Dreams!!!!

Oh !! To feel the luxury of not having to worry about routines, schedules, deadlines, kitchen.....

Would always believe that this could be found only in dreams....Been so caught up in hectic hustle bustle of life....kids, school, home, family.....it was getting smudged in the detailing.....each one blending into the other, that, only this small piece of heaven could bring me back to reality...

That life is meant to be lived!!

While I was younger and had the liberty to shirk, duties at home....I had this huge sticker stuck on my walls, which said " Life's a Beach!!"

Each day I used to have different interpretations to it...
One day it would be its expanse, on another, its mystery, its serenity, its wildness, its sounds...and in the end, its just being!!. I remember there were these friends of mine who would come up and scribble their bits on my posters, on every bit of writing material they could find ...

There used to be small comments or their very own quotes....some were so cute...thought I would always hold on to them...but

Years passed, those small pieces of paper, were all saved, read and re-read, millions of times....all my friends had set out on their journeys, just as I had done...my house had taken a ghostly feel...( this is where they all congregated to take their calls from home, to have their lunches, to just come home, after a movie...or better still to eat the 'gojju', that used to be prepared just in case they did land up....and then my parents would keep calling me by my friends names....cos they were all muddled up...they too were part of my entire being, staying up nights, standing on reams of sheets of paper, acting as paper weights, supplying endless amounts of tea, food, snacks, and lots and lots of love and encouragement....

I used to have many sets of parents....2 sets at home...Appa and Amma, my uncle and aunt,
then M's parents who believed I was one of their daughters too....and I remember uncle used to always tell the whole world..." U need any info, just ask P, she'll know.....she's a dynamite..." A's parents who each time they visited our city, decided that their daughter was set up in our house, so they just needed to pour all their love for me too...I was so blessed...but then this dynamite had slowly fizzled out...had become flat...

There was a transit house ...we called it that cos, we always used it like that, but never thought of it like that...but this ,a beautiful home, was filled with so much of love, outstretched arms....lots of food.....the food platter never would know who would be the recipient, but stand it did, quietly, till late nights ....knowing full well, that there would be at least one taker. Uncle had the biggest heart life could create...They had 2 sons and a daughter, and lots more who used to follow their sons into their house....and he spread his wings to 2 more girls, their daughters in law....and none of us were made to believe that we were not theirs....he's not with us anymore, but each time I remember love, he's my example for it...they still spread their arms....thru their sons, daughters in law, grandchildren, nieces....and uncles and sisters, and all.......

And then there was this huge family of friends....each one who stood for each other....we still do, I realised that yesterday...we still land up in the other homes and demand food...shame notwithstanding...but in the end, we still r the same teenagers....wanting the same things out of life.....and they still pull us up when we r slipping, give us those strong hands, give us their endless 'I'm there for u's'

Was reading thru some really immature scribblings we had written during those days...not realising that we would be reading it together after many many years....we all had dreams, we all had goals, and we all had the will to do it...but when I read them , I realised, I havent lost out on any of those dreams....it still exists, its just waiting for me to finish with all my previous goals that I had set....i've done most of them....and I am proud of what I have done so far...and one of my dreams was to be around kids , lots of and lots of them....and when I was with them, I wanted to have the feeling of love for each and every one, equally...I achieved it....they all are just like my own...and now I realise it was a silent dream while we used to spend time at this friends house...I wanted my arms and home to be always welcome to everyone...its a slow process....but i'm getting there...

And now i've begun to step out on my journey to achieve what my most important goal was, my dream........until then its hoping that my determination is as powerful and strong as my DREAMS are........