Times when you scream but no voice comes out....that happens only in my dreams....
In my house my voice always comes out , loud and clear, crystal clear. Of course after a few lines it whimpers down to a croak...and all my rantings get reduced to a sad whimper. Thats what happens when you are surrounded by 2 brats and one who has a mind which runs off to the Himalayas and the other who behaves like one in the deep blue sea...
I'm still trying to decide whether its better to choose the devil or the deep blue sea....
And when the block in the brain hits you, I sit back and enjoy my chai....
and rant...
I've had a hectic post- Diwali week.
First it was a wedding in the family...by the last day, my older one was screeching and hiding under the table..." No more yele( meals on banana leaves) , Can you please give me something to eat before I go" . The younger one...( apparently assumes he was born with a spoon..no not the silver spoon thingy...but the real one...)Each time they laid out the leaf, he would go " I'm not eating that with my hand"...and I would be rolling my eyes, and clinging on to the Kanjeevaram, for fear of the payasam dripping out of the fingers on to the silk....and all the while the guys who served food, would hover over me...assuming my sons were underfed by the overenthu mother...
How I wish, we had a bring your own lunch for weddings...(it would solve all harassed mother's problems with feeding their cranky children)
I realised what a farce the whole scene of the wedding crowd was. All the while the harassed groom and bride would bend stretch and seek blessings...the opposite end the priest would be trying over the loud din and noise of the gossipy guests.
The wedding gave me a good time for retrospection..
The various rituals they organise, are so over board, sometimes I wonder if people even know the meaning.
There is this part where after the mangalsutra is tied, the elderly guests are given a handful of rice, to be showered ( mind you....shower, meaning...gently with good wishes) on the newly wed couple. But what do I see....
at the precise moment when the ceremony is conducted..there is a loud " nadaswara, nadaswaraaaa..." with some hand signalling too...the Nadaswaram peaks to high volume..the guests...most of them, chatting away happily " Nenne, namma pakadh maneli, ondhu dodDa vishya aiythu gotha??" (Yesterday, in our neighbouring house, one big event happened, you know?)...and all the while they just throw the rice grains over the persons ahead..showering the crowd...whats the point...
One factor's discussing the varities of food offered while the other is discussing the arrangements. But how I wished, they would sincerely wish the couple and their family.
There was so much wastage in the dining hall, it made my heart bleed. What does one lose to refuse a dish, if he cannot eat it. Stretch out that hand and refuse...shake your head, and say " No" but for heaven's sake don't waste food.
When you walk out and see the street children scavenging through the garbage from the kitchen,i'd rather that they gave some food, fresh and full.
Would you like to eat such food....think of them too. They are human after all.
I asked my son to just take what he wanted and could eat...so even if it meant one dish, it was ok by me. At least he was happy, he didn't waste precious morsels of food and there was no arguments of " Finish the whole thing and then get up". It would just end in arguments and sulking kids.
For a person who eats at weddings, i'm sure you know the agony one feels after the first few courses...
So go on eat, but please think of the leftover food that the young kids on the street eat straight out of the used leaves, from the dustbin...
Please. Give a thought to them.
19 comments:
marriages are always food for thought - and yeah, as u said, most of the time, guests will be busy in gossiping and talking about 100 things under the sun, and i am not sure most of them think about the bride / groom at least once during the ceremony..
:)..large amount of food is being wasted in marriage...thats why may be they arrange self service ones[to save them]....
half of the guests wouldn't come if its take ur own lunch scheme[including myself]:D
erm.. i'm like ur brat. i also NEED a spoon to eat. i can't eat with my hands. never have. my mom could never figure out how i'd become so angrez (as she put it)... but i was like that since i was able to eat by myself.
and yes, i agree with u on not wasting food at weddings. sure i attend weddings for the food. but well, i usually stick to the one or two things that i like.
and yes.. the farce that weddngs have become. with u on that, as well.. :)
With all due respect to the world, weddings are only for the groom and bride , for the rest it is party, to relax(those without kids), eat, chat....
:) :) Everyone knows what it is to get married but its everyone to themselves to learn to swim across the ocean of life...
:)
every time I eat at a wedding I have only one thought, either I should increase my appetite so that I can finish everything on my yele, or our traditions need to change reducing the number of items and number of meals in a marriage
the voice part...i think that's me too...
and wedding oota? the wastage makes me sad...
but i love the yele oota and i swear i finish every single thing on my leaf even the salt :P
my kids on the other hand take only what they want...sometimes the basic items are already served when we sit down..but not to worry..mummy's here to finish that too...
Very well thought and written prats. Any function for that matter of fact, i can see there gets some food wasted. With all the prices of vegetables and grocery, i wonder how still anybody can put things on the yele and not eat it. I have also heard when anyone tries to wipe clean his/her yele, people often saying looks like he/she is very hungry.
How i wish that in each wedding there is a ritual where they feed the poor with atleast what comes out as a leftover.
weddings..once in a life time..the time and efforts others take to attend itself shows consideration.poverty,sadness,lack of food spread/present everywhere..but once in a while u relax, feast, enjoy and think pleasant thoughts.
its upto each individual not to waste any resources. and for littles ones these days become beautiful memories where they refused to eat with hands and in ela..and loong frm here they will think of these days with a longing to go back ..and for the parents a story for their grandkids..
Prats--Oh yes.I can relate so much to that sad wastage of food in these weddings.
In Bangalore you can call up Rakum school and they come and pick up the left over food.
Cheers
preeti
U've touched on so many topics in one post prats...
ya eatin on the banana leaf is a no-no for me too.. i used to bug my ma for all these yrs, whenever we visited some-place where they served on a banana leaf..n now i eat the hubby's head abt it. I say "Nu pls tell 'em na..tht i want to eat in a plate" ;)
The food wastage at marriages or any big functions is really painful to see.I wish people were not so inconsiderate just coz its not their money!
n abt rituals..well..have u ever attended an Arya samaj weddin?i attended one of 2 frends who were gettin married w/o their parent's knowledge..n the way the pundit xplained each ritual was simply amazing..they all make so much more sense now.
We had him come to our weddin as well..too xplain each ritual we were made to perform..n i loved it :)
@xh So true....they hardly think about the grrom and the bride, but they will be busy yeah...
@broca Most of the times, the buffet is for the evening reception, which is just one of the hundreds of meals...
And teh take your lunch scheme is for hassled moms....i'm sure the bachelors will be given those extra dollops of food
@rayshma...:D I know of many who say that...I just wonder how one of mine turned out that way...
@joy...you are right...and that is the reason I feel the main rituals should just be held with just the needed people...and then throw a dinner or lunch for the guests..it makes it simpler
@rambler knowing that the rituals will not change drastically....you should just train your apetites betetr ;)
@suma....I'm like you too....I end up eating the food that they can't, and then feel like a stuffed duck and have to nearly waddle around....arrrgh..
@sumana ...I'm sure that can be done...feed the poor...I am planning that in my next few events at home...and having boys I have a couple on my plate soon....
@rm...you know what you said is very right...its the memories...but nwodays many parents hardly take their kids along. MOst of them are left behind because the kids don't want to go. I know it is tough balancing both...but its the wastage and absolute disrespect for the sanctity of the rituals that saddens me...but each one to his own
@ps :) I have to keep that name in mind...and the next time pick up the phone..Thank you for letting me know.
Especially desi and sri lankan weddings r events to waste food n money and also engage in heavy gossip LOL!
btw Im saying Goodbye for awhile Prats..I'll be bak soon tho. TC n be well HUGS!
Keshi.
but i love weddings! i usually polish off all the food on the 'yellai' or the grimy plastic plate at the self-service counters :)
but i know what you mean... and it gets worse when people are playing the one-up-manship games when it comes to wedding expenses!
so so true.
while i have no qualms with people chatting at my wedding, i hate the criminal waste of food.
i rerember at my cousins wedding we actually filled up all the dabbas with left over food and took it to a basti close by. they happily accepted the fod and we were glad to avoid waste.
loved reading the post and your kids' utter frustration at lack of spoon! :p
cheers!
abha
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