Thursday, November 5, 2009

Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"

Children can be such stressbusters!!!

One minute they are making you tear your hair ( slowly dwindling numbers) out and the nest they are soothing your tensions away with their funny ways.
One day i'm sure i'll soon be waving my hands off to my kids backs and then i'll look back on these days and think " what the heck, it wasn't so bad after all!! I wonder why I made such a big fuss about it? :( " I guess parenting can be trying.

Trying, on the brains and on the slowly tiring out souls. With one son in his blissful teenage years, blissful because he wants it to be that, and knows the mom is glaring at the phase, and the younger brat on his case to becoming the best disciple of brotherhood!! It can be fun if one looks at it that way...but however I look at it, it doesn't seem so. Am I looking at life lopsidedly I wonder!
I always thought mothers were a 'super market' with endless supply of questions, solutions, craft projects, supply store....but sadly its never enough.
The older boy is always in the "You dont know anything, Ma" phase, but keeps coming back to me and asking me for opinions...and when I do give one, feeling way too thrilled at being considered, there is a retort " You dont know anything" Oh yes, we never know anything enough, do we???

Most of the times the siblings are at war with each other...fist fights and sometimes the younger sends out those nasty kicks too ( a karate kid, he is) ...but when I try to pry them apart and put them into their respective rooms, it fails to maintain some semblence of order. The very
next second, they are in each others rooms again. I give up and rightly so! Let them fight their wars...
It started off with " Don't hit him, he's younger and can't understand", but the young brat picked up on that and now he's bullying the older teen :( Talk of understated ages and sibling issues.

Erma Bombeck had rightly said this about kids
"Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids." How right she is!!

But the back of my mind rebels and rightly points its finger in the direction of guilt if I were to let them get a earful.

It is tough I know, Because guilt is the only gift that keeps on giving! I have to still find a parent more specifically a mother who refuses her child something for his own good only to spend the rest of the day wallowing in guilt. But i'm so glad to say i've finally conquered the "give in to guilt" syndrome...and can now just feel horrid and terrible but carry on as if I was always right...I smile through the guilt and let it eat my insides but still try not to give in to those emotional blackmails kids are so technically masters of.

Do you know how many it takes to turn off the bathroom lights? Well 2 !
1 who says "Which light?"
and the other who retorts with " I didn't turn it on, so..... " and this coming from a kid who's a member of the 'Go Green club' in our apartment complex... lol!!! hrmmmpffff.

I wonder how mothers of 10 kids managed in the yester years or did the phase teenage years never exist???
I'm still trying to find the far end of the momma super market , where they find patience and tolerance in discounted form or better the "Buy one get one free" section.


Ugich Konitari said...

Great post !.

And although you and I possibly belong to different generations, I have often wondered, with all that gets written about adolescence etc these days, whether my friends and I actually went through adolescence....

Thats how it was earlier. Thats how Mom's in those days brought up 10 kids , just like that. And thats how we grew up too.

Except nobody wrote about it :-))

brocasarea said...

nice post!!..:)

moms r always moms-caring,strict,annoying sometimes and honest!!

i still remember my lecturer[in 12th] saying tht PARENTS r the only ones who really care abt u in ur life..not even ur wifebros etc!!....

Preeti Shenoy said...

Superb visual you posted here..and heck you could have been describing my two!
I think they are born to teach US lessons--to be more patient, kind, understanding..and we go through life thinking we have to teach them! :)

Suma said...

were you describing my boys? much learning we have to do, don't we?

Preethi said...

lol @ I'm still trying to find the far end of the momma super market , where they find patience and tolerance in discounted form or better the "Buy one get one free" section.

I absolutely love Erma Bombeback.. isnt she so to the point!! :) The kids are so smart these days, they know how to play their cards :)

Prats said...

@ugich So one ever wrote about it...i'm sure they went through these issues too, but they were much more silent than we are I guess

@Broca : Thanks, and its so nice to hear a son saying that about his mom...and your prof was right, though friends can be such lifesavers too

Prats said...

@preeti : Thats right, while I was growing up I never understood the very soul of parenting...I think having kids makes you more richer in knowledge...they are truly such amazing teachers

@Suma :) We still have a long way to go :(...but until then i'd like to think i'm in a fun park, rolelr coasters, et all :)

Prats said...

@preethi :) Erma is such a dear...looks liek she bred all our kids in the

Vinesh said...


Not an expert in kids, so just hmmm...

And it's strange... I don't think I was ever a kid!? At least, I can't remember being one!

Hershey Desai said...

sadly even at this age I held the "you don't know anything notion"...but today it turned out that mommy did know and it was the kid that was clueless.

You just have to wait until the child realizes it for himself. He will eventually...

and they are brothers, brothers fight. Its part of the "brotherly love".

And oh, you got the guilt thing all a mother you are supposed to GIVE guilt, not receive it re. Hell, one of the best perks of being a parent is to be able to make kids feel guilty. Comes with the title.

Its very effective, trust me. Just telling your kid "I love you always" drives his brain into a pool of guilt should he do something to upset that love.

Parenting. Weird phase of life. Enjoy it as much as you can. Your children are doing fine from what I read...I speak from a "recently -left-the-teen-title" experience.

Now go use guilt on them so they stop fighting.

guru said...

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Madhumita said...

At least yours waited to be a teenager before the "you don't know anything" bit - I hear this repeatedly from my 6 year old :) - not good for my ego I tell you ... its also usually followed up with - "lets ask dad - he'll know"!

Shaili said...

Lovely post... i bet all the parents out there can relate it... I'm at the receiving end of parenting though
Anyway, nice blog!

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Hmm...enna idhu...ore Amma pugazh...manyimes Appas too suffer in this eternal battle of DO THIS & DONT DO THIS !!...Beautiful post

Aarthi said...

He he.. I really wonder how even the most impatient women turns out to be a completely patient mum !!! Top of all when the kids say "You dont know anything" I wonder will I stop myself from giving a kick !!! A sweet post for a person like me at the door step of motherhood.