So much marble?!!!!

Exams are done with !! And now I feel lost :(

Stress levels were high...No! it had nothing to do with studies...but it had everything to do with food, kids and their silly antics.
Don't know what it is that exams make out of them....seems like there is a hollow pit in their non-existent tummy. Normal days, they are full even before the food is placed in front of them., but come exams and they are hungry! All the time.

They start studying, and they want a break !!! They want something to eat, and whatever is offered, is not what they want..hrrmppfff. I know i'm ranting...but knowing that i've cooked and cooked , makes me growl..but of course, it doesn't show on them. Kids...Such sweethearts, I accept.

Sanity levels were dipping. The lil one was trying hard to write out a revision paper given by the school. It was a photocopied version, so ,but naturally very low on quality ( what do you expect if, 100's of copies have to be made !!), so some of the lines were faded and some were not visible at all..My young one, was trying hard to write, hard because, he can't sit in one place for lengths...and I mean 10 minutes max..!! so while he was furiously finishing off some illegible words, I turned around and asked him, why his letters were looking so sad :(.

He turned back to the sheet, peered into the paper and said ' Letters, why are you sad?"
I'm still waiting in silence, the giggle suppressed.

After a few seconds, he turnes back and says " They are sad, because they have no lines!!

"I say , " Oh! oh...thats bad, we need to cheer them up, lets give them some straight dark lines.."

He very smartly said.." its ok, they don't mind, let them be!!"
And here I am wondering if exams turn them into jesters...but one things for sure, there's never a dull moment when kids are around!!
Holidays have started, and its a long long one...Am taking off to Delhi, visiting my sister, and trying to show the kids all the handiwork the historical characters, dished out , just so that the generations to follow, have a way of spending their much loved vacations...Taj!! here I come!!

Just one word is enough!

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it. ~Wilson Mizner

I got down from the auto last evening, and I had this simple thought to tell the driver that he drove really well. Amidst all the road rage, the abuses hurled at the passers by and the " they never go where you want them to " syndrome, I did just that. I told him "Neevu chennagi drive madthira"( you drive very well)...and then when I saw him give me a shy smile, I knew I was a happier person.This set me thinking.. ( at least the brains tried to function !)Tell me one person, who doesn't like being complimented. I'm sure there are always those who feel that giving out compliments need effort. Let me burst that bubble : IT DOESN'T

A few years ago, when my son was in junior school, his teacher made them do this small activity. She asked each of them to take a page, and write their name on the top of the sheet. She then passed it around and made each child put down one word or phrase he thought was apt for the boy whose name was written on top. At the end of the activity she gave the child his respective page with the entire list written in childlike and honest answers. My son still treasures that page. It had praises and some criticisms too. Some were funny and some very rude. But the lovely thing was, he loved it. He actually knew what his friends thought of him and he loved them for it.

Compliment someone with sincerity. They are simple, powerful and so relationship building. There are so many reasons to praise someone., but the most imoprtant one : It makes you feel good.Do you realise that when you compliment someone, you are just being honest, and you are connecting with the person directly and it isn't mixed up in this fast paced world, where work , speed, rage and stress takes over. Remember the Jadoo ki Jhappi, in Munna bhai...a compliment is so similar to that...it makes both feel good.
There are too many insincere compliments thrown around on a daily basis. A powerful compliment must come from your heart and be real.
There is no age limit to one who can be paid a compliment. Try telling a younger one, something nice...and see their smile light up, and when you step forward, you find that the smile has reached your eyes too.There are also many hidden benefits to giving compliments. It's amazing that such a small, simple skill like giving away compliments can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It will strengthen your relationships, boost your self-esteem, and increase your self-confidencePeople's positive traits jump out at you. Your thought processes shifts from looking for the worst in people to looking for the best. Being proactive spills over into your life. You see the possibilities, not the obstacles.

Remember the scene from "As good as it gets" ? Jack Nicholson in the restaurant scene. Watch it here
Don't know how and with whom to start? Let me help you, Anyone and everyone. Here's a list to get you started.

Yourself
Spouse/Partner
Children
Mother
Father
Sister
Brother
Boyfriend
Girlfriend
Close Friends
Employee
Coworkers
Grandmother
Grandfather
Teacher
Neighbor

Don't know what to say? Have you tried just

'You look beautiful'
you are so helpful
you are fun to be with
you speak so nicely
What you did was so nice ( I use this pretty often with my sons) They are so used to us parents always nagging or disciplining them, that such positive words help them out.
I don't know how to run my day without you ( I have this reserved for my maid : she's a great girl...and yes, I really miss her. She's quit the job 'cos she's gotten married. :( )

Five heartfelt, honest to goodness, acts of kindness. It costs nothing but a little time, energy, and the desire to make your life and the lives of others better. Compliments are defined as gracious words, given freely, which create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. They are based on the universal truth - everyone appreciates kindness.
Learning to receive a compliment graciously allows both the giver and receiver to feel good. Many of us have been conditioned to dismiss compliments. People who can't accept a compliment do so by deflecting the compliment, downgrading the compliment, or transferring the credit.
In order to accept graciously, all it takes is two words - Thank you. Just say a " Thank you"

I don't want to stop here, but of course i'd like to say this

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Sunshine on my shoulders!!!

So much has happened since the last few weeks...and I just have not been able to sit down and bring to words, the thoughts that scramble through and past my fogged brain...Call it writer's block, bored brain, numb sense or just plain laziness....
Methinks, i'm just living up to that one single line in the detailing of my sunsigns....*You remember the ones Linda Goodman wrote, and we as kids would devour her lines...nodding our head for each and every line, drilling it into our heads that she wrote it, thinking just of us...how humble was that. Well to let you know.....Librans tend to get lazy, and when I say that word, it is in the full sense....even if the world is falling apart, I do not feel like moving an inch...and so, I didn't move.
But now I had to shake out of this chilled finger mode and come over here....because, being honest ( which I always have been) I was missing this space, all you wonderful people and such lovely warmth...so here I am -

Lots happened while I was lazing around...too much in fact
My son decided to just hand me the tag of 'being a mom of a teenager'...and wow!! before I say it aloud, I think I better learn to hold my tongue in check and learn the Art of Patience..Its not easy staying quiet, but I know I need to. I need to learn to let go, to let him learn and make his mistakes. I need to learn how to stop myself from putting out my hand when he's crossing the road..Its tough, 'cos its his hand that comes out now...fast and confident. The first time he did that, I stood rooted on the spot staring at him , and my eyes glossed out..yes, it is tough. Its not every day, that we get to see the leading footsteps.
He's been everything to me. My comfort zone and my learning package. he's been at the other end of the screaming court...he's been patient. Yes, he screams too...but its because he's been poked and prodded by his mother who he thought would always take his side.
He's taught me that, in spite of the 'oh! i'm cool, exterior, he still needs to look around and find me standing there watching out for him...he knows I wont give up so easily. I'm sure he likes it too, but he's never gonna admit it. I love it too. It helps me watch and learn.
I don't know what this whole teenage bruahua is all about...they are just the same little children, with the same wonderful heart, trying to come out of the coccoon, their parents helped build.
I pray that his flight into this world is as breazy as it looks, and as simple and loved as it should.
I hope that he has the strength to be as honest as he has been and to never learn how to be judgemental.
I'd like to stretch out my hand to bless him, and wish lots of love, strength and happiness while he trudges along the various roads of life.

You know what makes it difficult to hide your tears ,when a child whose hands match the grown up bigness of your hands, and whose foot size drowns your own feet, ?? Its when he comes up to you and says " Ma!! Thanks for everything" . Its tough.

Listening to "Sunshine on my shoulders " by John Denver

Grappling with guilt

At times I feel helpless...never know how to react to someone when they tell me their loved one passed away..
Its tough . The other person is hurting, no amount of what we say is going to change the way they feel. We cannot replace their lost one...each one has his place on this earth, and only they can give it value. Niether you nor I can fill that shoe.
When you know a person, whoever he is connected to makes us feel connected. I might never have met the person, nor might I meet him ever...but still we hurt.
How do we take our minds of the guilt, when thoughts come echoing back to us. " Could I have helped?"
"If I had just given him more money, maybe he could have used it? " ( but were we to know how soon it would be needed.
" If only I had met up and had lunch together"
So many ifs...but there is only one answer...
it didn't happen...and thats why we are asking the if?

Why do we get so ridden with such guilt. It can be stifling at times.
My driver's father passed away today. And i'm sitting here chewed up with guilt. If only I hadn't asked him to come this morning to take my son for his early morning practice., maybe he would have gotten those extra few hours with him.
But I really didn't know he would go away without recovering, and neither did my driver tell me. Each time I asked of his dad, he would say , he was on the way to recovering.
Was I being too presumptious?
Was I too selfish??
God!! this can be killing.

It’s funny how death changes ones perspective to thinking. Life, an energy dome, fails to teach us half the things that an event like a death can…

HO HO HO HO....MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL

carols

Resolve to solve :)

If only the old year could be thrown out of our minds...life could have been easier...the happenings eclipse what went by...hopefully it will bring on new hopes and new cheer in the new year to follow.
Last year has had its moments....memorable ones for me to cherish and some that i'd rush to forgive but not forget...i'd like to make a difference.

The holiday season has begun in full force.. ( How else would you explain, noise, muck, sand on the bathroom floor??!!!! )
They say that Christmas is a season of giving...it need not necessarily be gifts in the material sense...we can also give each other, love, peace, smiles and most important of all the time for another..
But I have never been able to understand that inspite of us making such statements about not bothered about receiving gifts.. " Its the thought that matters"...lines thrown oh so often...why is it that when one gives a gift.. our eyes light up like the stars...and sparkles and the smile stays glued all along...yes!! thats because it is fun getting a gift...I love gifts...but yes, I'm not very fussy....if one were to give me a Porsche instead of the BMW, I wouldn't complain, honest. Tell me one person who doesn't like seeing that beautifully packed ( even if the packing is all crooked, in an old greasy newspaper...) , gift with a ribbon sitting next to one's pillow, or on the kitchen cabinet..tell me...are you one of them???

Along with gifts...this year ( just like every year :) ...wonder why the trend never changes...) I follow the gang..and try to make a new year resolution..half heartedly knowing full well, the resolution will be forgotten even before the last guest leaves the TV channels...where does the 'follow the resolution' come into the picture?????

This year is no different..I've started early.. ( and blogged about it too ;) , so that I don't forget...and all you peoples out there can direct me back here with that cruel grin)
I've listed out a few resolutions...i'd love to follow through ( now I havent said, I will , mind you ;) )

1. I'm going to get into shape...I know the battle with the bulge is a long term one...but i'm going to at least start by walking past the gym every morning...if the time permits in between procrastinating, i'll even enter the gym :D .
There I said it..
Heard of the runners euphoria??
( A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." -- Neil P. Budge)
well i'm going to have the gymmers euphoria!! All days of the week....

2. I'm going to spend some more time with my family : cliched ain't it?? well...what else do you expect from a mother of two...if one is away the other takes care to see his mother doesn't miss the other... all for being a family :(

...but got to tell you they are adorable...and I love them to bits...
I'll ignore the ball knocking on the bat 24/7 with the TV on, and them mouthing the song "Desi Girl" along with their mp3 players....I'll smile along...

I watched this great video ( if you don't watch it...you'll be missing something)and now I know how I actually look and sound to the kids.... :P
Should thank Preethi from Just a mother of two for that link...its brilliant...and so ME...

3. I resolve to work with neglected people....I 'll start with my own kids followed by the husband. Poor guy is always " i'll give them break fast and then you can have yours...i'll put them to bed, and then...." so poor guy...he really needs looking after.

4. I resolve to swim everyday...once the weather gives the lovely bright yellow round ball of gas up there permission to start shining brighter...there should be a law passed for us Bangaloreans...all pools should be heated...or at least warmed up...its cruelty to human life. ...so until then, i'll just sit by the pool side and watch the water make waves :D

5. I will try to figure out how I can remember all the passwords for the umpteen forums I get into...without changing it zillions of times...i've run short of ideas... and can't even remember the answer to vague questions only they can come out with?? :(

6. I will eat out more...i'm tired of cooking. And when I get back from eating out, i'll not crave for the bowl of rice that is sitting on the kitchen counter..i'll be happy and content with the greasy food that is dished out to me...i'll stop trying to find what ingredient went into each dish...hoping I can make a similar one next time at home..without the grease...

7.I'll stop making new year plans that always start with a trip to Kosa mui, travels to Bali, then onto Macau....what nots... and eventually ends up in a Bengaluru backyard...ok...last year I did manage to fit in Goa...but one can't be lucky every year, can they?!!!

8. I will read every blog that shows an update within the same day itself..and if it doesn't show an update i'll go and see what makes them stay that long without posting...I shouldn't be making the same excuse can I??

9. I will stop procrastinating.....

10. My last one...ten I think is way too much....so i'll stop here...
The last one is to be flexible...way more than what I am...
i'll keep all the top 9 in the list flexible...that is a great start isn't it?

Wish all of you a great time, ending this year 2008...bring in the new year without a bang...we've had enough of it already....just learn to be happy with what you have...but be always ready to learn more...put out your hand to help even if it means you have to stop a minute in between your task...
BRING ON THAT SMILE...
and let that Smile reach your eyes...and help it twinkle...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS ..