Friday, January 18, 2013

16 is not the same as 17..

That non stop chatter that would fill my house and my life all his young days. The need to tell me with actions and effects all that happened at school, at play. I could never say 'Later'..He would follow me around like a lil puppy. He would call out to me so often, that many of my friends and cousins would bully him saying that "Yes, she is your Ma, and she's not
running away anywhere", and it didnt stop him.

From tricycles to hotwheels cars, to tracks, to gameboys and psps to mobile phones to moved on at a breakneck
speed. As a 2 1/2 year old who refused to go up on stage for his fancy dress competition dressed as a clown, only because he was scared. Those big drops of tears that fell down his cheeks broke my heart then, that I had actually given in and played his favourite song "Soldier, soldier" from the same movie of Bobby Deol. It played its magic and he walked away clowning around and winning his first ever prize.
The apple of my eye..and yes he is. He towers over me..and sometimes it unnerves me. The lil child whose hands would cling
to mine now reaches out to me, even if i'm to cross a road. And then I look back and smile. He is still my lil boy, the lil puppy, Only now, his eyes do the watching, but now it is watching over me, not waiting for me to reach out. It brings a lump in my throat, and the eyes as always tear out. I still get a call if i'm not at home when he gets back from college or play.He still throws his tantrums..which i've learnt how to master. He doesnt give up though..but now its to just bully me. The minute he sees me getting all irritated, he walks away with a sly smile and I know i've lost again. When did he grow up?

They say 16 is a sweet age..I agree. 16 is not the same as 17. You are suddenly left with a young man on the threshhold of
his life...uncertain about his dreams, because he still doesn't know if he can let go. But strongwilled and determined enough to convince me if he needs anything. This is my lil boy who talked nineteen to the dozen..but now if I can hear 3
words more i'd be ecstatic. His silence speaks to me in different ways, and he knows I understand him more than anyone else. We have an equation that defies all parenting textbooks.
When he tells his father, that it is best to give me space when i'm angry (the cause of anger being him), it makes me wonder where I did the right thing?

His space, his time and his moods. I will cherish them all. It's made him what he is, and in the process, it made me what I
am. A proud mother. Always.
But when he insists on riding the 2 wheeler only because he's grown up and 17 already, I refuse to accept that...NEVER.

He's my baby forever.


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