Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sunshine on my shoulders!!!



So much has happened since the last few weeks...and I just have not been able to sit down and bring to words, the thoughts that scramble through and past my fogged brain...Call it writer's block, bored brain, numb sense or just plain laziness....
Methinks, i'm just living up to that one single line in the detailing of my sunsigns....*You remember the ones Linda Goodman wrote, and we as kids would devour her lines...nodding our head for each and every line, drilling it into our heads that she wrote it, thinking just of us...how humble was that. Well to let you know.....Librans tend to get lazy, and when I say that word, it is in the full sense....even if the world is falling apart, I do not feel like moving an inch...and so, I didn't move.
But now I had to shake out of this chilled finger mode and come over here....because, being honest ( which I always have been) I was missing this space, all you wonderful people and such lovely warmth...so here I am -
Lots happened while I was lazing around...too much in fact
My son decided to just hand me the tag of 'being a mom of a teenager'...and wow!! before I say it aloud, I think I better learn to hold my tongue in check and learn the Art of Patience..Its not easy staying quiet, but I know I need to. I need to learn to let go, to let him learn and make his mistakes. I need to learn how to stop myself from putting out my hand when he's crossing the road..Its tough, 'cos its his hand that comes out now...fast and confident. The first time he did that, I stood rooted on the spot staring at him , and my eyes glossed out..yes, it is tough. Its not every day, that we get to see the leading footsteps.
He's been everything to me. My comfort zone and my learning package. he's been at the other end of the screaming court...he's been patient. Yes, he screams too...but its because he's been poked and prodded by his mother who he thought would always take his side.
He's taught me that, in spite of the 'oh! i'm cool, exterior, he still needs to look around and find me standing there watching out for him...he knows I wont give up so easily. I'm sure he likes it too, but he's never gonna admit it. I love it too. It helps me watch and learn.
I don't know what this whole teenage bruahua is all about...they are just the same little children, with the same wonderful heart, trying to come out of the coccoon, their parents helped build.
I pray that his flight into this world is as breazy as it looks, and as simple and loved as it should.
I hope that he has the strength to be as honest as he has been and to never learn how to be judgemental.
I'd like to stretch out my hand to bless him, and wish lots of love, strength and happiness while he trudges along the various roads of life.

You know what makes it difficult to hide your tears ,when a child whose hands match the grown up bigness of your hands, and whose foot size drowns your own feet, ?? Its when he comes up to you and says " Ma!! Thanks for everything" . Its tough.

29 comments:

--xh-- said...

:) the wait for the post was sure worth it... it did bring some tears to my eyes - the last few lines..

this post just got me thinking about my parents - how they would have felt when we - me and my bro - got into the shoes of your son for teh first time...

wish they also blogged - it could have been so eay then.. i know they will never see thsi page, but let me tell this - thanks mom and dad... :)

ok ok - sorry for hi-jacking ur post.. lemme come bk to ur post now...
so junior is no more a junior - hope he will become a perfect gentleman leader and i hope he will excel in what ever field he may choose :)

i agree to teh T about librans... I am one of them and I know how we can trun to the laziest bums on earth.. and yeah, even if the world is falling apart, we wont move even our fingers... :)

Suma said...

i just knew you would post today....:D

and a whole lot of nodding here at this post...so many similiarities, so much sameness...

psst...i thought i was lazy, but i don't mind company...so join the club

Suma said...

and did i mention...i love the title of this post...

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Very touching one..made me nostalgic about the two I have at home..teenage will ensure roving eyes for your kids.as long as you are able to take it easy,its fun.
yes ,when the soft hands which you once grasped suddenly turn bigger,its a different feel.Their pranks also are reserved for someone else as they grow!

Good luck,its all fun
TC
CU

Mama - Mia said...

this was so beautiful! :)

even i think teenage angst is overated and a concept created by parents who perhaps didnt really understand the kid's need to grow up! :)

hope this new journey is perfect for him and you! :)

cheers!

abha

Pavi!!!! said...

God Bless the li'l one! He sure deserves a pat on the back for being so wonderful..and so do u n ur hubby for guiding him the right way.
Cheers to wat seems to be a wonderful family! Touchwood!

Joy said...

Your post made me smile and teary eyes(last lines). I was wondering how my parents thought then I realized hope I would do some justice being a mom when this phase enters my life in 8-9 years ! :)

Nice to see a post from you. Its nice to laze around. Believe me the world does not change at all :):)

And yes you are tagged.

rayshma said...

u ALMOST made me want my own kid. almost! :D

and heyy.. i'm back now! :D

brocasarea said...

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong"-this quote sums it up!!
what u said is so true....:)

Sujatha said...

Awwww, that was heart-warming Prats! Have a long way to go till the kids get to be teenagers, but can understand what you are feeling.

Sumana said...

prats, as usual a very meaningful post. It hurts a bit to realise that the little babies we held not so long back are grown up now.

ceedy said...

Wow......

You know what I am going to do is call my mom this instant....

Even today I think we all share this same feeling.....

Good to see you back...or are you just tempting us to wait for more of your writing ;)

Prats said...

@xh I guess as moms we are always the crying buckets...hope you did call them. I can imagine the brother duo making life hell for them while you'll were young...has it changed any now?? :P
Its ok once in a while to hijack spaces, as long as it is for agood cause..I'm hoping my boy turns into a pure gentleman leader...
Thank you so much for the wishes

Prats said...

@suma....the blisssss of being lazy...but the repurcussions after we have to face too :(
Hope the nodding makes you see him in the same light as I do....they just need a lot of love, and even tho they shrug off the hugs, they want the warmth. I'm sure you're diong a great job with the 2 men....take care

Prats said...

@suma again.. :D Thanks *eyes fluttering , shyness*

Prats said...

@compassion ...Thank you and straight from the Master :D

**teenage will ensure roving eyes for your kids.as long as you are able to take it easy,its fun.**

I sincerely hope so, 'cos I want all our lives to be just that, FUN.

Prats said...

@mama mia Thanks and I really want his journey to be funfilled and full of adventure.
You are right, these concepts of teenage issues are slightly over rated...

Prats said...

@pavi Thanks and yes, touchwood.

I really hope things continue in the same good track...

Prats said...

@joy Oh yes, laziness can do wonders for the soul and brain...it makes it redundant sometimes...and I have no complaints :D
And of course, you'll do a great job with your boy...

Prats said...

@raysh...Almost???? Hmpppfff...
They are fun, trust me...esp this age, where you can do a lot of things together just like friends..no taking care just spend time together..

Prats said...

@broca You know what, I think as humans we are always striving to be perfect. But there is nothing like that. Its just an illusion.
What makes us happy is what is perfect. Hopefully lives get better like that

Anil said...

very nicely written; but don't you worry, i don't think he's going anywhere in a hurry... look at me for example, i did'nt leave home till i was 30...

Prats said...

@sujatha Thank you...and yes, long way for you, but this phase is adventurous in own way too....lots to learn and unlearn for us moms.
Take care

Prats said...

@sumana oh yes, the cuddly bundles are no longer there, but the warm feeling when you hug the boy who's tall as you or maybe taller is in itself a different feeling

Prats said...

@ceedy geee, thanks :D And do pick up that Bell's invention and speak to your mom. Nothing makes us more happier than hearing the sound of the son's voice. TRust me.

And hopefully this post is a trailer to many more....pray pray pray...recession times, hit my brain too I think!!

dharmabum said...

for a long time now, i have been too stuck up and 'closed' to talk much to either of my parents. and ma, well, ever since i grew up - and i don't remember how long ago that was! - i have looked at her more as my child, than as my mother, and hence, i save her of all those esoteric conversations. with her, its breezy - just niceness and nothing else.

thanks, for this heart warming post.

Tys on Ice said...

damn woman, whats wrong with u?...u making me all teary eyed..anyways, i always think that children are a better version of their parents...going by that, hes gonna be just fine...

WannabeWriter said...

That was so touching...I bet it makes you proud too..to see your little boy all grown up and independent...good luck to you all...

Gazal said...

am reminded of abe lincolns letter to the teacher....

the last few lines got me too...

heres wishing that the mommy and son never grow up in heart and in spirit....