'Look into the eyes while you speak', lines I had heard so often while I was growing up, and it had become just a part of a conversation. I never dwelled on it too much, nor did I, like the kids from our generation ever think of arguing with my parents when it came to speech, posture etiquette. We just knew it must mean something good...and how right I was.
Recently I was part of a conversation where a parent was complaining about her sons arrogance and 'don't care attitude' to her son's coach. He then told her 'try asking him to look into your eyes while talking. You'll see the difference'. He said he had tried it on his teenage sons and it had worked to an extent where they now feel comfortable talking only eye to eye.
It sure got the curious cat out of me. Because, something as simple as eye contact, could hold so much in terms of behaviour discipline for a person.
Yes, its true.
Have you ever tried talking to someone, who keeps looking anywhere but at you and your eye???It feels very eerie, weird and so unsettling at times. Is it right then that one must follow such gestures?
Eye contact is a form of nonverbal communication.
I tried that with my son, and it has been working. I also can judge the mood he is in just by looking into his eyes while he talks to me. If he is in a bad mood, his eyes are open wide-eyed and yet, he has had the courage to look into my eyes now and say 'i'm not in a mood now, I don't want to talk' . Fair enough I would say...when we are not in a great mood, we too don't like being
spoken to , so why should he be different?. But if he had said that looking away from me, I would have got angry and then wondered if he was saying that just to irritate me.
As women, I know many who will agree with me when I say, that the guys who look so pointedly at nothing but at your bust..don't even get a hearing. I'm already..'gosh! he's such a creep, so what if he has important things to say?'
Nervousness can get a person to shuffling around, fidgeting with their hands, many can be seen wringing their hands like it was a wet cloth, while some even talk with their eyes closed.Sometimes, I find myself analysing people and their actions based on how they talk to their peers. It has been very interesting and so refreshing many times. I guess the reason why I never get bored while waiting for eternity for people to turn up at times, will be this. Just sit and observe without being too obtrusive.
Have you ever tried sitting down on your haunches while you hold a conversation with 2 foot chatty kid? Watch how their eyes dance, with glee, and show their excitement while they explain how the roots of a plant is white , and how they pulled it out of its socket in the soil, by themselves and it didn't break?
Have you come across such nonverbal communication that really put you off , or was very endearing while you were trying to hold a conversation with someone?