth - everyone appreciates kindness.
Learning to receive a compliment graciously allows both the giver and receiver to feel good. Many of us have been conditioned to dismiss compliments. People who can't accept a compliment do so by deflecting the compliment, downgrading the compliment, or transferring the credit.
In order to accept graciously, all it takes is two words - Thank you. Just say a " Thank you"

I don't want to stop here, but of course i'd like to say this

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Sunshine on my shoulders!!!

So much has happened since the last few weeks...and I just have not been able to sit down and bring to words, the thoughts that scramble through and past my fogged brain...Call it writer's block, bored brain, numb sense or just plain laziness....
Methinks, i'm just living up to that one single line in the detailing of my sunsigns....*You remember the ones Linda Goodman wrote, and we as kids would devour her lines...nodding our head for each and every line, drilling it into our heads that she wrote it, thinking just of us...how humble was that. Well to let you know.....Librans tend to get lazy, and when I say that word, it is in the full sense....even if the world is falling apart, I do not feel like moving an inch...and so, I didn't move.
But now I had to shake out of this chilled finger mode and come over here....because, being honest ( which I always have been) I was missing this space, all you wonderful people and such lovely warmth...so here I am -

Lots happened while I was lazing around...too much in fact
My son decided to just hand me the tag of 'being a mom of a teenager'...and wow!! before I say it aloud, I think I better learn to hold my tongue in check and learn the Art of Patience..Its not easy staying quiet, but I know I need to. I need to learn to let go, to let him learn and make his mistakes. I need to learn how to stop myself from putting out my hand when he's crossing the road..Its tough, 'cos its his hand that comes out now...fast and confident. The first time he did that, I stood rooted on the spot staring at him , and my eyes glossed out..yes, it is tough. Its not every day, that we get to see the leading footsteps.
He's been everything to me. My comfort zone and my learning package. he's been at the other end of the screaming court...he's been patient. Yes, he screams too...but its because he's been poked and prodded by his mother who he thought would always take his side.
He's taught me that, in spite of the 'oh! i'm cool, exterior, he still needs to look around and find me standing there watching out for him...he knows I wont give up so easily. I'm sure he likes it too, but he's never gonna admit it. I love it too. It helps me watch and learn.
I don't know what this whole teenage bruahua is all about...they are just the same little children, with the same wonderful heart, trying to come out of the coccoon, their parents helped build.
I pray that his flight into this world is as breazy as it looks, and as simple and loved as it should.
I hope that he has the strength to be as honest as he has been and to never learn how to be judgemental.
I'd like to stretch out my hand to bless him, and wish lots of love, strength and happiness while he trudges along the various roads of life.

You know what makes it difficult to hide your tears ,when a child whose hands match the grown up bigness of your hands, and whose foot size drowns your own feet, ?? Its when he comes up to you and says " Ma!! Thanks for everything" . Its tough.

Listening to "Sunshine on my shoulders " by John Denver

Grappling with guilt

At times I feel helpless...never know how to react to someone when they tell me their loved one passed away..
Its tough . The other person is hurting, no amount of what we say is going to change the way they feel. We cannot replace their lost one...each one has his place on this earth, and only they can give it value. Niether you nor I can fill that shoe.
When you know a person, whoever he is connected to makes us feel connected. I might never have met the person, nor might I meet him ever...but still we hurt.
How do we take our minds of the guilt, when thoughts come echoing back to us. " Could I have helped?"
"If I had just given him more money, maybe he could have used it? " ( but were we to know how soon it would be needed.
" If only I had met up and had lunch together"
So many ifs...but there is only one answer...
it didn't happen...and thats why we are asking the if?

Why do we get so ridden with such guilt. It can be stifling at times.
My driver's father passed away today. And i'm sitting here chewed up with guilt. If only I hadn't asked him to come this morning to take my son for his early morning practice., maybe he would have gotten those extra few hours with him.
But I really didn't know he would go away without recovering, and neither did my driver tell me. Each time I asked of his dad, he would say , he was on the way to recovering.
Was I being too presumptious?
Was I too selfish??
God!! this can be killing.

It’s funny how death changes ones perspective to thinking. Life, an energy dome, fails to teach us half the things that an event like a death can…