Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sunshine on my shoulders!!!

So much has happened since the last few weeks...and I just have not been able to sit down and bring to words, the thoughts that scramble through and past my fogged brain...Call it writer's block, bored brain, numb sense or just plain laziness....
Methinks, i'm just living up to that one single line in the detailing of my sunsigns....*You remember the ones Linda Goodman wrote, and we as kids would devour her lines...nodding our head for each and every line, drilling it into our heads that she wrote it, thinking just of humble was that. Well to let you know.....Librans tend to get lazy, and when I say that word, it is in the full sense....even if the world is falling apart, I do not feel like moving an inch...and so, I didn't move.
But now I had to shake out of this chilled finger mode and come over here....because, being honest ( which I always have been) I was missing this space, all you wonderful people and such lovely here I am -
Lots happened while I was lazing around...too much in fact
My son decided to just hand me the tag of 'being a mom of a teenager'...and wow!! before I say it aloud, I think I better learn to hold my tongue in check and learn the Art of Patience..Its not easy staying quiet, but I know I need to. I need to learn to let go, to let him learn and make his mistakes. I need to learn how to stop myself from putting out my hand when he's crossing the road..Its tough, 'cos its his hand that comes out and confident. The first time he did that, I stood rooted on the spot staring at him , and my eyes glossed out..yes, it is tough. Its not every day, that we get to see the leading footsteps.
He's been everything to me. My comfort zone and my learning package. he's been at the other end of the screaming court...he's been patient. Yes, he screams too...but its because he's been poked and prodded by his mother who he thought would always take his side.
He's taught me that, in spite of the 'oh! i'm cool, exterior, he still needs to look around and find me standing there watching out for him...he knows I wont give up so easily. I'm sure he likes it too, but he's never gonna admit it. I love it too. It helps me watch and learn.
I don't know what this whole teenage bruahua is all about...they are just the same little children, with the same wonderful heart, trying to come out of the coccoon, their parents helped build.
I pray that his flight into this world is as breazy as it looks, and as simple and loved as it should.
I hope that he has the strength to be as honest as he has been and to never learn how to be judgemental.
I'd like to stretch out my hand to bless him, and wish lots of love, strength and happiness while he trudges along the various roads of life.

You know what makes it difficult to hide your tears ,when a child whose hands match the grown up bigness of your hands, and whose foot size drowns your own feet, ?? Its when he comes up to you and says " Ma!! Thanks for everything" . Its tough.